Author | Lightnews

Divyaswor Makai

@divyaswor.bsky.social

30K followers 80K following 6.6K posts

Full stack developer. Dad jokes. Remote work is the future. OPEN TO COLLABORATE. I am not that active anywhere, but you can still check out my profiles. https://www.divyaswormakai.com Most of the posts are jokes.

www.divyaswormakai.com

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Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · Dec 19

Just merged a Nepali translation to Bluesky app with @anku.bsky.social :

github.com/bluesky-soci...

Nepali Translation (divyaswormakai's reviewed & some changes) by whoisanku · Pull Request #7033 · bluesky-social/social-app

I looked over the PR #6943 from @divyaswormakai , looks good on his side most of the things but added some additional changes to make it better on language side.

github.com

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Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · Jan 21

What do you call a small mother?

A minimum.

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Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · Jan 21

What do Kermit the Frog, John the Baptist, and Vlad the Impaler have in common?

Same middle name.

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Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · Jan 21

What's the difference between a politician and a pig?

They're spelled different.

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Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · Jan 21

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 was odd.

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Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · Jan 21

Why would a future pornstar end up being on the cover of her high school yearbook?

She was voted Most Likely To Suck Seed

Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · Jan 21

Why do Catholics smell so good?

Because of all the popery.

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Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · Jan 21

My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does,

please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

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Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · Jan 21

Orion's Belt isn't all that great.

It's just a huge waist of space.

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Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · Jan 21

I used to have a stepladder at my job, but it disappeared.

Just like my real ladder.

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Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · Jan 21

Have you guys heard the latest scandal that Musk misappropriated Tesla funds to pay for penis enlargement surgery?

The press is calling it Elongate.

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Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · Jan 21

In communist China, government tell you what can and can't say.

In capitalist America, government decide what corporation tell you what you can and can't say.

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Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · Jan 21

My boss calls me a “the computer”

because I fall asleep when unattended after 15 minutes.

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Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · Jan 21

Why is Dwayne Johnson the only man who can turn lesbians?

Because Rock beats scissors

Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · Jan 21

Why does America not use the metric system?

Because they have a foot fetish.

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Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · Jan 21

So a pasta salesman walks up to a pimp and tries to trade product for sex. He says...

"Penne for your thots?"

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Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · Jan 21

When I was interviewed for a job, I was told I would start at $2,000 a month, and then after six months, I’d get $2,500 a month.

I told her I would start in six months.

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Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · Jan 20

Me and another cook were in a heated debate about how our new salad should be presented.

We got fired for chopping it up.

Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · Jan 20

I asked my friend why he only wore his N95 in church.

He said that his doctor had told him to wear his mask religiously.

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Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · Jan 20

How did the burglar enter the house?

He got intruda-window.

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Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · Jan 20

My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. I said…

That would be a big step forward.

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Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · Jan 20

I used to confuse orgasm and organic.

But now the difference comes naturally.

Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · Jan 20

Relationships are like algebra.

Sometimes I’ll look at the X and wonder Y.

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Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · Jan 20

What has ears but never listens?

A corn field…….

Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · Jan 20

The government decided to phase out coins in our currency today.

This country just has no cents anymore.

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Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · Jan 20

My doctor told me to put an end to drinking brake fluid

I told him I can stop anytime

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