damn i wish i was your lawyer
@bermanmatt.bsky.social
Holding on to the Oxford comma. #BLM | bokononist
My 8-year-old's basketball team has called themselves the 6-7-ers, and I think that is freakin' brilliant and hilarious.
December 8, 2025 at 1:00 AM
My 8-year-old's basketball team has called themselves the 6-7-ers, and I think that is freakin' brilliant and hilarious.
Oh hey, it looks like the MLS championship game was yesterday! Messi's team in Miami won. Huzzah.
I feel like the fact that I had *no* idea that was happening, saw no advertising about the game, and have seen literally no one post about it would be, uh, not good signs if I were, say, an MLS exec.
I feel like the fact that I had *no* idea that was happening, saw no advertising about the game, and have seen literally no one post about it would be, uh, not good signs if I were, say, an MLS exec.
December 7, 2025 at 4:13 PM
Oh hey, it looks like the MLS championship game was yesterday! Messi's team in Miami won. Huzzah.
I feel like the fact that I had *no* idea that was happening, saw no advertising about the game, and have seen literally no one post about it would be, uh, not good signs if I were, say, an MLS exec.
I feel like the fact that I had *no* idea that was happening, saw no advertising about the game, and have seen literally no one post about it would be, uh, not good signs if I were, say, an MLS exec.
A large chunk of the Republican party is just people who think none of the horrifying shit they want to do to other people will ever happen to them and I doubt that's gonna change until those folks discover that "their" people are actually totally willing to do it to them too.
December 7, 2025 at 3:52 PM
A large chunk of the Republican party is just people who think none of the horrifying shit they want to do to other people will ever happen to them and I doubt that's gonna change until those folks discover that "their" people are actually totally willing to do it to them too.
Do you like cleaning off surfaces you literally just cleaned? Have I got a product for you: Kids! You'll never not need to wipe that down again.*
*Never Need Not Wipe Down guarantee expires after 18 years or serious life event best not contemplated, whichever comes first.
*Never Need Not Wipe Down guarantee expires after 18 years or serious life event best not contemplated, whichever comes first.
December 7, 2025 at 3:07 PM
Do you like cleaning off surfaces you literally just cleaned? Have I got a product for you: Kids! You'll never not need to wipe that down again.*
*Never Need Not Wipe Down guarantee expires after 18 years or serious life event best not contemplated, whichever comes first.
*Never Need Not Wipe Down guarantee expires after 18 years or serious life event best not contemplated, whichever comes first.
The Endless Summer rules.
December 7, 2025 at 4:19 AM
The Endless Summer rules.
The cast of Oh. What. Fun is extremely overqualified for the everything else of Oh. What. Fun.*
*I enjoyed it anyway.
*I enjoyed it anyway.
December 7, 2025 at 1:16 AM
The cast of Oh. What. Fun is extremely overqualified for the everything else of Oh. What. Fun.*
*I enjoyed it anyway.
*I enjoyed it anyway.
Terrance this is stupid stuff
You eat your victuals fast enough
You eat your victuals fast enough
Which lines of poetry live rent-free in your head?
December 7, 2025 at 12:53 AM
Terrance this is stupid stuff
You eat your victuals fast enough
You eat your victuals fast enough
If the Supreme Court declares an end to birthright citizenship, literally the first thing the next Democratic President should do after being sworn in is to declare every one of them that signed on to that "non-citizens" and ship them to El Salvador.
December 6, 2025 at 11:21 PM
If the Supreme Court declares an end to birthright citizenship, literally the first thing the next Democratic President should do after being sworn in is to declare every one of them that signed on to that "non-citizens" and ship them to El Salvador.
The Devil's Own Cocktail.
December 6, 2025 at 10:38 PM
The Devil's Own Cocktail.
The FIFA "peace prize" is obviously absurd and disgusting, but also objectively funny. Grift knows grift.
December 6, 2025 at 8:18 PM
The FIFA "peace prize" is obviously absurd and disgusting, but also objectively funny. Grift knows grift.
One thing I noticed being back at work with people: I eat really fast. I'll routinely be done with my lunch while whomsoever I'm with has taken like 3 bites of theirs.
December 6, 2025 at 3:45 PM
One thing I noticed being back at work with people: I eat really fast. I'll routinely be done with my lunch while whomsoever I'm with has taken like 3 bites of theirs.
The '80s were wild man.
December 6, 2025 at 3:03 PM
The '80s were wild man.
I wonder if while Kraan was playing this they were like, "Hell yeah, mimes" or were more like," What the fuck, mimes"?
youtu.be/t12HTux0bIQ?...
youtu.be/t12HTux0bIQ?...
Kraan - Vollgas Ahoi (1977)
YouTube video by orangefunk
youtu.be
December 6, 2025 at 2:39 PM
I wonder if while Kraan was playing this they were like, "Hell yeah, mimes" or were more like," What the fuck, mimes"?
youtu.be/t12HTux0bIQ?...
youtu.be/t12HTux0bIQ?...
All this talk about Paul Dano's acting in There Will Be Blood is glossing over the fact that There Will Be Blood is actually a pretty lousy movie.
(...admittedly partially because Paul Dano was 23 and was cast in a part that needed a weightier screen presence than he was capable of at the time.)
(...admittedly partially because Paul Dano was 23 and was cast in a part that needed a weightier screen presence than he was capable of at the time.)
