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Swamp Witch 🍂🍁

@beneathhergaze.bsky.social

3.8K followers 180 following 13K posts

Witch, wordsmith, midwife of emotions. Terminally online, vehemently anti-AI. DCTID. Always follows the #1 Rule of the Casual Criminalist. Any mansplaining incurs a fee of $50. Unblocking fee $100. "If you don't want to be in a poem, don't fuck a poet."

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Swamp Witch 🍂🍁 @beneathhergaze.bsky.social · Mar 6

I don't do automatic follow 4 follow: some of y'all post like you're two seconds from either a grippy sock vacation or lacing up your Nike Decades and I am trying to preserve my sanity and peace here by cultivating my feeds. It's nothing personal.

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Swamp Witch 🍂🍁 @beneathhergaze.bsky.social · 4h

It's not going well for me so I would recommend not doing so 😭

Swamp Witch 🍂🍁 @beneathhergaze.bsky.social · 5h

Glass of bathwater 😭

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Swamp Witch 🍂🍁 @beneathhergaze.bsky.social · 8h

Apparently so. I have been included on no starter packs other than the ones I was already on so I've noticed nothing at all 🤷

Swamp Witch 🍂🍁 @beneathhergaze.bsky.social · 12h

Yeah honestly the more I think about this, I could write a massive essay on the implications of different actions lmao

Swamp Witch 🍂🍁 @beneathhergaze.bsky.social · 12h

Anyway I think I would be inclined to keep the bean in some sort of charm bag to hold with me, perhaps?

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Swamp Witch 🍂🍁 @beneathhergaze.bsky.social · 12h

Nope, you didn't miss anything; that's the whole spell. This is an issue in witchcraft honestly, like you could bring an entire forum to its knees from infighting if you ask questions like "in candle magic, should I blow out the candle, snuff it out, or let it burn down?" Everyone's traditions vary.

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Swamp Witch 🍂🍁 @beneathhergaze.bsky.social · 12h

It's a lot to deal with!!

Swamp Witch 🍂🍁 @beneathhergaze.bsky.social · 13h

@billhookunion.beanyear.com are there bean cultivars specific to Slavic nations? This is a book on Slavic witchcraft and I'm curious to know whether there's a particular bean that might have been favored or more easy to source.

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Swamp Witch 🍂🍁 @beneathhergaze.bsky.social · 13h

🫡

Swamp Witch 🍂🍁 @beneathhergaze.bsky.social · 13h

Y'all. Y'ALL.

I found BEAN MAGIC!

One of two photos of a love charm spell using beans. This comes from the book "Slavic Witchcraft" by Natasha Helvin. The text reads as follows:

"To charm a woman you like, take two ripe beans from one pod. When you come to the house of your beloved, hide one of the beans in her bed. Wait for midnight, and knowing that the person you love has alrwady gone to bed, put the second bean into your mouth and say in your mind:

'As two beans together grew,
Washed in the same dew,
Fed by the same land,
Enjoyed one and only sun,
Same is now -- we should be one,
This one feeling we should share,
Happiness enjoy as a pair.'"

The second of two photos of a love charm spell using beans. This comes from the book "Slavic Witchcraft" by Natasha Helvin. The text reads as follows:

"If you do not have the opportunity to visit said lady's house, carry these two beans with you at all times, and when you meet the one to whom all your feelings and thoughts are directed, silently put one of the beans in her pocket. Put the other bean in your mouth and say the previous spell in your mind. If even this is not possible for you, bury one bean on a road where your beloved walks every day, and at the moment when she steps over the talisman you made, perform the steps mentioned above."

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Swamp Witch 🍂🍁 @beneathhergaze.bsky.social · 13h

I totally understand the need to mourn, and I don't think it detracts from your accomplishments at all; there's plenty of space for both emotions. Also, I am so proud of you for persisting at this that I could bust my buttons. You're DOING THE DAMN THING 😭💜

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Swamp Witch 🍂🍁 @beneathhergaze.bsky.social · 14h

I think about this a lot, especially as things just get even more batshit, people seem very reluctant to read or analyze things for authenticity, and whatever societal niceties we still had rapidly evaporate

Swamp Witch 🍂🍁 @beneathhergaze.bsky.social · Nov 20

Honestly I think everyone's just Like This™️ now bc of repeated COVID infections. I'm not kidding. I genuinely believe that in the next 5-10 years we're gonna find out that the real issue with COVID is that it gets in the body, takes one look at the frontal lobe, and goes "hold my beer".

