Larabella Dynamite
@glaiveguisarme.com
Larabella Paige Turner, the original Glaive-Guisarmier. Library worker, hot mom, LGBTQTπ, semi-retired RPG dev, 'tism rizz out the wazoo. She/her.
pfp by @lubchansky.bsky.social
pfp by @lubchansky.bsky.social
Whoa, I JUST realized that the exact moment I came out as queer, the number of people I'd had sex with in my life just about doubled, because some shit that I previously would have dismissed as "not REALLY sex" suddenly retroactively counted.
Like. It doesn't fukkin' matter, obvi, but it's neat!
Like. It doesn't fukkin' matter, obvi, but it's neat!
November 26, 2025 at 6:55 AM
Whoa, I JUST realized that the exact moment I came out as queer, the number of people I'd had sex with in my life just about doubled, because some shit that I previously would have dismissed as "not REALLY sex" suddenly retroactively counted.
Like. It doesn't fukkin' matter, obvi, but it's neat!
Like. It doesn't fukkin' matter, obvi, but it's neat!
"In place of a Dark Lord, you would have a queen! Not dark, but beautiful and terrible as the dawn! Treacherous as the sea! Stronger than the foundations of the earth! All shall love me, and despair!"
-me when a co-worker nominates me for a position as union steward.
-me when a co-worker nominates me for a position as union steward.
November 26, 2025 at 5:05 AM
"In place of a Dark Lord, you would have a queen! Not dark, but beautiful and terrible as the dawn! Treacherous as the sea! Stronger than the foundations of the earth! All shall love me, and despair!"
-me when a co-worker nominates me for a position as union steward.
-me when a co-worker nominates me for a position as union steward.
My entire polycule has agreed that from now on, we're only going to eat flat bread cooked in a tandoor.
That's right, we're engaging in some consensual naan-monogamy.
That's right, we're engaging in some consensual naan-monogamy.
November 23, 2025 at 4:18 PM
My entire polycule has agreed that from now on, we're only going to eat flat bread cooked in a tandoor.
That's right, we're engaging in some consensual naan-monogamy.
That's right, we're engaging in some consensual naan-monogamy.
Just because game night got cancelled doesn’t mean I can’t demand compliments on the pretty dress I got today.
(The glaive is there to ensure compliance.)
(The glaive is there to ensure compliance.)
November 23, 2025 at 1:57 AM
Just because game night got cancelled doesn’t mean I can’t demand compliments on the pretty dress I got today.
(The glaive is there to ensure compliance.)
(The glaive is there to ensure compliance.)
Reposted by Larabella Dynamite
I was having lunch with a friend in Berlin when she said, "Every woman deserves a ho era." And I laughed and said "Honestly, a lifetime." And then she said, "An epoch."
Anyhow, that kinda made me feel a way, so I went home and wrote a 200-word rpg about it.
witcheslovingwitches.itch.io/ho-epoque
Anyhow, that kinda made me feel a way, so I went home and wrote a 200-word rpg about it.
witcheslovingwitches.itch.io/ho-epoque
November 20, 2025 at 11:22 PM
I was having lunch with a friend in Berlin when she said, "Every woman deserves a ho era." And I laughed and said "Honestly, a lifetime." And then she said, "An epoch."
Anyhow, that kinda made me feel a way, so I went home and wrote a 200-word rpg about it.
witcheslovingwitches.itch.io/ho-epoque
Anyhow, that kinda made me feel a way, so I went home and wrote a 200-word rpg about it.
witcheslovingwitches.itch.io/ho-epoque
It’s the Trans Day of Remembrance. So we say a little prayer to St. Rat, because we know she’s listening, no matter how much they try to silence us.
Is it silly to light a candle to a mosaic rat? Perhaps. And yet. We do what we must to keep fighting.
Is it silly to light a candle to a mosaic rat? Perhaps. And yet. We do what we must to keep fighting.
November 20, 2025 at 6:59 PM
It’s the Trans Day of Remembrance. So we say a little prayer to St. Rat, because we know she’s listening, no matter how much they try to silence us.
Is it silly to light a candle to a mosaic rat? Perhaps. And yet. We do what we must to keep fighting.
Is it silly to light a candle to a mosaic rat? Perhaps. And yet. We do what we must to keep fighting.
I read a lot of books, but I don’t often get the feeling of just falling IN LOVE with a book from page one.
Of Monsters and Mainframes, by Barbara Truelove, is so utterly my shit. I am only halfway through but I know I am going to need to buy a copy next time I visit a bookstore.
Of Monsters and Mainframes, by Barbara Truelove, is so utterly my shit. I am only halfway through but I know I am going to need to buy a copy next time I visit a bookstore.
