Author | Lightnews

Bellend Sebastian

@bellendsebastian.bsky.social

61 followers 110 following 670 posts

"Difficult to buy for" Unknowable, or simply boring? Tall, likes crisps, can read, guitars, running (away from death).Mister, won't you tell me where my love has gone?

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Bellend Sebastian @bellendsebastian.bsky.social · 7h

If you tread in chewing gum, WD40 just dissolves it into nothingness. Probably everyone knows this, but I did not

Bellend Sebastian @bellendsebastian.bsky.social · 9h

The bit in the middle was described as 'crap and rocky'. Very useful to be able to recall this level of detail from 30 year old Melody Maker reviews but not what I did last week

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Bellend Sebastian @bellendsebastian.bsky.social · 10h

And their live set began and ended with that track, I understand

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Bellend Sebastian @bellendsebastian.bsky.social · 10h

My university housemate bought that without knowing and for the rest of the day furiously played the first 15 seconds of it over and over again

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Bellend Sebastian @bellendsebastian.bsky.social · 5d

Sunshine holiday proving a lot rainier than ideal but internet good so seems like an excellent opportunity to at last listen to Duran Duran's album of covers "Thank You"

Bellend Sebastian @bellendsebastian.bsky.social · 9d

600 episodes suggests to me you really can't have too much of it

Bellend Sebastian @bellendsebastian.bsky.social · 9d

I've pretty much nicked that catchphrase, I can't stop myself!

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Bellend Sebastian @bellendsebastian.bsky.social · 9d

Realised last night that I've listened to 600 episodes of the same world war 2 podcast so I'm going to put that on LinkedIn in the hope that people leave me the fuck alone

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Bellend Sebastian @bellendsebastian.bsky.social · 10d

The boy's new football boots, desperately needed for football training, were naturally delivered while he was at football training. At least we can now get rid of the cat piss stink old ones

Bellend Sebastian @bellendsebastian.bsky.social · 10d

Positively ID'd my first False Widow spider outside the garden office. Even if was actually dangerous I don't think I'd be bothered by it, it's pretty small and unassuming and that's coming from someone that fucking hates spiders

Bellend Sebastian @bellendsebastian.bsky.social · 11d

Well I got the free goldfish and at the risk of being ungrateful there are too many of them. Expecting 6, 11 turned up

Bellend Sebastian @bellendsebastian.bsky.social · 12d

Work went pretty well today but it's simply impossible to tell how much of that can be attributed to my smart new belt

Bellend Sebastian @bellendsebastian.bsky.social · 12d

I didn't notice them but I did spot a crucifix that put me off a bit

Bellend Sebastian @bellendsebastian.bsky.social · 13d

So stressed about my son's return to youth football (completely uneventful as it turned out) mentally preparing myself for going back to work tomorrow is a piece of piss in comparison

Bellend Sebastian @bellendsebastian.bsky.social · 13d

Can work out quite pricey but you use them to make a barrier around whatever you're protecting and they won't cross it

Bellend Sebastian @bellendsebastian.bsky.social · 13d

If you can get them those wool slug pellets are really good

Bellend Sebastian @bellendsebastian.bsky.social · 14d

Someone has left an unfashionable leather footstool on our drive overnight, what is this code for

Bellend Sebastian @bellendsebastian.bsky.social · 15d

35 years ago! There's a CD single of this in the loft somewhere #totp

Bellend Sebastian @bellendsebastian.bsky.social · 15d

Been offered free goldfish. A great day

Bellend Sebastian @bellendsebastian.bsky.social · 16d

Always a reason not to go to bed at a sensible time. Tonight it's eaten too much too late and haven't put the shopping away yet. Already had drank too much diet coke at a gig and sitting up researching pond filters this week

Bellend Sebastian @bellendsebastian.bsky.social · 16d

Here's your annual warning that if you're in the UK and want to own a dehumidifier get one now as soon everyone will have gone mad and bought every last one

Bellend Sebastian @bellendsebastian.bsky.social · 19d

I had NO idea. These sound fantastic

Sooz Kempner @soozuk.bsky.social · 19d

RIP JILLY COOPER! A queen who wrote THE most readable books in existence. People saw my thread of epic Jilly quotes and decided I was saying the books are shite. You COULDN'T be more wrong. Go and watch Rivals today.

Sooz Kempner @soozuk.bsky.social · Oct 18

🧵Some real Jilly Cooper quotes from her Rutshire Chronicles, the series of books that Rivals is from.

1) "Her breasts swayed like party balloons when the front door opens"

Bellend Sebastian @bellendsebastian.bsky.social · 20d

Update: the pond vacuum cleaner did not disappoint

Bellend Sebastian @bellendsebastian.bsky.social · 20d

I was almost perpetually depressed as a young person but if you'd told me that in my 50s my Sundays would consist of trying out a pond vacuum cleaner whilst listening to world war 2 podcasts I'd have perked right up

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Bellend Sebastian @bellendsebastian.bsky.social · 22d

Actual Napoleon Dynamite went to my colleagues' church last year and nobody saw fit to tell me about this