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Swamp Witch 🍂🍁 @beneathhergaze.bsky.social · 14h

I just need y'all to know I have been watching this 1-10 times a day every day since it was posted

imtiredthatisall @imtiredthatisall.lol · 9d

i feel like we need this today, well i do.

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Swamp Witch 🍂🍁 @beneathhergaze.bsky.social · 15h

Even back then there were two kinds of us kids: those who internalized such lessons to do better by others and those who let it etch aggression & resentment into their psyche in the shape of a cudgel to wield against people they were taught to see as lesser. Solipsism evolved to hatred.

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Swamp Witch 🍂🍁 @beneathhergaze.bsky.social · 15h

I think about him a lot; if I live to be 100 I'll never forget the impotent fury on his face at being made to consider that other people around him might view as hurtful/oppressive something he'd been conditioned to see as benign/unimportant, that racism exists outside of slurs & physical violence.

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Swamp Witch 🍂🍁 @beneathhergaze.bsky.social · 15h

I remember my Media Studies class gave us the White Privilege checklist and there was one Young Repub-type dude who had a complete melty about the part on bandaids, like he just refused to accept they were designed to blend into white skin more easily than darker skin. I'd bet money he was at Jan 6.

Swamp Witch 🍂🍁 @beneathhergaze.bsky.social · 16h

I WAS FUCKING THERE. As long as I live, I'll never forget. Violent Republican bullies don't just spring fully-formed out of nowhere like Athena emerging from the forehead of Zeus and any of y'all pretending otherwise are either liars or rubes.

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Swamp Witch 🍂🍁 @beneathhergaze.bsky.social · 16h

Amanda Marcotte has sucked ass for a staggering amount of time and I don't know how she manages to linger on as some paragon of intellectual thought

Swamp Witch 🍂🍁 @beneathhergaze.bsky.social · 16h

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Swamp Witch 🍂🍁 @beneathhergaze.bsky.social · 16h

My parents threatened to institutionalize my sister for ripping their Bush Cheney '04 sign out of the lawn. I was regularly violently threatened by my classmates for being a "Satanist" (Wiccan), then a "liberal" & a queer from 2001-2003. Folks really think they can whitewash this away, huh?

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Swamp Witch 🍂🍁 @beneathhergaze.bsky.social · 16h

In 2002 a kid at my school tried to start a GSA & students revolted so aggressively that cops/lawyers got involved. They tore down signs, planned to riot at the 1st meeting, wore homemade t-shirts that read "STRAIGHT CLUB: IT'S ADAM & EVE NOT ADAM & STEVE" and threatened to kill his little brother.

Megan E. Human (free Link) @zombiscribe.bsky.social · 18h

“Young Republicans weren’t this bad in the 00s”

Make me a sandwich, make me a sandwich, make me a sandwich

Over and over and over until they completely drove women out of spaces, and that’s like the low end.

Y’all are so god damn desperate not to learn and make connections. It’s pathetic.

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Swamp Witch 🍂🍁 @beneathhergaze.bsky.social · 16h

I guess what I'm saying is don't worry about it; I'm sure you're being a lot more fair than you think lmao

Swamp Witch 🍂🍁 @beneathhergaze.bsky.social · 16h

I had an ex who adjuncted entry-level programming classes & once wrote an exam with 130 questions but didn't want to do math, so instead of cutting questions he announced to everyone that they were all 30 points in the hole to start & had to work their way out. Apparently not one person passed.

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Swamp Witch 🍂🍁 @beneathhergaze.bsky.social · 17h

Yesssssss

Swamp Witch 🍂🍁 @beneathhergaze.bsky.social · 17h

Sometimes I love having the brain I do and then sometimes I have an unshakable compulsion to Google the year Ed Gein died vs. the year Armie Hammer was born and now I just have to act normal and do my work while I live with this realization

Swamp Witch 🍂🍁 @beneathhergaze.bsky.social · 18h

Woke up, gazed out the window at the trees, then glanced at the normally empty pillow next to me to find it occupied...by several spellbooks I apparently fell asleep reading.

My life is a fucking comedy and not even the good kind.