November 18, 2025 at 5:57 PM
I read a lot of books, but I don’t often get the feeling of just falling IN LOVE with a book from page one.
Of Monsters and Mainframes, by Barbara Truelove, is so utterly my shit. I am only halfway through but I know I am going to need to buy a copy next time I visit a bookstore.
Of Monsters and Mainframes, by Barbara Truelove, is so utterly my shit. I am only halfway through but I know I am going to need to buy a copy next time I visit a bookstore.
My new favorite thing is sweeping out of the bedroom in pants and a T-shirt, exclaiming “Look how BUTCH I am today!” and receiving a withering stare from my partner who is just trying to have breakfast.
November 11, 2025 at 5:11 PM
My new favorite thing is sweeping out of the bedroom in pants and a T-shirt, exclaiming “Look how BUTCH I am today!” and receiving a withering stare from my partner who is just trying to have breakfast.
Someone grab a type C extinguisher, because I’m an electric/fire.
November 7, 2025 at 3:58 PM
Someone grab a type C extinguisher, because I’m an electric/fire.
Standing at the bus stop, watching the “estimated time of arrival” for the next bus slowly climb UP as time passes. Real Kafka shit.
November 7, 2025 at 3:54 PM
Standing at the bus stop, watching the “estimated time of arrival” for the next bus slowly climb UP as time passes. Real Kafka shit.
Oldest selfie on your phone.
2018; tellingly, there are virtually no selfies pre-transition that aren’t also pointing at someone else (e.g.: ratties!).
…who the fuck IS this guy? Did he have any idea how much his life was going to improve?
2018; tellingly, there are virtually no selfies pre-transition that aren’t also pointing at someone else (e.g.: ratties!).
…who the fuck IS this guy? Did he have any idea how much his life was going to improve?
November 5, 2025 at 4:43 PM
Oldest selfie on your phone.
2018; tellingly, there are virtually no selfies pre-transition that aren’t also pointing at someone else (e.g.: ratties!).
…who the fuck IS this guy? Did he have any idea how much his life was going to improve?
2018; tellingly, there are virtually no selfies pre-transition that aren’t also pointing at someone else (e.g.: ratties!).
…who the fuck IS this guy? Did he have any idea how much his life was going to improve?
I put a sticker of St Rat on the back of my helmet to protect me from concussions. But she’s also guiding my wheels: I passed the Jet City Roller Derby pilot program, and am qualified to start training in CONTACT skills next year!
November 4, 2025 at 1:48 AM
I put a sticker of St Rat on the back of my helmet to protect me from concussions. But she’s also guiding my wheels: I passed the Jet City Roller Derby pilot program, and am qualified to start training in CONTACT skills next year!
“I really thought the leopards would stop eating my face so much after the first dozen or so times they ate my face!”
For fuck’s sake.
For fuck’s sake.
November 1, 2025 at 6:28 PM
“I really thought the leopards would stop eating my face so much after the first dozen or so times they ate my face!”
For fuck’s sake.
For fuck’s sake.
Well pardner, I din’t choose the cowgirl life, nor did the cowgirl life stric’ly speakin’ choose me. These’re jus’ the duds I happened ta throw on this mornin’.
[WILD HONKY-TONK DANCE BREAK]
[WILD HONKY-TONK DANCE BREAK]
October 30, 2025 at 5:08 PM
Well pardner, I din’t choose the cowgirl life, nor did the cowgirl life stric’ly speakin’ choose me. These’re jus’ the duds I happened ta throw on this mornin’.
[WILD HONKY-TONK DANCE BREAK]
[WILD HONKY-TONK DANCE BREAK]
My most vital skill as a bisexual is politely explaining to lesbians when a man is handsome.
October 28, 2025 at 4:55 PM
My most vital skill as a bisexual is politely explaining to lesbians when a man is handsome.
Occasionally, I have referred to myself as "Larabella." Just as a way to fancy up my name a little bit, put a little zhuzh on it. But sometimes when I do so, I think "hm. I wish I had actually changed my name to Larabella, and used 'Lara' as a short form."
JUST realized I can fukkin' DO that.
JUST realized I can fukkin' DO that.
October 28, 2025 at 6:06 AM
Occasionally, I have referred to myself as "Larabella." Just as a way to fancy up my name a little bit, put a little zhuzh on it. But sometimes when I do so, I think "hm. I wish I had actually changed my name to Larabella, and used 'Lara' as a short form."
JUST realized I can fukkin' DO that.
JUST realized I can fukkin' DO that.
