Author | Lightnews

Chase Burke

Chase Burke

@cburke.bsky.social

390 followers 250 following 3.4K posts

I'm laughing, actually. (Not the author)

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Reposted by Chase Burke

Dr. Hilary Agro, PhD 🍄 @hilaryagro.com · 18h

A writer tried dating alt-right men as an experiment to learn about them. There is so much going on here I don't even know where to start

www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/love-sex/...

I told him that I was born in Russia and was a writer. He showed me a list he’d written of his favourite desserts in the city. It was a sober hobby he’d started during the pandemic, going to restaurants by himself, sampling sweets. He made a lot of lists, he said, most of them food-related. I asked what other kinds he made.

“Lists of lies liberal white women tell about Donald Trump,” he replied.

Suddenly, his leg was shaking. He grabbed the edges of the table and raised his voice: “White, liberal women are a plague on our society.”

He proceeded to drink 11 iced coffees.

Chase Burke @cburke.bsky.social · 1d

The Hamburglar wasn't returning her calls.

Chase Burke @cburke.bsky.social · 1d

Couldn't make it past the first episode because it made me sick to see an indoor wheelbarrow being used outside.

Chase Burke @cburke.bsky.social · 1d

"Mamdani's early lead attributed to Arabic numerals, according to experts. More chilling details to follow..."

Chase Burke @cburke.bsky.social · 1d

It's the same thing with their parallel entertainment. Cry foul that an insidious cabal is against them, then turn around and prove that they can't make anything of value if you're not a white evangelical.

Reposted by Chase Burke

West Coast Cheese 🏴‍☠️ @cheeseofthewest.bsky.social · Aug 24

Gavin Newsom, a thread:

Chase Burke @cburke.bsky.social · 2d

She was spending a lot of time with her Task Manager, and now I know why :(

Chase Burke @cburke.bsky.social · 2d

Remember the 3-2-1 backup rule:

3 don't
2 do
1 this

Chase Burke @cburke.bsky.social · 2d

"The doctor told me I had updog. I wasn't fooled. I told him I knew updog is a cartoon superhero. He looked very impressed."

Chase Burke @cburke.bsky.social · 3d

Kids today are so lazy they don't even make midnight pasta.

Chase Burke @cburke.bsky.social · 3d

"I'm being canceled in this job interview I bombed."

Chase Burke @cburke.bsky.social · 3d

"Your cultural issues are just made up nonsense, whereas mine are so real, I literally cling to them. They are cloth mom to me."

Chase Burke @cburke.bsky.social · 3d

Guy who does weight training for 7 months and thinks he could be an emperor if he really wanted to.

Chase Burke @cburke.bsky.social · 3d

Normal people moving into luxury apartments, but being unable to afford someone to remove the secret soundproof cells hidden behind bookcases.

"Uh I guess this is the computer room now?"

Chase Burke @cburke.bsky.social · 3d

Fair enough, my blood does taste like root beer.

Chase Burke @cburke.bsky.social · 3d

"My evidence is fake, but the problem is real!"

Chase Burke @cburke.bsky.social · 3d

Damn if only there was a process to determine if someone committed a crime, and to what extent! I guess the only options are bomb or not bomb until someone invents that.

Chase Burke @cburke.bsky.social · 3d

JS coyly hiding its types behind a giant, ornate fan while fluttering its eyelashes.

Chase Burke @cburke.bsky.social · 4d

"It's meowtasticized."
"Awww... oh."

Chase Burke @cburke.bsky.social · 4d

"Maybe you will all feel more grateful to the occupying army when you become their servants."

Chase Burke @cburke.bsky.social · 4d

Inside you, there are 3 wolves, actually.

🥖Kekeflipnote🥖 @kekeflipnote.bsky.social · 6d

Smile :)

Chase Burke @cburke.bsky.social · 4d

They sell car commercial rock n roll.

Chase Burke @cburke.bsky.social · 5d

Haunted Gundam 😱

Reposted by Chase Burke

Ben Daniel (he/him) @revbennyd.bsky.social · 6d

Here's a photo of my friend and colleague, Jorge Bautista, getting shot in the face with a flashbang grenade. The ICE Agent is so afraid of Jorge (who was posing no threat) that he has wet himself. Please share this photo. Everyone needs to know what cowards ICE agents are.

Chase Burke @cburke.bsky.social · 5d

Trump calls coopers "horrible little losers" and claims the US will invest in "wonderful crates that hold stuff like you've never seen before."