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Count Binface
@countbinface.bsky.social
Space politician. Sane.
How Count Binface is ruining Labour leadership contenders’ fight to be PM
metro.co.uk
February 16, 2026 at 5:12 PM
Hello! If you like my stuff and you fancy supporting your friendly neighbourhood intergalactic space warrior, you can ping me the cost of three affordable croissants at www.ko-fi.com/countbinface, and/or you can get all my best new stuff at my Substack, countbinface.substack.com/subscribe?ut...
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www.ko-fi.com
February 16, 2026 at 10:35 AM
I'm back baby. Treat yourself to my substack for the bin-juiciest exclusives and the best take on Earth news in the omniverse! open.substack.com/pub/countbin...
The Bin is Back in Town
Keir is teetering on the edge. I'd be licking my lips, if I had any lips.
open.substack.com
February 13, 2026 at 7:21 PM
February 13, 2026 at 6:22 PM
Spurs have just asked my agent if I’m available till the end of the season.
February 10, 2026 at 10:20 PM
Reposted by Count Binface
BREAKING: The web domains andyforleader.co.uk, edforleader.co.uk and yvetteforleader.co.uk have all been registered this afternoon.
February 9, 2026 at 4:57 PM
It’s very good of Prince William to distance himself from his horrific uncle Andrew, while on a visit to hang out with journalist-murdering bastard Mohammed bin Salman. I
February 9, 2026 at 10:19 PM
Also Labour Party plotters…
February 9, 2026 at 8:57 PM
BREAKING: The web domains andyforleader.co.uk, edforleader.co.uk and yvetteforleader.co.uk have all been registered this afternoon.
February 9, 2026 at 4:57 PM
Friday night / Saturday morning
February 6, 2026 at 11:02 PM
Dear @zackpolanski.bsky.social, do you remember this?
February 5, 2026 at 2:32 PM
BREAKING: Peter Mandelson expresses remorse and vows to atone for past lies, by walking the Salt Path.
February 4, 2026 at 2:07 PM
The Conservative Party has defected to Reform.
January 26, 2026 at 6:18 PM
The capital of Greenland is called NuUK, so if anyone deserves it it’s Britain.
January 19, 2026 at 4:32 PM
No wonder those cowardly Reform defectors are too scared to go to the polls. I just had my best by-election result yet. Against bloody Kit Harington! I am binevitable. #Industry
January 19, 2026 at 4:22 PM
Does your planet have a CTRL ALT DELETE function? If so now might be a good time.
January 19, 2026 at 11:02 AM
Turnberry Golf Course to be officially renamed Shit Holes, until all American tariffs on the UK are removed. #voteBinface
January 17, 2026 at 9:13 PM
Worried about the next 12 months?
Fear not. I am delighted to present, in association with the mighty @dailystar, my predictions for 2026. And I think you might be pleasantly surprised… Happy new year! CB
January 5, 2026 at 4:26 PM
Cloaks and secrets. My kind of show. #TheTraitors
January 1, 2026 at 8:01 PM
Did anyone have ‘Count Binface has a more nuanced and sophisticated attitude to mask-wearing than Jon Stewart’ on their 2025 bingo card?
December 30, 2025 at 3:35 PM
Gandalf’s enjoying that Dyson Air Wrap he got for Christmas.
December 30, 2025 at 2:19 PM
All too easy. #thechase
December 29, 2025 at 7:04 PM
A Christmas gift from the Binfluencer Supreme: an intergalactic natter between me and @susiedentwords.bsky.social ! In a crowded field, it's my favourite pod episode yet - and I'm talking all podcasts in the universe. Join us here: podfollow.com/trash-talk-w... Merry Christmas! CB x
December 24, 2025 at 8:48 PM
HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVE!
Give your loved ones (including yourself) the ultimate gift for 2026: join Count Binface Lifts the Lid, the finest newsletter in the galaxy! countbinface.substack.com/p/a-space-al...
Subscribe today for a special glimpse into Christmas future… CB X
A Space Alien Came Travelling
Christmas Tidings to Earth from Sigma IX!
countbinface.substack.com
December 24, 2025 at 10:50 AM
What political gift would you like this Christmas? Send your letter to me (Santa's useless at this stuff) and I'll answer it on the next episode of my galactic podcast, Trash Talk!
December 12, 2025 at 6:06 PM