By popular demand, the outfit I actually wore to the club. It was a nightmare circus clown rave. I got a balloon sword which I later lost in some misadventure.
Clubbing is awesome.
Clubbing is awesome.
October 26, 2025 at 4:20 PM
By popular demand, the outfit I actually wore to the club. It was a nightmare circus clown rave. I got a balloon sword which I later lost in some misadventure.
Clubbing is awesome.
Clubbing is awesome.
For what it’s worth, this was the outfit that I DIDN’T take clubbing, so you can only imagine the one that did because [cartoon wolf noises].
October 26, 2025 at 1:07 AM
For what it’s worth, this was the outfit that I DIDN’T take clubbing, so you can only imagine the one that did because [cartoon wolf noises].
Never ask a woman her age,
a man his salary,
or Lara how many copies of All Systems Red by Martha Wells she owns.
a man his salary,
or Lara how many copies of All Systems Red by Martha Wells she owns.
October 20, 2025 at 12:56 AM
Never ask a woman her age,
a man his salary,
or Lara how many copies of All Systems Red by Martha Wells she owns.
a man his salary,
or Lara how many copies of All Systems Red by Martha Wells she owns.
Workin' on potential Derby Names:
Estradiol Valerie
Velma Deadly
Ms Terri Incorporated
Lizzie Boardin’
Hella Bella
Dommie Darko
Lara Croft Tomb Skater
Jenny Dysphoria
Kathryn Painway
Microsoft Power Bi
Infinite Jess
Ada Hatelace
Larabella Dynamite
Bash Crandicoot
Victoria Deck'em
Harriet DuBois
Estradiol Valerie
Velma Deadly
Ms Terri Incorporated
Lizzie Boardin’
Hella Bella
Dommie Darko
Lara Croft Tomb Skater
Jenny Dysphoria
Kathryn Painway
Microsoft Power Bi
Infinite Jess
Ada Hatelace
Larabella Dynamite
Bash Crandicoot
Victoria Deck'em
Harriet DuBois
October 19, 2025 at 1:49 AM
Workin' on potential Derby Names:
Estradiol Valerie
Velma Deadly
Ms Terri Incorporated
Lizzie Boardin’
Hella Bella
Dommie Darko
Lara Croft Tomb Skater
Jenny Dysphoria
Kathryn Painway
Microsoft Power Bi
Infinite Jess
Ada Hatelace
Larabella Dynamite
Bash Crandicoot
Victoria Deck'em
Harriet DuBois
Estradiol Valerie
Velma Deadly
Ms Terri Incorporated
Lizzie Boardin’
Hella Bella
Dommie Darko
Lara Croft Tomb Skater
Jenny Dysphoria
Kathryn Painway
Microsoft Power Bi
Infinite Jess
Ada Hatelace
Larabella Dynamite
Bash Crandicoot
Victoria Deck'em
Harriet DuBois
Photos taken almost six years apart.
Are these the same person? Like, there's a resemblance but increasingly he looks like, I don't know, a secret brother or something.
Anyway. Happy Coming Out Day. It's the best thing I ever did.
Are these the same person? Like, there's a resemblance but increasingly he looks like, I don't know, a secret brother or something.
Anyway. Happy Coming Out Day. It's the best thing I ever did.
October 11, 2025 at 10:35 PM
Photos taken almost six years apart.
Are these the same person? Like, there's a resemblance but increasingly he looks like, I don't know, a secret brother or something.
Anyway. Happy Coming Out Day. It's the best thing I ever did.
Are these the same person? Like, there's a resemblance but increasingly he looks like, I don't know, a secret brother or something.
Anyway. Happy Coming Out Day. It's the best thing I ever did.
My favorite part was when Ares said “it’s morbin’ tron!” and morbed all over those programs.
October 11, 2025 at 6:31 PM
My favorite part was when Ares said “it’s morbin’ tron!” and morbed all over those programs.
Fredrik Backman? I LOVE his Turner Overdrive!
October 10, 2025 at 8:20 PM
Fredrik Backman? I LOVE his Turner Overdrive!
Welp, yesterday at work I got loudly misgendered by a child, was warned that my stalker will be returning soon, and sent an angry email to my boss that I haven't heard back on yet, so I gotta admit there is a certain allure to calling out sick today.
I won't, because I have my pride. But oof.
I won't, because I have my pride. But oof.
October 9, 2025 at 2:38 PM
Welp, yesterday at work I got loudly misgendered by a child, was warned that my stalker will be returning soon, and sent an angry email to my boss that I haven't heard back on yet, so I gotta admit there is a certain allure to calling out sick today.
I won't, because I have my pride. But oof.
I won't, because I have my pride. But oof.