CleanupHitter
@cleanuphitter.com
Sports betting, Las Vegas gambling, history, Texas, the '80s. Wish I didn't drift so much into politics... but, well, you know, life today.
CleanupHitter1 on the (former) bird site.
CleanupHitter1 on the (former) bird site.
This current era is just an ongoing drunken game of Mad Libs but with the racism dial turned all the way up.
February 6, 2026 at 5:00 PM
This current era is just an ongoing drunken game of Mad Libs but with the racism dial turned all the way up.
A Waymo recently politely gave me a gap to merge at one of my city's more frustrating rush-hour intersections. And so I say, "Thank you Filipino guy, you are way more considerate than 98 percent of Austin drivers."
(What sez @evilmopacatx.bsky.social?)
(What sez @evilmopacatx.bsky.social?)
Once again, it turns out “fully autonomous” means “a guy in the Philippines.”
It Turns Out Waymos Are Being Controlled by Workers in the Philippines
During a Congressional hearing, Waymo's chief safety officer, Mauricio Peña, was grilled over the company's reliance on overseas workers.
futurism.com
February 6, 2026 at 4:56 PM
A Waymo recently politely gave me a gap to merge at one of my city's more frustrating rush-hour intersections. And so I say, "Thank you Filipino guy, you are way more considerate than 98 percent of Austin drivers."
(What sez @evilmopacatx.bsky.social?)
(What sez @evilmopacatx.bsky.social?)
You call it d-aging, I call it plasticizing.
Xfinity has just released its Jurassic Park-themed Super Bowl ad that features a digitally de-aged Sam Neil, Laura Dern, and Jeff Goldblum. https://bit.ly/4rmRhrK
February 5, 2026 at 9:10 PM
You call it d-aging, I call it plasticizing.
Dan Quinn on Feb. 5, 2017: "We had a team ahead 28-3 and every time a new score came in they just magically whittled away until the lead was lost. It looks on its face to be fraudulent. Can I prove it? No. Also, fuck Julian Edelman."
Mike Johnson on Trump calling for Rs to "nationalize" elections: "We had 3 Republicans who were ahead on election day in last cycle & every time a new tranche of ballots came in they just magically whittled away until their leads were lost. It looks on its face to be fraudulent. Can I prove it? No"
February 3, 2026 at 10:15 PM
Dan Quinn on Feb. 5, 2017: "We had a team ahead 28-3 and every time a new score came in they just magically whittled away until the lead was lost. It looks on its face to be fraudulent. Can I prove it? No. Also, fuck Julian Edelman."
Houston Oilers fans on Jan. 3, 1993: "We had a team ahead 35-3 and every time a new score came in they just magically whittled away until the lead was lost. It looks on its face to be fraudulent. Can I prove it? No."
Mike Johnson on Trump calling for Rs to "nationalize" elections: "We had 3 Republicans who were ahead on election day in last cycle & every time a new tranche of ballots came in they just magically whittled away until their leads were lost. It looks on its face to be fraudulent. Can I prove it? No"
February 3, 2026 at 10:12 PM
Houston Oilers fans on Jan. 3, 1993: "We had a team ahead 35-3 and every time a new score came in they just magically whittled away until the lead was lost. It looks on its face to be fraudulent. Can I prove it? No."
In the big picture there's nothing funny about this grown man going after teens, but I do laugh at the clip opening with the girl speedily whipping out her cell phone from her back pocket. She draws faster than Alan Ladd in "Shane."
(Buda, Texas, y'all. That's pronounced "BYOO-duh," non-Texans.)
(Buda, Texas, y'all. That's pronounced "BYOO-duh," non-Texans.)
MAGA Adult Male assaults Texas High School students protesting ICE
February 3, 2026 at 6:32 PM
In the big picture there's nothing funny about this grown man going after teens, but I do laugh at the clip opening with the girl speedily whipping out her cell phone from her back pocket. She draws faster than Alan Ladd in "Shane."
(Buda, Texas, y'all. That's pronounced "BYOO-duh," non-Texans.)
(Buda, Texas, y'all. That's pronounced "BYOO-duh," non-Texans.)
Buddy Holly was FAR ahead of his time. I firmly believe that had he lived he would have become one of the biggest music moguls — not just as a singer and songwriter, but as a producer and an EVERYTHING man — America has ever seen.
(Side note: His music holds up way better than most from the '50s.)
(Side note: His music holds up way better than most from the '50s.)
February 3, 2026 at 5:15 PM
Buddy Holly was FAR ahead of his time. I firmly believe that had he lived he would have become one of the biggest music moguls — not just as a singer and songwriter, but as a producer and an EVERYTHING man — America has ever seen.
