Author | Lightnews

Jasper J. Jaspers

@jaspers47.bsky.social

90 followers 340 following 1.3K posts

Trying to reclaim the number 47. It's not going well. Mostly movie opinions and lefty snark https://letterboxd.com/ajaspers47/

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Jasper J. Jaspers @jaspers47.bsky.social · Jan 20

I apologize in advance to all y'all, I'm going to be spending the next four years Tweeting through this

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Jasper J. Jaspers @jaspers47.bsky.social · 11h

Sam, Ziggy says there's a 98% chance you're here to help Stu the bus driver ask out his girlfriend.

Jasper J. Jaspers @jaspers47.bsky.social · 11h

Real cowboys take their hats off indoors, pardner

Jasper J. Jaspers @jaspers47.bsky.social · 11h

Harley Quinn's infatuated description of a bodega sandwich did more for my understanding than a lifetime of other media.

Jasper J. Jaspers @jaspers47.bsky.social · 11h

I was about halfway across the parking lot when I realized I should have waited till November 5th to see Back to the Future in theaters

Jasper J. Jaspers @jaspers47.bsky.social · 11h

Carter Burke has just endorsed Andrew Cuomo

Paul Reiser as Weyland-Yutani company representative, Carter Burke

Jasper J. Jaspers @jaspers47.bsky.social · 11h

Can somebody please print this on a Wendy's takeout bag, so maybe he'll finally learn?

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Jasper J. Jaspers @jaspers47.bsky.social · 15h

Any commercial jingles from ~30 years ago you can sing verbatim?

Jasper J. Jaspers @jaspers47.bsky.social · 1d

This is my "Progressive can't protect you from turning into your parents" callout post

Nick Kapur @nickkapur.bsky.social · 1d

"Person who brought a burned out lightbulb to the store, just to make sure they buy the correct replacement bulb"

x.com/dailyportalz...

Jasper J. Jaspers @jaspers47.bsky.social · 2d

What I'm seeing is one group of people who actually enjoys a holiday and its traditions, against another group who has descended into apathy from obligation.

QED, the instigator of this smear campaign is Spirit Halloween, who thrives on their $13 "Ya Gotta" costumes.

Jasper J. Jaspers @jaspers47.bsky.social · 3d

This is either a recession indicator, or just a revelation because I haven't been out on Halloween since Covid, but an alarming number of adult Halloween costumes are just "clothes I wouldn't normally wear".

Jasper J. Jaspers @jaspers47.bsky.social · 3d

a man in a purple vest and bow tie says " you did it "

ALT: a man in a purple vest and bow tie says " you did it "

media.tenor.com

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Jasper J. Jaspers @jaspers47.bsky.social · 3d

It's been roughly 30 years, but I'm still miffed about this: If a kid is still out trick or treating after 7:30, don't be a passive-aggressive bitch and greet them with "good morning"

Reposted by Jasper J. Jaspers

Jean Kayak @jeanniepep.bsky.social · 4d

I was watching Poltergeist (1982) last night & noticed something

Dr. Leah from Poltergeist (1982) resembles Aunt Gladys from Weapons (2025)

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Jasper J. Jaspers @jaspers47.bsky.social · 3d

Modified scene from the Simpsons. The clumsy, Clouseau-esque waiter is instead insisting he is not a clumsy, Clouseau-esque cyclist.

Jasper J. Jaspers @jaspers47.bsky.social · 4d

Remember in 2020 when you kept seeing articles saying things are getting worse, things are getting worse, things are getting worse, and then one day it got really bad all at once?

Shoe+ @shoe.bsky.social · 4d

Uh oh

Jasper J. Jaspers @jaspers47.bsky.social · 4d

She's the good guy

Duh

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Jasper J. Jaspers @jaspers47.bsky.social · 4d

Commerce never changes

Painting of a late 19th/early 20th century salesman, hawking a "miracle elixir" sold off the back of his travel wagon to a small town.

Jasper J. Jaspers @jaspers47.bsky.social · 5d

Important lesson learned today: even if you like Sparks, the odds of your coworkers liking Sparks are slim, and they're not going to take that ten second sliver of music you're using to soundtest a speaker input seriously at all.

Jasper J. Jaspers @jaspers47.bsky.social · 5d

Maybe this isn't a miscategorization. Maybe Tubi found a bunch of director's cuts with insane twists at the end.

A selection of movies available on Tubi, bafflingly categorized as "Dia de Los Muertos", including Baby Boom, This is Us, A Walk to Remember, Moonstruck, and A Home of Our Own

Jasper J. Jaspers @jaspers47.bsky.social · 6d

Like Tone-Loc and Spin Doctors, they had two hits, but released in such quick succession, they may as well have been one

Jasper J. Jaspers @jaspers47.bsky.social · 6d

I've been getting ToiletPaper USA ads, and because they paid for the privilege, Youtube won't let you refuse to see them.

Jasper J. Jaspers @jaspers47.bsky.social · 7d

But San Diego isn't playing tonight

Jasper J. Jaspers @jaspers47.bsky.social · 7d

Finally, I've seen Welcome to Night Vale live. Better late than never.

Jasper J. Jaspers @jaspers47.bsky.social · 7d

I see Prime Day was successful

Jasper J. Jaspers @jaspers47.bsky.social · 7d

This is why I dropped my annual watchlist to 16.

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