December 6, 2025 at 2:24 PM
All this talk about Paul Dano's acting in There Will Be Blood is glossing over the fact that There Will Be Blood is actually a pretty lousy movie.
(...admittedly partially because Paul Dano was 23 and was cast in a part that needed a weightier screen presence than he was capable of at the time.)
(...admittedly partially because Paul Dano was 23 and was cast in a part that needed a weightier screen presence than he was capable of at the time.)
After a few years of Stay-at-Home-Dadding, I have made it through my first week back at work. Been actually nice so far being back at work and in an office, although the whole wake up/get dressed/commute/repeat thing is, uh, not my favorite.
Regardless, I am employed. youtu.be/iIGKlicb8n0?...
Regardless, I am employed. youtu.be/iIGKlicb8n0?...
Rush - Working Man
YouTube video by RushX11XhsuR
youtu.be
December 5, 2025 at 10:54 PM
After a few years of Stay-at-Home-Dadding, I have made it through my first week back at work. Been actually nice so far being back at work and in an office, although the whole wake up/get dressed/commute/repeat thing is, uh, not my favorite.
Regardless, I am employed. youtu.be/iIGKlicb8n0?...
Regardless, I am employed. youtu.be/iIGKlicb8n0?...
I'm just happy Warner's not going to Paramount, although I wouldn't be surprised if Trump's antitrust folks try to stop this and steer it to Ellison despite that acquisition being an obviously bigger antitrust problem.
www.bbc.com/news/article...
www.bbc.com/news/article...
Netflix to buy Warner Bros film and streaming businesses for $72bn - BBC News
The major Hollywood deal means Netflix will takeover ownership of franchises including Harry Potter and Game of Thrones.
www.bbc.com
December 5, 2025 at 4:35 PM
I'm just happy Warner's not going to Paramount, although I wouldn't be surprised if Trump's antitrust folks try to stop this and steer it to Ellison despite that acquisition being an obviously bigger antitrust problem.
www.bbc.com/news/article...
www.bbc.com/news/article...
Who knew the words, "We have the oatmeal bar today" could inspire such joy in me?
December 5, 2025 at 2:34 PM
Who knew the words, "We have the oatmeal bar today" could inspire such joy in me?
Looks at phone: "Light snow ending soon"
Looks out window: Heavy snow begins to fall.
Looks out window: Heavy snow begins to fall.
December 5, 2025 at 12:38 PM
Looks at phone: "Light snow ending soon"
Looks out window: Heavy snow begins to fall.
Looks out window: Heavy snow begins to fall.
Chris Wood
Billy Strings
Chris Thile
That's what I want to see.
Billy Strings
Chris Thile
That's what I want to see.
December 5, 2025 at 3:10 AM
Chris Wood
Billy Strings
Chris Thile
That's what I want to see.
Billy Strings
Chris Thile
That's what I want to see.
The Wood Brothers
December 5, 2025 at 2:18 AM
The Wood Brothers
My son was really Robert Smith-ing today.
December 4, 2025 at 11:41 PM
My son was really Robert Smith-ing today.
If you can blow up anyone who's a "terrorist" anywhere in the world
And you can deem drug traffickers "terrorists"
And you can summarily declare anyone at all to be engaged in drug trafficking with no need for evidence or any form of determination
Then you can just blow up anyone anywhere anytime.
And you can deem drug traffickers "terrorists"
And you can summarily declare anyone at all to be engaged in drug trafficking with no need for evidence or any form of determination
Then you can just blow up anyone anywhere anytime.
December 4, 2025 at 9:12 PM
If you can blow up anyone who's a "terrorist" anywhere in the world
And you can deem drug traffickers "terrorists"
And you can summarily declare anyone at all to be engaged in drug trafficking with no need for evidence or any form of determination
Then you can just blow up anyone anywhere anytime.
And you can deem drug traffickers "terrorists"
And you can summarily declare anyone at all to be engaged in drug trafficking with no need for evidence or any form of determination
Then you can just blow up anyone anywhere anytime.
Is it bad that my Spotify Wrapped Top Genre is "Withering Sarcasm"?
December 4, 2025 at 9:02 PM
Is it bad that my Spotify Wrapped Top Genre is "Withering Sarcasm"?
A friend of mine moved across the country and is feeling lonely and sad. He was unhappy here; now he's unhappy there. I feel bad for him.
Moving can get you out of a bad sitch or to a better place, but it's rarely a panacea to problems. As Buckaroo Banzai would say: wherever you go, there you are.
Moving can get you out of a bad sitch or to a better place, but it's rarely a panacea to problems. As Buckaroo Banzai would say: wherever you go, there you are.
December 4, 2025 at 5:12 PM
A friend of mine moved across the country and is feeling lonely and sad. He was unhappy here; now he's unhappy there. I feel bad for him.
Moving can get you out of a bad sitch or to a better place, but it's rarely a panacea to problems. As Buckaroo Banzai would say: wherever you go, there you are.
Moving can get you out of a bad sitch or to a better place, but it's rarely a panacea to problems. As Buckaroo Banzai would say: wherever you go, there you are.
I'm commuting for the first time in ages and I had forgotten so many of the ways that it is bad.
December 4, 2025 at 1:50 PM
I'm commuting for the first time in ages and I had forgotten so many of the ways that it is bad.