(Side note: His music holds up way better than most from the '50s.)
(Side note: His music holds up way better than most from the '50s.)
The woke scolds are trying to make this about racism. But Musk is right. It's about historical and scientific integrity. When the God of Thunder disguises himself as a swan to seduce and fuck a queen and the resulting baby hatches from an egg, *of course* the baby will be white. It's just science.
Elon Musk claims Christopher Nolan has lost ‘integrity’ over The Odyssey casting
Lupita Nyong’o is reportedly set to play Helen of Troy in Nolan’s upcoming adaptation of Homer’s epic poem
www.independent.co.uk
February 2, 2026 at 6:44 PM
Thinkin @theonion.com might have a case for copyright infringement here.
January 30, 2026 at 8:41 PM
Thinkin @theonion.com might have a case for copyright infringement here.
Well done, all the way around. Solid coordination between headline writer and social media editor.
(Side note: Melania looks well on her way to becoming Jocelyn Wildenstein.)
(Side note: Melania looks well on her way to becoming Jocelyn Wildenstein.)
REVIEW | Melania Trump is a scowling void of pure nothingness in her ghastly film
Melania Trump is a scowling void of pure nothingness in her ghastly film – review
www.independent.co.uk
January 30, 2026 at 5:56 PM
Well done, all the way around. Solid coordination between headline writer and social media editor.
(Side note: Melania looks well on her way to becoming Jocelyn Wildenstein.)
(Side note: Melania looks well on her way to becoming Jocelyn Wildenstein.)
Reposted by CleanupHitter
My good friend Tony Drewry lives out in Terlingua and took this gorgeous photo of the Chisos mountains with fog on the ground from his place there. This was at sunrise after the cold front came through. Some photographers have all the luck! Thank you, Tony. Tremendous!
January 30, 2026 at 2:51 AM
My good friend Tony Drewry lives out in Terlingua and took this gorgeous photo of the Chisos mountains with fog on the ground from his place there. This was at sunrise after the cold front came through. Some photographers have all the luck! Thank you, Tony. Tremendous!
Gestapo motherfucker cursed to spend his whole life looking like the face on Brodie's t-shirt in "Mallrats."
So I found out this is one of the ICE agents involved in this incident.
January 29, 2026 at 10:36 PM
Gestapo motherfucker cursed to spend his whole life looking like the face on Brodie's t-shirt in "Mallrats."
Twice-divorced guy who ran a casino into bankruptcy and rawdogged a porn star doesn't make mistakes.
NEW: Trump posted a video implying Michael Flynn and others pushed 2020 election “bullshit” and Alex Jones, Tucker Carlson, and others should “shut the fuck up” because he is ordained by God and doesn’t make mistakes.
meidasnews.com/news/trump-s...
meidasnews.com/news/trump-s...
Trump Shares Video Attacking Tucker Carlson, Others
Video: “Maybe it’s time to shut the f*ck up”
meidasnews.com
January 29, 2026 at 9:22 PM
Twice-divorced guy who ran a casino into bankruptcy and rawdogged a porn star doesn't make mistakes.
I'm cheering this on like it's the last leg of a 6-team parlay and I've hit the first 5.
January 28, 2026 at 8:06 PM
I'm cheering this on like it's the last leg of a 6-team parlay and I've hit the first 5.
If you've got a blacklist I want to be on it.
January 28, 2026 at 5:48 PM
If you've got a blacklist I want to be on it.
What in hell kind of dinosaur head crest DNA was crossbred into this lizard-man?
Even Fox’s Trey Gowdy Wonders Why Alex Pretti Is Being Demonized for Carrying a Gun After Kyle Rittenhouse Was Celebrated for It
www.mediaite.com/media/tv/fox...
www.mediaite.com/media/tv/fox...
Fox’s Trey Gowdy Wonders Why Alex Pretti Is Being Demonized for Carrying a Gun After Kyle Rittenhouse Was Celebrated for It
Trey Gowdy said the shooting death of Alex Pretti has led some conservatives to ask why the Trump administration called out Pretti for carrying a gun
www.mediaite.com
January 26, 2026 at 9:40 PM
What in hell kind of dinosaur head crest DNA was crossbred into this lizard-man?
Apropos of nothing… well, actually of EVERYTHING, my favorite quote from "The Hunt for Red October":
"This business will get out of control. It will get out of control and we'll be lucky to live through it."
"This business will get out of control. It will get out of control and we'll be lucky to live through it."
