Brandon
@brandonjschwartz.com
Law, political theory, language, computers.
Attorney at schwartzapc.com
President at boomajoom.com
Nothing I post is legal advice, and I’m not your attorney. Occasional Escrow Manager.
Attorney at schwartzapc.com
President at boomajoom.com
Nothing I post is legal advice, and I’m not your attorney. Occasional Escrow Manager.
Pinned
Brandon
@brandonjschwartz.com
· Jan 10
If you call fake MAGA Kyle Rittenhouse the murderer a murderer and a homicide, a lot of weirdos will come out of the weeds and try to fight you.
Stealing "Your Honor, in the ancient libraries of Ashurbanipal, scribes carried their stylus as both tool and sacred trust - understanding, that every mark upon clay
would endure long beyond their mortal span" for some kind of future filing.
would endure long beyond their mortal span" for some kind of future filing.
The Court’s eyebrows must be through the roof by now
![The Response was also noteworthy for its conspicuously florid prose. For
example, it featured an extended quote from Ray Bradbury's Fahrenheit 451
and metaphors comparing legal advocacy to gardening and the leaving of
indelible "mark[s] upon the clay." (Response 3). And it included the following
passage:
Your Honor, in the ancient libraries of Ashurbanipal, scribes carried their stylus as both tool and sacred trust - understanding , that every mark upon clay
would endure long beyond their mortal span. As the role the mark (x) in Ezekiel Chapter 9, that marked the foreheads with a tav (x) of blood and ink, bear the same solemn recognition: that the written word carries power to preserve or condemn, to build or destroy, and leaves an indelible mark which cannot be erased but should be withdrawn, let it lead other to think these citations were correct.
I have failed in that sacred trust. The errors in my memorandum, however inadvertent, have diminished the integrity of the record and the dignity of these proceedings. Like the scribes of antiquity who bore their stylus as both privilege and burden, I understand that legal authorship demands more than mere competence — it requires absolute fidelity to truth and precision in every mark upon the page.
(Id. at 7-8). Needless to say, Mr. Feldman's overwrought metaphors and
historical references raised the Court's eyebrows.](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:ssxnmhdtz6le6nxu7jfhglz6/bafkreigldm7iyao5jmzvvxdf46rvq2jgopct4fi36uipnfjwmq5klrzy7m@jpeg)
February 5, 2026 at 7:39 PM
Stealing "Your Honor, in the ancient libraries of Ashurbanipal, scribes carried their stylus as both tool and sacred trust - understanding, that every mark upon clay
would endure long beyond their mortal span" for some kind of future filing.
would endure long beyond their mortal span" for some kind of future filing.
Jeff Bezos isn't "destroying" @washingtonpost.com. A 🧵:
February 4, 2026 at 8:39 PM
Jeff Bezos isn't "destroying" @washingtonpost.com. A 🧵:
2015. Job interview.
Nolo: Before we can make you an offer, we have to have you agree to a dispute resolution contract. You can only see it after we hire you.
Me: I have a book published by YOU that says I shouldn’t sign anything like that and that it’s bad for you to ask.
Nolo: idk bro
Nolo: Before we can make you an offer, we have to have you agree to a dispute resolution contract. You can only see it after we hire you.
Me: I have a book published by YOU that says I shouldn’t sign anything like that and that it’s bad for you to ask.
Nolo: idk bro
this email offers no details about what the actual offer is and you have to opt in before you find out lol
Below is the buyout offer all CBS Evening News staff received today.
"We hope you are excited about this vision, but we understand that some of you may not be, and we want to provide support. As such, we are offering an extraordinary chance to leave CBS News with an enhanced separation payment."
"We hope you are excited about this vision, but we understand that some of you may not be, and we want to provide support. As such, we are offering an extraordinary chance to leave CBS News with an enhanced separation payment."
January 29, 2026 at 5:00 AM
2015. Job interview.
Nolo: Before we can make you an offer, we have to have you agree to a dispute resolution contract. You can only see it after we hire you.
Me: I have a book published by YOU that says I shouldn’t sign anything like that and that it’s bad for you to ask.
Nolo: idk bro
Nolo: Before we can make you an offer, we have to have you agree to a dispute resolution contract. You can only see it after we hire you.
Me: I have a book published by YOU that says I shouldn’t sign anything like that and that it’s bad for you to ask.
Nolo: idk bro
Cannot stress how much of an advantage it is to be a normal, well adjusted, applicant for legal roles.
I reviewed a resume that listed "Kyle Rittenhouse" as an interest. That is not an interest. It's been hours and I cannot stop thinking about it. There will not be an interview.
I reviewed a resume that listed "Kyle Rittenhouse" as an interest. That is not an interest. It's been hours and I cannot stop thinking about it. There will not be an interview.
January 29, 2026 at 4:42 AM
Cannot stress how much of an advantage it is to be a normal, well adjusted, applicant for legal roles.
I reviewed a resume that listed "Kyle Rittenhouse" as an interest. That is not an interest. It's been hours and I cannot stop thinking about it. There will not be an interview.
I reviewed a resume that listed "Kyle Rittenhouse" as an interest. That is not an interest. It's been hours and I cannot stop thinking about it. There will not be an interview.
Guy wants to belittle me by nicknaming me the company I own? This has to be the worst attempt at belittling that I’ve seen in three years. Maybe five.
I’m belittling you with a nickname.
Boomajoom can’t answer a direct question. Sorry. Won’t.
Boomajoom can’t answer a direct question. Sorry. Won’t.
January 28, 2026 at 5:28 PM
Guy wants to belittle me by nicknaming me the company I own? This has to be the worst attempt at belittling that I’ve seen in three years. Maybe five.
