bonerheimer
@awfullymatt.bsky.social
this monster wanders the bodega, sucking dry any creatures it may encounter
Pinned
when i reach the champion skittle that survived being smooshed against all the others
matt
5'7"
likes: gyros, long walks on the beach, my dog
dislikes: getting launched from the big ACME slingshot into the side of the grand canyon
5'7"
likes: gyros, long walks on the beach, my dog
dislikes: getting launched from the big ACME slingshot into the side of the grand canyon
November 27, 2025 at 5:03 AM
matt
5'7"
likes: gyros, long walks on the beach, my dog
dislikes: getting launched from the big ACME slingshot into the side of the grand canyon
5'7"
likes: gyros, long walks on the beach, my dog
dislikes: getting launched from the big ACME slingshot into the side of the grand canyon
backwards long-jumping up the stairway to heaven since i don't have 70 stars
November 27, 2025 at 4:56 AM
backwards long-jumping up the stairway to heaven since i don't have 70 stars
held a mock election with all my appliances to see how they would vote and i'm now living in my '98 honda civic
November 26, 2025 at 7:10 PM
held a mock election with all my appliances to see how they would vote and i'm now living in my '98 honda civic
Reposted by bonerheimer
"You'll be visited by three spirits."
The three spirits:
The three spirits:
November 25, 2025 at 9:40 PM
"You'll be visited by three spirits."
The three spirits:
The three spirits:
when i reach the champion skittle that survived being smooshed against all the others
November 24, 2025 at 2:05 AM
when i reach the champion skittle that survived being smooshed against all the others
my fave star trek guy right there
November 16, 2025 at 3:29 AM
my fave star trek guy right there
asking my waiter for "the usual" and he suplexes my date then kisses me deeply
November 16, 2025 at 3:27 AM
asking my waiter for "the usual" and he suplexes my date then kisses me deeply
the only thing that can stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy who gives me a million-billion dollars for free and a gun
November 16, 2025 at 1:39 AM
the only thing that can stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy who gives me a million-billion dollars for free and a gun
Reposted by bonerheimer
I have some great news about this guy
The Border Patrol agent was the same one seen arresting a US citizen in Los Angeles at a Walmart
November 15, 2025 at 5:13 PM
I have some great news about this guy
Reposted by bonerheimer
He died doing what he loved: killing people.
November 15, 2025 at 5:16 PM
He died doing what he loved: killing people.
perhaps we stop buying the same slop from the same slop manufacturers?
no? oh, sorry ok. you're right this grool isn't too bad if you pinch your nose and chop off your tongue.
no? oh, sorry ok. you're right this grool isn't too bad if you pinch your nose and chop off your tongue.
Insulting to the players, insulting to the IP, insulting to the medium, the developers. And the craft itself. Fuck you executives who pushed this garbage.
frvr.com/blog/call-of...
frvr.com/blog/call-of...
Call of Duty: Black Ops 7 is littered with AI art slop, because your $70 means nothing anymore
Call of Duty: Black Ops 7 is littered with AI generated artwork which makes the $70 feel like a complete rip-off.
frvr.com
November 15, 2025 at 5:12 PM
perhaps we stop buying the same slop from the same slop manufacturers?
no? oh, sorry ok. you're right this grool isn't too bad if you pinch your nose and chop off your tongue.
no? oh, sorry ok. you're right this grool isn't too bad if you pinch your nose and chop off your tongue.
clear 'n yella?
you're hydrated, fella!
golden-brown?
you're in jaundice town!
you're hydrated, fella!
golden-brown?
you're in jaundice town!
November 15, 2025 at 5:09 PM
clear 'n yella?
you're hydrated, fella!
golden-brown?
you're in jaundice town!
you're hydrated, fella!
golden-brown?
you're in jaundice town!
HUMAN transmutation is forbidden, you say?..
*fondles Alf pog in pocket*
not a problem 😏
*fondles Alf pog in pocket*
not a problem 😏
November 15, 2025 at 5:30 AM
HUMAN transmutation is forbidden, you say?..
*fondles Alf pog in pocket*
not a problem 😏
*fondles Alf pog in pocket*
not a problem 😏
to the guy that prayed out loud for 20 minutes while i drove you to the airport, basically had freaky Jesus phone sex with your girlfriend, and then tipped $0 --
you've convinced me. I want in.
you've convinced me. I want in.
November 15, 2025 at 5:07 AM
to the guy that prayed out loud for 20 minutes while i drove you to the airport, basically had freaky Jesus phone sex with your girlfriend, and then tipped $0 --
you've convinced me. I want in.
you've convinced me. I want in.
I think the REAL treasure was the big giant chest full of rubies and gold and diamonds we found. But yeah, let's try to pay our rent with friendship. Idiot. 🙄
November 11, 2025 at 4:22 AM
I think the REAL treasure was the big giant chest full of rubies and gold and diamonds we found. But yeah, let's try to pay our rent with friendship. Idiot. 🙄
an ethnically diverse group of Catholics is a popery potpourri
November 7, 2025 at 12:49 AM
an ethnically diverse group of Catholics is a popery potpourri
ATTAK the GABBAGOOL
November 7, 2025 at 12:30 AM
ATTAK the GABBAGOOL
every time i try a new season of the Witcher, the recap makes me feel like i missed a secret in-between season where geralt became mayor of New York or opened a bakery
November 2, 2025 at 4:10 PM
every time i try a new season of the Witcher, the recap makes me feel like i missed a secret in-between season where geralt became mayor of New York or opened a bakery
Me watching Winnie the Pooh:
It's hard not to feel limited by this ursine's lack of trousers....
It's hard not to feel limited by this ursine's lack of trousers....
Extremely funny to see that Reze Arc's first negative critic review is the NYT being *so* close to getting it.
October 27, 2025 at 3:55 PM
Me watching Winnie the Pooh:
It's hard not to feel limited by this ursine's lack of trousers....
It's hard not to feel limited by this ursine's lack of trousers....
Two clowns walk into a Doctor's office.
"Why the long faces?" the doctor asks.
Cyrano de Bergerac turns to Pagliacci.
"Tell him what I told you."
And then they all kiss or something idk
"Why the long faces?" the doctor asks.
Cyrano de Bergerac turns to Pagliacci.
"Tell him what I told you."
And then they all kiss or something idk
October 25, 2025 at 7:01 PM
Two clowns walk into a Doctor's office.
"Why the long faces?" the doctor asks.
Cyrano de Bergerac turns to Pagliacci.
"Tell him what I told you."
And then they all kiss or something idk
"Why the long faces?" the doctor asks.
Cyrano de Bergerac turns to Pagliacci.
"Tell him what I told you."
And then they all kiss or something idk
practicing journaling for therapy
October 24, 2025 at 8:53 PM
practicing journaling for therapy
when it gets a lil windy and u got a toupee
October 19, 2025 at 11:23 PM
when it gets a lil windy and u got a toupee
doing an illegal lego build when the ATF busts in and opens my third eye
September 13, 2025 at 5:16 PM
doing an illegal lego build when the ATF busts in and opens my third eye