╰┈× 𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐊𝐓𝐎𝐍.
@butcherofthesands.bsky.social
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[ claps hands once and points at him! ]
yes! that's the joke. you are not flirting with me. you are threatening to eat me. I am taking that as a sign that you're flirting.
yes! that's the joke. you are not flirting with me. you are threatening to eat me. I am taking that as a sign that you're flirting.
[staring down at him. leering. blinking a few times (in reptilian fashion).]
but i am not... flirting with you?
[seems he doesn't get it.]
but i am not... flirting with you?
[seems he doesn't get it.]
awfully generous time window, thank you. but no, a bit is a short, little comedy routine. see, the "bit" here was that you threaten to kill me, and I take it as a sign you are flirting.
yes. what your head is going to be two minutes from now
renekton do you know what a "bit" is?
what's wrong with you. i don't care anymore!!!!
stoppp you're embarrassing meee 🤭🤭🤭
i would do that. i would snatch you up and eat you.
aww, that's sweet. 😚😚❤️❤️
like a hawk to a piece of prey...
i'd care, warrior
i'd care, warrior
if a hawk swept me up would you all care
of course ! i'll go get the prettiest pot i can find !
[ he gently took the flower , holding it carefully . . . he appreciates how much care the other is willing to give for this simple gift . makes his heart feel all swirly ! ]
i'll be back in a jiffy , renekton !
[ he gently took the flower , holding it carefully . . . he appreciates how much care the other is willing to give for this simple gift . makes his heart feel all swirly ! ]
i'll be back in a jiffy , renekton !
...alright. you make a good enough point. ...can you... get a pot for me?
[he's handing the flower back. those foggy eyes show a genuine attempt at wanting to care for this flower!]
[he's handing the flower back. those foggy eyes show a genuine attempt at wanting to care for this flower!]
well . . . think about how you've handled me thus far ! i'm fragile and little compared to you ! and you've always handled me correctly !
maybe . . . you can keep it somewhere safe ! somewhere nice where it can get all the nutrients it needs . . . like a pot ! and some water ! and also a
+
maybe . . . you can keep it somewhere safe ! somewhere nice where it can get all the nutrients it needs . . . like a pot ! and some water ! and also a
+
no, not necessarily that... what if /i/ destroy it? it's so fragile and little.
[he seemed awed by the gift, being extraordinarily careful with it... he's really worried!]
[he seemed awed by the gift, being extraordinarily careful with it... he's really worried!]
worried about what ? the flower wilting ?
it'll be alright . . . ! even if it wilts , i can bring you another , and another . . . heck , i can see what i can do to make the flower live on forever ! just for you to keep !
( ^ _ ^ )
it'll be alright . . . ! even if it wilts , i can bring you another , and another . . . heck , i can see what i can do to make the flower live on forever ! just for you to keep !
( ^ _ ^ )
[the nine foot crocodile squats, tail wagging behind him as he took it in his large, weathered claws.]
it is. i'm... worried, though.
it is. i'm... worried, though.
really ? oh , i'm so glad ! it is a wonderful flower !
[ holding the flower out to him ! little tiny creature on his tippy toes . ]
[ holding the flower out to him ! little tiny creature on his tippy toes . ]
...
don't say it like that. i will take it.
don't say it like that. i will take it.
oh i dunno . . . i just thought it'd be a nice gift . . .
...
what.. what would i do with a flower? it would wilt in the heat... /////
what.. what would i do with a flower? it would wilt in the heat... /////
do you want a flower too , my love ?
( ´ ▽ ` )
( ´ ▽ ` )
my fiancé teemo
i'm just SAYING!!!!!! why forcefully request my services if you don't even want them!!!
i have a better idea.
[opening his mouth-]
[opening his mouth-]
listen you can kidnap me all you want but i will NOT budge about proper cooking procedure. why go to the trouble if you aren't even going to eat what i make
but that's the best part. you're supposed to be MY chef, you make what i want 💢
no! ♡ that is a health violation and also gross. i'll make you something nutritious that doesn't have an aroma of death surrounding it
can it be? i will provide ingredients.
i can make you our meat lover's special! um, skin not included....i hope that's alright. ;;;
no. i eat anything with flesh.
sand is considered an appetizer.
sand is considered an appetizer.
Reposted by ╰┈× 𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐊𝐓𝐎𝐍.
wait have you,,,,ONLY been eating sand like this whole time?????
what food can you make out of sand? we have a lot of sand.
oh ! i see ! i hope you'll like what i make then?????
*he has zero way of fighting back bro is just skipping all the stages of grief and landing on acceptance immediately. unless this is some fucked up form of denial*
*he has zero way of fighting back bro is just skipping all the stages of grief and landing on acceptance immediately. unless this is some fucked up form of denial*
the scout said you make pizzas. i'm keeping you as my personal food maker.
owh - !
[ falling backward . pout . ]
awwh . . . i thought i was doing really good ! 💧
[ falling backward . pout . ]
awwh . . . i thought i was doing really good ! 💧
...
yeah, no.
[flicking his forehead.]
yeah, no.
[flicking his forehead.]
keeping.......? sir what do you mean by keeping ;;;;
good. satisfactory.
[grabbing him by the torso with his massive hand like a barbie doll]
i'm keeping you
[grabbing him by the torso with his massive hand like a barbie doll]
i'm keeping you