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Crotchy_The_Conjurer @crotchytheconjurer.bsky.social · Nov 14

Anyone seen my Son Uppie? He is about half the size of 6’6 man and has brown hair and is wearing clothes. #Crotchytheconjurer #Uppie #Missingperson #magic #wizard #spellcasting

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Crotchy_The_Conjurer @crotchytheconjurer.bsky.social · Nov 13

Cheese cake recipe

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Crotchy_The_Conjurer @crotchytheconjurer.bsky.social · Nov 12

Yeah… also did you steal my magic gnome penises?

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Crotchy_The_Conjurer @crotchytheconjurer.bsky.social · Nov 12

Bees churger

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Crotchy_The_Conjurer @crotchytheconjurer.bsky.social · Nov 12

Someone just sent me this image of me cursing that bitch Bethany at #McDonalds I must say I look mighty Thick today with my belly rolls. #Crotchytheconjurer #mage #Curses #wizard #Magic #forbidden #Spells #Thecursethatmakesfatchicksgocrazy #MILF #BONELESS

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Crotchy_The_Conjurer @crotchytheconjurer.bsky.social · Nov 12

Anyone know the incantation for the spell that summons beautiful Taiwanese women looking for visas?
#Crotchytheconjurer #Spell #magic #incantation #blackmagic #wizard #Relationship #Singlebutmarried #Taiwan #Ladyboys #ASAP #Forbiddenspell #Visa #Aidscrisis

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Crotchy_The_Conjurer @crotchytheconjurer.bsky.social · Nov 12

Great Conference last night done some pixie dust with a good pal of mine @audibun.bsky.social who is not only skilful in the art of Botany but also a great supplier of pixie dust. #crotchytheconjurer #pixiedust #magic #wizard #Conference #spells #Botany #darkmagic #Drugs #ThebestWizard #Mastermagic

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Crotchy_The_Conjurer @crotchytheconjurer.bsky.social · Nov 11

Currently in a conference for all the Wizards in North America with Vermin supreme as a guest speaker. #Crotchytheconjurer #Wizard #magic #Conference #Verminsupreme #spells

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Crotchy_The_Conjurer @crotchytheconjurer.bsky.social · Nov 10

I increased my meat

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Crotchy_The_Conjurer @crotchytheconjurer.bsky.social · Nov 10

Got some potions brewed up if anyone needs some be warned I don’t label shit so it’s a gamble. Im pretty sure I have a potion to cure cancer and maybe one that can give you erectile dysfunction. Im at the Miles Marker, 263 Florida Orlando. #crotchytheconjurer #Magic #potions #wizard #Florida (pic)

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Crotchy_The_Conjurer @crotchytheconjurer.bsky.social · Nov 9

You need any dwarves #crotchytheconjurer #wizard #dwarves #magic

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Crotchy_The_Conjurer @crotchytheconjurer.bsky.social · Nov 9

Family picture of me, my fat fucking pregnant wife Elaine the witch and Uppie. #Crotchytheconjurer #magic #family #wizard #Witch #pregnant #familypicture

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Crotchy_The_Conjurer @crotchytheconjurer.bsky.social · Nov 9

Sorry I didn’t post yesterday I was in another dimension fighting a gnome named Nimble-finger Mcgregor. That bitch stole my magical bag of Wizard Weed then I got detained by Dimensional security. (Pic of me being detained) #crotchytheconjurer #Dimensionalsecurity #Wizardweed #FuckGnomes #magic

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Crotchy_The_Conjurer @crotchytheconjurer.bsky.social · Nov 7

Just found this sick fucking shirt in a bathroom stall in a Gas station near my lair. If it’s yours you are not getting it back it now has my smelly water funk to it. #crotchytheconjurer #wizard #freeshirt #Crotchyforpresident2029 #magic #singleandreadytomakesomesweetsweetdwarvenlovetooldladies

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Crotchy_The_Conjurer @crotchytheconjurer.bsky.social · Nov 7

Just found out that apparently Costco don’t accept Dwarves as payment I mean what has this economy become if an upstanding wizard like myself can’t pay for 20 boxes of Cheese balls with three strong Dwarves. CURSE YOU US ECONMY!!!! #Crotchytheconjurer #Costco #Magic #DwarvenSlaves

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Crotchy_The_Conjurer @crotchytheconjurer.bsky.social · Nov 7

Bout to destroy the #Gastationbathroom toilet by blowing mud out my third eye (I have sever diarrhoea after drinking a funky potion I got from my friend Glen the glitter man) #crotchytheconjurer #magic #diarrhoea #Glentheglitterman #Wizardshits #wizard

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Crotchy_The_Conjurer @crotchytheconjurer.bsky.social · Nov 7

For three Dabloons I can get you some Wizard Weed from my good old friend Victor the green #crotchytheconjurer #magic #WizardWeed #Gasstationbathroom #CallVictor

Crotchy_The_Conjurer @crotchytheconjurer.bsky.social · Nov 7

Just little cheeky pic before I transcend time and become one with magic. #crotchytheconjurer #magic #wizardweed #wizard #gonnabecomegod

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Crotchy_The_Conjurer @crotchytheconjurer.bsky.social · Nov 7

Let my familiar go you fool! #crotchytheconjurer #wizard #Gasstation #magic #Familiar #freemyman #owl

Crotchy_The_Conjurer @crotchytheconjurer.bsky.social · Nov 7

After that magic battle I have finally secured the witch piss! Soon I will have my hands on the Wizard weed. #Crotchytheconjurer #magic #witch #wizardbattle #Witchpiss #Gasstation #Wizard #WizardWeed

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Crotchy_The_Conjurer @crotchytheconjurer.bsky.social · Nov 7

I WIN! #crotchytheconjurer #witchpiss #magicbattle #Winner #magic #witch

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Crotchy_The_Conjurer @crotchytheconjurer.bsky.social · Nov 7

Bout to burn this witch for her piss

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Crotchy_The_Conjurer @crotchytheconjurer.bsky.social · Nov 7

Oh are you talking about jerry? Yeah I spoke to him and said he needed me to obtain pee from the Bestbuy witch so currently in a battle with her right now (picture of me bout to burn that bitch for her pee)

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Crotchy_The_Conjurer @crotchytheconjurer.bsky.social · Nov 7

Anyone seen Dave the magical cheese wizard? He owes me 35 large. If anyone has seen him let me know. If you are reading this Dave I have taken your familiar Sponge and will be teaching him dark spells (Here is a pic of that fat fucking cat) #Crotchytheconjurer #wizard #Gasstationbathroom #magicspell

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Crotchy_The_Conjurer @crotchytheconjurer.bsky.social · Nov 6

Anyone know of any good spots to find Wizard weed? #crotchytheconjurer

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