Jarrod Baker
@jarrodbaker.bsky.social
760 followers 470 following 2.6K posts
lapsed comedian | voice actor | pākehā | trying to be better | good in bread | overalls enthusiast
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jarrodbaker.bsky.social
isn’t this what Sam Altman is doing
docseuss.bsky.social
lets say a wizard has cursed you with a lot of money. you are going to become permanently brain damaged simply by being in possession of so much money. the only way out of it is to spend a lot of money on something ridiculous and not at all useful

what would you buy to break the curse?
jarrodbaker.bsky.social
I maintain he’s a vastly better songwriter than he is a singer
Reposted by Jarrod Baker
jarrodbaker.bsky.social
can’t wait until this rolls out to LG and Samsung so I can finally fulfil my dream of seducing a smart fridge
jarrodbaker.bsky.social
people are clowning on this but personally I agree with Sam Altman that more household appliances should be sexually available
jarrodbaker.bsky.social
can’t wait for laptop configurators to include a “Fleshlight” I/O option
Reposted by Jarrod Baker
internethippo.bsky.social
The entire economy depends on this horseshit so it's your patriotic duty to ask the computer to honk your bingus several times a day
jarrodbaker.bsky.social
some people were thankful for the benevolence of Foodstuffs South Island and their owner-operators, who they say truly have Rolleston’s best interests at heart. others fear the stick man and his yellow edifice, wary that his promised savings may come at an unexpected and brutal cost
jarrodbaker.bsky.social
do we need a Metacritic for supermarkets. I guess a supermarket Rotten Tomatoes would be too on the nose
jarrodbaker.bsky.social
goddamnit now I have the theme song as an earworm
dylanreeve.com
Share a cartoon from the past that kids today probably never heard of.
Top Cat screenshot
Reposted by Jarrod Baker
evilcleverdog.bsky.social
Using ChatGPT
edithcharles.bsky.social
What's something that isn't considered embarrassing but you think it should be?
jarrodbaker.bsky.social
I thought it looked like they had a nice time and her band is fucking tight. Would have been interesting to see it live!
jarrodbaker.bsky.social
can confirm that said teen is still regularly including Just Like Heaven on their playlists & I couldn’t be prouder
jarrodbaker.bsky.social
has anyone else’s Olivia Rodrigo-enjoying teen become interested in The Cure since she performed with Robert Smith? it’s fucking great
jarrodbaker.bsky.social
agreed. and maybe as a little treat we could burn some of the bad ones. I hear that always goes well
jarrodbaker.bsky.social
there are too many books. why are there so many books
rachelfeder.bsky.social
Tell me your most unhinged literary opinion, as a little treat
jarrodbaker.bsky.social
anyway I’m yet to meet a Rolex that doesn’t give “I’m a legitimate businessman, officer”
jarrodbaker.bsky.social
if I had fancy watch money I’d go for something like this vintage Omega Seamaster. only ~$2K though and not in gold so probably less appealing as a status symbol
A 1960s Omega Seamaster in stainless steel
jarrodbaker.bsky.social
personally I think that’s a fucking ugly watch but what do I know, I’m not a failed mayoral candidate
jarrodbaker.bsky.social
was anyone else curious what a $90,000 Rolex looked like? well: www.partridgejewellers.com/rolex-cosmog...
It’s a Rolex Cosmograph Daytona, which Partridge Jewellers sell for $90,200
jarrodbaker.bsky.social
and the same thing would be totally fine here - having a paid sausage sizzle near a voting place is entirely unproblematic if it isn’t obstructing voters
jarrodbaker.bsky.social
one persistent misconception I see on here is the idea that ‘democracy sausages’ are a little reward Australians are given for voting. not so! they’re usually a fundraiser, often for the organisation hosting the voting place. they’re a little reward Australians buy themselves for voting!
jarrodbaker.bsky.social
I cannot endorse all of your choices but I do endorse the fact that you made them
jarrodbaker.bsky.social
damn, Pōneke, you actually did the thing! best turnout in 4 elections and that’s without specials. will we get to 50%?
jarrodbaker.bsky.social
in this metaphor I am playing the role of Sandra Bullock. Keanu Reeves on the other hand is absent (he’s off being Estragon)