Praise-Abby Barebone
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arobertswrites.com
Praise-Abby Barebone
@arobertswrites.com
SFF writer and essayist you’ve never heard of. SocDem/progressive. Tolkien nerd. Armchair medievalist. She/her. Header by beloved.moe.

Website: arobertswrites.com
Newsletter: buttondown.email/arobertswrites
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For $0.00 you can read what Bret Devereaux (of ACOUP fame) called an "absolute banger of a Tolkien essay" and what my mom (of giving birth to me fame) called "very timely and relevant": "What Lies and Threats: Nationalist Myth-Making in The Lord of the Rings" on @speculativeinsight.bsky.social!
What Lies and Threats — Speculative Insight
Abby Roberts examines the use of national myth-making in JRR Tolkien's Lord of the Rings.
www.speculativeinsight.com
“And how did it feel, when you stole those pears?”
January 15, 2026 at 7:05 PM
Imagining Augustine narrating the Confessiones lying on God’s couch, and God taking notes like a therapist.
January 15, 2026 at 7:05 PM
God entering Augustine’s soul:
January 15, 2026 at 6:46 PM
It’s actually really funny when Augustine goes “you can come into the house of my soul, God, but fyi it’s got a lot if shit in it” like his soul is full of old takeout boxes and dirty laundry.
January 15, 2026 at 6:43 PM
Reposted by Praise-Abby Barebone
Nose. So. Cold.
January 15, 2026 at 2:53 PM
Reposted by Praise-Abby Barebone
January 15, 2026 at 3:15 PM
Love a good 30F feels like 16F day.
January 15, 2026 at 1:45 PM
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New nightmare unlocked
Charlie has figured out how to make the printer print test pages and now it’s all he wants to do.
January 15, 2026 at 1:25 PM
Aragorn is getting dragged to his eucatastrophe whether he wants it or not.
Aragorn: here it is! The old last stand! Death and I shall duel for one last time before we meet as friends.

Gandalf: what are you talking about. There are two doors. We can still escape.
January 15, 2026 at 1:29 PM
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this is great and true: "People operate within the constraints of their societies, the myths and rules that govern them. And while they can make a difference, they operate constrained by the culture and rules around them. Until, one day, they wake up and find that the rules no longer hold."
I don’t have anything clever to say here (you could argue that is true all the time, whether I know it or not. But why would you be that rude?) but this is a really excellent book by @lollardfish.bsky.social and @profgabriele.com and I think you should read it.
open.substack.com/pub/kcvellum...
History Rhyming: A Short Review of Oathbreakers
Should I Read This: Absolutely, even if medieval history is not necessarily your interest.
open.substack.com
January 15, 2026 at 1:22 PM
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January 15, 2026 at 1:10 PM
Have fun!
January 15, 2026 at 1:12 PM
Violet, when I try to give her eyedrops for her own good: aargh mother why do you torment me so?

Me: what about if you get cheese afterward

Violet: ah, for the sake of the delicious cheesy goodness, I will bear it
January 15, 2026 at 1:11 PM
Messed it up but shhhh
January 15, 2026 at 12:53 PM
Gimli: the world was young, the grass was—

The Beastie Boys: GREEN!

Gimli: no stain upon the moon was—

The Beastie Boys: SEEN!
January 15, 2026 at 12:51 PM
Aragorn: here it is! The old last stand! Death and I shall duel for one last time before we meet as friends.

Gandalf: what are you talking about. There are two doors. We can still escape.
January 15, 2026 at 12:48 PM
Pictures taken immediately before disaster.
The Company reach an arch with three passages, of which Gandalf has no memory. They move into a side chamber to rest. Pippin drops a stone down a well at the room’s centre. From far below they hear a hammer: tom-tap, tap-tom.

The others sleep while Gandalf smokes his pipe.
January 15, 2026 at 12:45 PM
Sick bars Gimli
‘There must have been a mighty crowd of dwarves here,’ says Sam, ‘busier than badgers.’ Gimli answers only with a song.

‘The world was young, the mountains green,
No stain yet on the Moon was seen,
No words were laid on stream or stone
When Durin woke and walked alone…’
January 15, 2026 at 12:45 PM
Fair enough lol
January 15, 2026 at 12:44 PM
Aragorn wasn’t planning to escape. He was like “guess I’ll die.”
Moria begins to echo with a series of rolling booms, like a vast drum. The Company hears Orcs running towards the chamber. They draw their weapons. Aragorn wants to bar both doors but Gandalf insists they leave the east door open, in case they can escape that way.
January 15, 2026 at 12:43 PM
“And even Sam” is funny. “You weren’t totally useless this time, you sack of potatoes.”
The chamber door is breached and the Company fights two short battles before they can flee. Orcs are felled by Aragorn, Boromir, Legolas, Gimli, and even Sam—but an orc-chieftain drives through them and pins Frodo with a spear. Frodo survives thanks to his secret mithril-coat.
January 15, 2026 at 12:42 PM
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‘You cannot pass. I am a servant of the Secret Fire, wielder of the flame of Anor. You cannot pass. The dark fire will not avail you, flame of Udûn. Go back to the Shadow! You cannot pass.’
January 15, 2026 at 12:39 PM
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We are with you, Twin Cities.

Please, *please* take care of yourselves and your neighbors, everyone. I don't have much faith left in this country, but I believe along with you that "the people, united, will never be defeated."
January 15, 2026 at 3:57 AM
500 monk words tonight. Making up for last night.
January 15, 2026 at 3:58 AM
Today I got feedback that the parts of my chapter that I intended to be funny were, in fact, funny. Which felt nice.
Artists, I think we're all too comfortable sharing our imposter syndrome.

I would love to see you step out of your comfort zone and confidently state what you think you're actually really good at.

No self deprecation, just what you think you're the strongest at

Is anyone brave eniough? 👀
January 15, 2026 at 3:57 AM