January 24, 2026 at 7:55 PM
Apropos of nothing… well, actually of EVERYTHING, my favorite quote from "The Hunt for Red October":
"This business will get out of control. It will get out of control and we'll be lucky to live through it."
"This business will get out of control. It will get out of control and we'll be lucky to live through it."
To the lady leaving my corner convenience store with five bottles of wine to ride out the winter storm: I salute you and wish you were my neighbor.
January 24, 2026 at 3:45 AM
To the lady leaving my corner convenience store with five bottles of wine to ride out the winter storm: I salute you and wish you were my neighbor.
Quote skeet a gif with a clue of where you’re from…
January 23, 2026 at 9:23 PM
Quote skeet a gif with a clue of where you’re from…
Good short doc on the best gym in #Austin.
Actually, scratch that. It's the best gym ANYWHERE.
(Please stay in business forever, Hyde Park Gym.)
Actually, scratch that. It's the best gym ANYWHERE.
(Please stay in business forever, Hyde Park Gym.)
Hyde Park Gym - Austin's Oldest Barbell Gym
YouTube video by Austin Fitness Community
www.youtube.com
January 22, 2026 at 3:11 PM
Good short doc on the best gym in #Austin.
Actually, scratch that. It's the best gym ANYWHERE.
(Please stay in business forever, Hyde Park Gym.)
Actually, scratch that. It's the best gym ANYWHERE.
(Please stay in business forever, Hyde Park Gym.)
Dammit. Dolly's got me living out my own version of that scene from "Good Will Hunting" right now.
Don't fuck with me, Dolly. Not you.
*Breaks into sobs. Looking around and wishing Dolly would hug me.*
Don't fuck with me, Dolly. Not you.
*Breaks into sobs. Looking around and wishing Dolly would hug me.*
Dolly Parton - Light of a Clear Blue Morning ft. Lainey Wilson, Miley Cyrus, Queen Latifah & Reba
YouTube video by Dolly Parton
www.youtube.com
January 16, 2026 at 4:06 PM
Dammit. Dolly's got me living out my own version of that scene from "Good Will Hunting" right now.
Don't fuck with me, Dolly. Not you.
*Breaks into sobs. Looking around and wishing Dolly would hug me.*
Don't fuck with me, Dolly. Not you.
*Breaks into sobs. Looking around and wishing Dolly would hug me.*
I see that Neil from "The Young Ones" has beefed up, gone MAGA, and now wants to be in Congress.
No. 2 US ICE official Madison Sheahan leaving agency to run for Congress reut.rs/4qZMrk8
No. 2 US ICE official Madison Sheahan leaving agency to run for Congress
U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement Deputy Director Madison Sheahan is leaving the agency and running for Congress, she said in social media posts on Thursday.
reut.rs
January 15, 2026 at 8:19 PM
I see that Neil from "The Young Ones" has beefed up, gone MAGA, and now wants to be in Congress.
Very simple reason for that. It was only last night that somebody watched "Trading Places" and was reminded by Billy Ray Valentine that a karate man only bruises on the inside so they don't show their weakness.
I bet you didn't even know Jonathan Ross is a chain belt in Kung Fu, did you?
I bet you didn't even know Jonathan Ross is a chain belt in Kung Fu, did you?
Strange that nobody in the administration brought up this internal bleeding last week
January 14, 2026 at 8:13 PM
Very simple reason for that. It was only last night that somebody watched "Trading Places" and was reminded by Billy Ray Valentine that a karate man only bruises on the inside so they don't show their weakness.
I bet you didn't even know Jonathan Ross is a chain belt in Kung Fu, did you?
I bet you didn't even know Jonathan Ross is a chain belt in Kung Fu, did you?
I've worked with enough polite bullshitters in my life, so I can translate this. Here's what he's saying:
"We might lie to you. Totally up to you to believe those lies or not."
"We might lie to you. Totally up to you to believe those lies or not."
Been reading this over and over and can't for the life of me understand what he's even trying to say. This is a lot of words to say... nothing.
January 14, 2026 at 7:31 PM
I've worked with enough polite bullshitters in my life, so I can translate this. Here's what he's saying:
"We might lie to you. Totally up to you to believe those lies or not."
"We might lie to you. Totally up to you to believe those lies or not."
Scott Adams walking up to the Pearly Gates and angels right about now, only to discover the whole scene looks exactly like the painting from the opening of "Good Times."
January 13, 2026 at 4:08 PM
Scott Adams walking up to the Pearly Gates and angels right about now, only to discover the whole scene looks exactly like the painting from the opening of "Good Times."