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I was on antique roadshow getting a wasp nest shaped like a snowman appraised, they valued it at 2.4 million dollars then pulled the episode because I kept saying Taiwan should enrich their own uranium
nearsighted Medusa turning faraway people into clay
February 11, 2026 at 5:01 AM
nearsighted Medusa turning faraway people into clay
I was on antique roadshow getting a wasp nest shaped like a snowman appraised, they valued it at 2.4 million dollars then pulled the episode because I kept saying Taiwan should enrich their own uranium
February 11, 2026 at 4:28 AM
I was on antique roadshow getting a wasp nest shaped like a snowman appraised, they valued it at 2.4 million dollars then pulled the episode because I kept saying Taiwan should enrich their own uranium
an mmorpg so large the minimap needs a minimap
February 11, 2026 at 4:19 AM
an mmorpg so large the minimap needs a minimap
first day as a fan-bearer I was fanning so hard the leaves fell into the king’s undergarment and he had to shake them out like a dog 😝 They’re throwing rocks at me tomorrow
February 11, 2026 at 4:13 AM
first day as a fan-bearer I was fanning so hard the leaves fell into the king’s undergarment and he had to shake them out like a dog 😝 They’re throwing rocks at me tomorrow
last night I shook a mason jar filled with seltzer to dissolve some syrup, the lid popped up and started fizzing even though it was clasped. I ended up setting the jar on the counter and backed away slowly as if it were a bomb
February 8, 2026 at 6:55 PM
last night I shook a mason jar filled with seltzer to dissolve some syrup, the lid popped up and started fizzing even though it was clasped. I ended up setting the jar on the counter and backed away slowly as if it were a bomb
bought a steel-hulled piñata. it’s been 2 hours and they’re still beating it with wooden bats. “You need armor-piercing rounds,” I tell them. but they don’t want to listen. Lawn covered in splinters and they don’t want to listen.
February 8, 2026 at 5:26 PM
bought a steel-hulled piñata. it’s been 2 hours and they’re still beating it with wooden bats. “You need armor-piercing rounds,” I tell them. but they don’t want to listen. Lawn covered in splinters and they don’t want to listen.
if a massive solar flare wiped out all electronics on earth the first thing my dumb ass would do is check for news on my phone
February 2, 2026 at 8:20 PM
if a massive solar flare wiped out all electronics on earth the first thing my dumb ass would do is check for news on my phone
to me airline miles carry the same juice as runescape gold or robux
February 1, 2026 at 4:41 AM
to me airline miles carry the same juice as runescape gold or robux
remembering this time a late gen x guy said "excuse me" while he was videoing on teams and then turned around to reveal his kid behind him blaring noise-cancelled music on an ipad
January 29, 2026 at 9:29 PM
remembering this time a late gen x guy said "excuse me" while he was videoing on teams and then turned around to reveal his kid behind him blaring noise-cancelled music on an ipad
for my first stepson I leave you a Youtube silver play button,
January 28, 2026 at 9:29 AM
for my first stepson I leave you a Youtube silver play button,
not the hair of my chinny chin chin bro
January 28, 2026 at 9:20 AM
not the hair of my chinny chin chin bro
Ooh a snail (giant truck blares past crushing it at 90mph) (my mind instantly regresses 20 years backward due to trauma) 😇 Snow day tomorrow
January 28, 2026 at 9:09 AM
Ooh a snail (giant truck blares past crushing it at 90mph) (my mind instantly regresses 20 years backward due to trauma) 😇 Snow day tomorrow
i've been embroiled in controversy since i shot my doctor with an unsecured gun in the maternity ward. babies born in the US have an instinct, like sea turtles crawling towards the Moon
January 28, 2026 at 9:05 AM
i've been embroiled in controversy since i shot my doctor with an unsecured gun in the maternity ward. babies born in the US have an instinct, like sea turtles crawling towards the Moon
roomba running over a hamster and completely shredding it apart
January 28, 2026 at 8:59 AM
roomba running over a hamster and completely shredding it apart
peter thiel brooding at his stainless steel desk with this painting backlit behind him
January 28, 2026 at 8:45 AM
peter thiel brooding at his stainless steel desk with this painting backlit behind him
my diet is so bad the doctor called my sample "manure"
January 28, 2026 at 8:36 AM
my diet is so bad the doctor called my sample "manure"
🙏 Time to deploy some esoteric knowledge on an oblivious harebrain
January 28, 2026 at 8:34 AM
🙏 Time to deploy some esoteric knowledge on an oblivious harebrain
theres really nothing stopping us from taking other people’s luggage on the carousel
January 28, 2026 at 3:31 AM
theres really nothing stopping us from taking other people’s luggage on the carousel
i let bowser use the guest bedroom and i can hear him stomping and shattering things
January 26, 2026 at 1:47 PM
i let bowser use the guest bedroom and i can hear him stomping and shattering things
At ease, playboy
January 26, 2026 at 1:44 PM
At ease, playboy
naming a pet after myself
January 26, 2026 at 9:09 AM
naming a pet after myself
January 25, 2026 at 10:45 AM