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Thumper Forge @fivefoldlaw.bsky.social · 2d

Serial Killers: [murder people]

Ryan Murphy: "Okay, but what if they were just misunderstood and also hot?"

Netflix: "GREENLIT."

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Thumper Forge @fivefoldlaw.bsky.social · 4d

So far, I've had to explain that wristbands, armbands, Sam Browne belts, harnesses, and jockstraps are not tension restraints. I remain hopeful that he will eventually believe me.

2/2

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Thumper Forge @fivefoldlaw.bsky.social · 4d

A customer asked for tension restraints. I found him a pair of tension restraints. And now he is picking up literally every other piece of leather in the store and going, "What about this? Is this a tension restraint?"

1/2

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Reposted by Thumper Forge

Fantascope @fantascope.bsky.social · 5d

"Like, we're watching folk horror, but also, you are the folk horror"

New motto -

"Be the folk horror you wish to see in the world".

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Thumper Forge @fivefoldlaw.bsky.social · 5d

A fun little article I wrote about counteracting WitchTok drama with Chaos Magic. Because sometimes we watch folk horror, and sometimes we are folk horror. 😈

Dumpster Fired: A Chaos Witch Bottle

Some witches will swear that the very first thing a new witch must learn is protection magic. While he believes that new witches must first focus on grounding and centering, The ...

www.llewellyn.com

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Reposted by Thumper Forge

Solitary Witch Books @witchbooks.bsky.social · 5d

New BOOKS available in your favorite local bookstore (physical & online) by our own @seekingnumina.bsky.social @fivefoldlaw.bsky.social & @mawiyahkai.bsky.social 🖤
All 📚 by @llewellynbooks.bsky.social 🌙

#Booksforwitches #WitchyBooks #esotericbooks #Booksky #Witchsky #Occultsky

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Thumper Forge @fivefoldlaw.bsky.social · 7d

Me, five years ago: "My dad's cool with me being gay and recovering from alcoholism, but I feel like telling him I'm Pagan might push him over the edge."

My dad, today: "DO *NOT* GIVE AWAY COPIES OF YOUR WITCHCRAFT BOOK. MAKE PEOPLE PAY FOR THEM."

So... I was correct. The edge was just capitalism.

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Thumper Forge @fivefoldlaw.bsky.social · 7d

Dude who almost ran over a lady in the parking lot of the grocery store just cut in front of me at self checkout.

He really did pick a singular personality trait and commit to it, and I have to admire him for that.

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Reposted by Thumper Forge

Race Bannon @racebannon.bsky.social · 7d

Did you know that if you get your books from @bookshop.org they give part of the proceeds to support independent bookstores?

bookshop.org/shop/raceban...

Race Bannon Bookshop

As an author myself, and a prolific writer of newsletters and articles in which I often recommend books, I want to point readers to a bookselling site that empowers bookstores and the publishing indus...

bookshop.org

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Thumper Forge @fivefoldlaw.bsky.social · 7d

The apple on the spine has a lil' leaf. I am obsessed with the lil' leaf.

#TheChaosApple #DiscordianWitchcraft

The spine of the book THE CHAOS APPLE, which features a tiny golden apple with a green leaf on its stem.

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Thumper Forge @fivefoldlaw.bsky.social · 7d

The Chaos Apple: Magic & Discordianism for the Postmodern Witch

Magic & Discordianism for the Postmodern Witch

bookshop.org

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Thumper Forge @fivefoldlaw.bsky.social · 7d

LOOK WHAT OFFICIALLY EXISTS. Splattering onto shelves November 8, currently available for pre-order. (Link in the comments.) 🎉 #TheChaosApple #DiscordianWitchcraft

A bearded person wearing a black kufi with thin gold stripes and a blue-and-white checkered button-down shirt holds up a copy of the book THE CHAOS APPLE: MAGIC AND DISCORDIANISM FOR THE POSTMODERN WITCH.

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Thumper Forge @fivefoldlaw.bsky.social · 8d

"Chaos is SO HOT right now! Your son hit the jackpot."

-My extremely Christian cousin, after my dad told her I wrote a book on witchcraft and Discordianism.

I fear I may have misjudged my extended family.

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Thumper Forge @fivefoldlaw.bsky.social · 19d

[the phone rings]

Me: "Good afternoon, thanks for calling [name of spicy shop]."

Telemarketer: "Hello!"

[long pause]

Me: "Hi, this is [name of spicy shop]."

Telemarketer: "... No. This is Mike."

I've gotta be honest, Mike. We're not off to a great start.

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Thumper Forge @fivefoldlaw.bsky.social · 21d

Me: "I was petty and passive-aggressive in a TikTok post, and now I'm worried about repercussions."

Employee: "Just do what I do and don't care."

Which is... really good advice tbh.

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Reposted by Thumper Forge

Michael M. Hughes @michaelmhughes.bsky.social · 23d

The best rapture moment ever. From one of my favorite TV shows, HBO’s Six Feet Under. Only a minute, but unforgettable—do yourself a favor and watch.

Six Feet Under "Rapture Death". (4K AI Upscale)

YouTube video by NewbieCanada

youtu.be

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Thumper Forge @fivefoldlaw.bsky.social · 23d

Very good point. Thank you!

1

Thumper Forge @fivefoldlaw.bsky.social · 23d

The directions on the side of the Tylenol package say to take two caplets every 4-6 hours.

I take three.

My autism powers increase exponentially.

I unleash a vocal stim that shatters every window in a five-block radius.

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Thumper Forge @fivefoldlaw.bsky.social · 24d

You know what would be awesome? If every service worker in the US pulled a no call, no show on Tuesday.

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Thumper Forge @fivefoldlaw.bsky.social · 25d

I relate to this so hard.

Thumper Forge @fivefoldlaw.bsky.social · 25d

I do not know what happened in the spicy shop restroom, but it smells *amazing* in there.

I'm just going to accept it and not ask questions.

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Thumper Forge @fivefoldlaw.bsky.social · 25d

A customer is going along a wall of products, holding each item up individually, asking for my take on it, then vociferously disagreeing with whatever I say.

He's halfway done, though, so only 224 objections to go!

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Reposted by Thumper Forge

Stone Cold Jane Austen @abbyhiggs.bsky.social · 26d

“Ass, grass, or gas?” I ask on my overnight shift at the ass, grass, or gas station.

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Thumper Forge @fivefoldlaw.bsky.social · 26d

Me: [coughs]

Customer: "TURN YOUR HEAD AND COUGH."

Me: [blank smile]

Customer: [maniacal laughter]

No clue, y'all. No clue.

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Thumper Forge @fivefoldlaw.bsky.social · 27d

I chose the higher ground. 😇

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