Author | Lightnews

The Halfway Post

@halfwaypost.bsky.social

3.4K followers 520 following 2.1K posts

Graffiti news. Halfway true comedy and satire by Dash MacIntyre—I don't report the facts, I improve them. Comedy is cathartic in fascist eras such as ours. Check out my Linktree: https://linktr.ee/dashmacintyre

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The Halfway Post @halfwaypost.bsky.social · 2h

BREAKING: After finding out that the East Wing's demolition is likely flinging asbestos all over the White House grounds, Trump is reportedly trying to sue someone but can't because he started the construction job without any of the proper, legal permissions.

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The Halfway Post @halfwaypost.bsky.social · 6h

BREAKING: The National Parks Service says that America's historic preservation laws "make it very clear" Donald Trump will now have to rebuild the White House's East Wing exactly the way it was at personal expense.

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The Halfway Post @halfwaypost.bsky.social · 7h

BREAKING: Donald Trump is reportedly looking for an artist to paint the ceiling of his new White House ballroom with 47 images of himself.

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The Halfway Post @halfwaypost.bsky.social · 8h

BREAKING: Donald Trump reportedly wants to demolish the Lincoln Memorial for his new "Arc de Trump" because Lincoln "only stopped one war" whereas he claims he has stopped 8.

The Halfway Post @halfwaypost.bsky.social · 18h

BREAKING: Trump’s pooping-on-protesters video went so viral that AI models are reportedly now including diarrhea in every prompted video of Donald Trump.

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The Halfway Post @halfwaypost.bsky.social · 22h

BREAKING: Donald Trump is reportedly furious that so many people are calling the government shutdown the “Epstein shutdown.”

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The Halfway Post @halfwaypost.bsky.social · 1d

BREAKING: A local MAGA fan is reportedly starting to wonder why, if the Epstein Files exonerate Trump from all allegations of sex trafficking, Trump won't have the House of Representatives or DOJ release them.

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The Halfway Post @halfwaypost.bsky.social · 1d

BREAKING: Protesters reportedly threw dozens of frogs over the fence onto the White House lawn today because the frog has become a symbol of fascist resistance.

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The Halfway Post @halfwaypost.bsky.social · 1d

Serious Thoughts From A Satirist

7 thoughts on politics, 4 free for everyone, 3 more for paid subscribers!

thehalfwaycafe.substack.com

The Halfway Post @halfwaypost.bsky.social · 1d

BREAKING: A suspicious amount of Trump's bailout money for Argentina is reportedly intended for blonde haired, blue-eyed Argentines of German ancestry.

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The Halfway Post @halfwaypost.bsky.social · 1d

No one is more terrified of all these No Kings inflatable frog costumes than Alex Jones.

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The Halfway Post @halfwaypost.bsky.social · 1d

BREAKING: Next Saturday hundreds of protesters wearing frog costumes are planning to hang out all day at the White House Ellipse for hours to troll Trump.

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The Halfway Post @halfwaypost.bsky.social · 1d

BREAKING: Donald Trump is demanding stores stop selling frog costumes.

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The Halfway Post @halfwaypost.bsky.social · 2d

BREAKING: A forklift operator accidentally knocked over a row of porta-potties at the construction site of Trump's new ballroom so now the entire White House smells like poop.

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The Halfway Post @halfwaypost.bsky.social · 2d

BREAKING: Foreign ambassadors from all around the world are struggling to explain to their governments why Donald Trump would post a video of himself spraying diarrhea all over his own constituents.

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The Halfway Post @halfwaypost.bsky.social · 2d

BREAKING: White House staffers say Donald Trump spent all day today demanding AI videos of himself pooping on everyone he could think of that he hated.

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The Halfway Post @halfwaypost.bsky.social · 3d

BREAKING: Three more national magazines are using photos of Donald Trump with prominent views of his neck vagina for their covers this coming week.

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The Halfway Post @halfwaypost.bsky.social · 3d

BREAKING: Donald Trump is reportedly pissed because his AI video of dropping feces on the No Kings protesters backfired, and is once again making #TrumpSmellsLikeShit trend on all the social media platforms.

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The Halfway Post @halfwaypost.bsky.social · 3d

BREAKING: Donald Trump reportedly spent all day rage-watching coverage of the No Kings rallies.

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The Halfway Post @halfwaypost.bsky.social · 3d

BREAKING: China, North Korea, and Russia reportedly removed all internet censorship today so their citizens could see the epic protests against Trump.

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The Halfway Post @halfwaypost.bsky.social · 6d

A journalist should ask Trump if he thinks Epstein went to Heaven.

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The Halfway Post @halfwaypost.bsky.social · 7d

BREAKING: A new poll found that just 3% of Americans are surprised the nations’s College Republicans groups are filled with self-proclaimed Nazis.

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The Halfway Post @halfwaypost.bsky.social · 8d

Is America great yet??

Hospitals Are Giving MAGA Hats To Everyone Who Loses Their Health Insurance

This week's graffiti news headlines!

thehalfwaycafe.substack.com

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The Halfway Post @halfwaypost.bsky.social · 8d

BREAKING: Staffers at the White House say Donald Trump is making everyone promise to nominate him for a posthumous Nobel Peace Prize next year in case he dies.

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The Halfway Post @halfwaypost.bsky.social · 9d

BREAKING: Protesters are again parading in front of the White House in Satan costumes following Trump’s repeated musings that he won’t get into Heaven.

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