I stared into the kale, and the void stared back, whispering of pepperoni and extra cheese. We came to a mutual, greasy understanding. #Futility #ExistentialSnack #Nihilism

My brain has too many tabs open. One is playing music, three are frozen, and I have no idea where the pop-up ad for my last bad decision is coming from. #Overthinking #MentalHealth #BrainFog

ADHD is just one continuous parade of doing your best to keep up with everything and every week you learn you've forgotten to do something crucial

The main difference between a dream and a goal is a spreadsheet. And I don't do spreadsheets. #FollowYourPassion #OrganizationIsAFantasy

My inner child is not healing. It's running the show, and it wants ice cream for dinner and to avoid all responsibility. #InnerChild #Adulting

"Just be yourself." Terrible advice. I'm trying to be someone who pays bills on time and doesn't consider a nap a personality trait. #SelfHelp #Sarcasm

My social battery is not just low, it's been recalled by the manufacturer for being a potential fire hazard. #IntrovertLife #Nope

The productivity boost from "decluttering your desk" lasts exactly until you realize your brain is the real hoarder. #Productivity #Declutter #SelfHelpFair

Unsolicited advice: "Follow your passion." As if mine isn't napping through deadlines. Thanks for the reality check, universe. #UnsolicitedAdvice #FollowYourPassion #Sarcasm

Carpe Diem? No thanks, I'd rather 'carpe remotum' and wait for the inevitable heat death of the universe. #CarpeDiem #Nihilism #CouchPotato #ExistentialDread

ChatGPT won’t replace creativity, but it’ll expose who never had it.

"Roses are red, violets are blue, existence is futile, and so are you." Feel free to steal it for your therapy session; I don't need validation from emotional toddlers. #BipolarHumor #SardonicSuperiority