If I win the lottery, I won't tell anyone, but there will be signs.
January 22, 2026 at 7:40 PM
If I win the lottery, I won't tell anyone, but there will be signs.
Chris Ahuja wants to codify Bivens and abolish ICE. Those are damn strong propositions for someone trying to get into Congress. If you're in his district, you should give that some serious thought when you decide who to vote for.
Trump didn’t invent ICE—he weaponized it. He told MAGA who to fear, and ICE enforced that fear. Brad Sherman voted YES on the Patriot Act while leaders like Bernie Sanders and Barbara Lee voted NO. The result isn’t enforcement—it’s intimidation in Hispanic neighborhoods. #AbolishICE #CA32
January 22, 2026 at 5:24 AM
Chris Ahuja wants to codify Bivens and abolish ICE. Those are damn strong propositions for someone trying to get into Congress. If you're in his district, you should give that some serious thought when you decide who to vote for.
Reposted by Brandon
This is Tom Wrocklage lol. He is a tax attorney that is utterly and completely batshit crazy
This is him on a NYC school board zoom call getting muted
This is him on a NYC school board zoom call getting muted
January 21, 2026 at 10:02 PM
This is Tom Wrocklage lol. He is a tax attorney that is utterly and completely batshit crazy
This is him on a NYC school board zoom call getting muted
This is him on a NYC school board zoom call getting muted
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how missionaries taught natives spanish
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duolingo settings flogging until i read spanish bible for 8 hours a day
peruvian silver mine jobs
January 20, 2026 at 5:22 PM
learn spanish
duolingo spanish
how missionaries taught natives spanish
bible in spanish
buy spanish bible online
duolingo settings
duolingo settings bible reminder
duolingo settings flogging until i read spanish bible for 8 hours a day
peruvian silver mine jobs
duolingo spanish
how missionaries taught natives spanish
bible in spanish
buy spanish bible online
duolingo settings
duolingo settings bible reminder
duolingo settings flogging until i read spanish bible for 8 hours a day
peruvian silver mine jobs
Does anyone know how to get in touch with former Senator Larry Craig?
viewfromthewing.com/chicago-look...
viewfromthewing.com/chicago-look...
Chicago Looks To Sell Naming Rights at O’Hare and Midway—Even for Restrooms, Trash Cans and Pet Relief Areas - View from the Wing
Chicago is exploring selling sponsorships and naming rights across O’Hare and Midway—everything from terminals and people-mover stations down to restrooms, trash cans, and pet relief areas. A new RFI ...
viewfromthewing.com
January 17, 2026 at 2:50 PM
Does anyone know how to get in touch with former Senator Larry Craig?
viewfromthewing.com/chicago-look...
viewfromthewing.com/chicago-look...
Reposted by Brandon
First thing we do
January 16, 2026 at 8:01 AM
First thing we do
Hey @prog-r0k.bsky.social if you search for a GIF with the keywords “the litigator” this comes up. (Not my work.)
a pixelated image of a man and a woman dressed as clowns posing for a picture
Alt: a pixelated image of a man and a woman dressed as clowns posing for a picture
media.tenor.com
January 13, 2026 at 10:38 PM
Hey @prog-r0k.bsky.social if you search for a GIF with the keywords “the litigator” this comes up. (Not my work.)
Reposted by Brandon
It would take a two-word amendment to 42 U.S.C. § 1983 to subject ICE agents and other federal law enforcement officers to the same liability for constitutional violations that local and state officers currently face.
If Congress actually cared about what it's seeing, it could pass that overnight.
If Congress actually cared about what it's seeing, it could pass that overnight.
January 12, 2026 at 10:56 PM
It would take a two-word amendment to 42 U.S.C. § 1983 to subject ICE agents and other federal law enforcement officers to the same liability for constitutional violations that local and state officers currently face.
If Congress actually cared about what it's seeing, it could pass that overnight.
If Congress actually cared about what it's seeing, it could pass that overnight.
Trying to imagine what the cartilage of my home is and I am physically ill.
January 11, 2026 at 12:48 AM
Trying to imagine what the cartilage of my home is and I am physically ill.
“You’re a hero in our house. For as long as I’m alive, if we have any issues, you’re the man I will call. God bless you my friend.”
— Relative of a happy client today.
— Relative of a happy client today.
January 10, 2026 at 12:05 AM
“You’re a hero in our house. For as long as I’m alive, if we have any issues, you’re the man I will call. God bless you my friend.”
— Relative of a happy client today.
— Relative of a happy client today.
I can't be the only one who sees it.
January 7, 2026 at 9:23 PM
I can't be the only one who sees it.
Bernie Sanders should open a health clinic treating STDs called “Feel the Bern?”
January 1, 2026 at 9:35 PM
Bernie Sanders should open a health clinic treating STDs called “Feel the Bern?”
Happy “the year selection for the age wheel on websites has added another slight indignity” day to those who celebrate.
January 1, 2026 at 8:22 PM
Happy “the year selection for the age wheel on websites has added another slight indignity” day to those who celebrate.
Reposted by Brandon
in your 20s, you'll come across someone who's wrong online. it's very important than you spend the next 40 years of your life learning and arguing about this topic online long after they've moved on, built a career, and raised a family.
December 29, 2025 at 12:36 AM
in your 20s, you'll come across someone who's wrong online. it's very important than you spend the next 40 years of your life learning and arguing about this topic online long after they've moved on, built a career, and raised a family.
Who up █████████ they █████ rn
December 27, 2025 at 9:07 PM
Who up █████████ they █████ rn