Andy
@andyk.bsky.social
Garbage Ape in the streets, Jimmy in the sheets. A nice lad from St. Louis. I invented uncrustables. I lie about having invented uncrustables. Crusts are cool.
I'm going to start pestering every shopkeeper about obtaining an unbreakable medieval guitar made of amber. I must have a resolute resin lute.
October 26, 2025 at 4:53 PM
I'm going to start pestering every shopkeeper about obtaining an unbreakable medieval guitar made of amber. I must have a resolute resin lute.
Jacob Elordi doesn't have the orange cat energy required to play Heathcliff.
September 29, 2025 at 7:40 PM
Jacob Elordi doesn't have the orange cat energy required to play Heathcliff.
I bet nobody loves Charlie Kirk enough to get this portrait tattooed on them.
September 23, 2025 at 11:47 PM
I bet nobody loves Charlie Kirk enough to get this portrait tattooed on them.
We're out there. Dreaming of this ham. Together.
![Ever Dream This Ham?
[Picture of Scout from "To Kill a Mockingbird" dressed like a ham]
Ever night, all over the world, hundreds of people see this food in their dreams. If this ham appears in your dreams too, or if you have any information that can help us identify it, please contact us.
www.thisham.org](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:nfevlcrsl2jdwgo5bkdbsgxg/bafkreictzenoihpafncdik35outziazvdug5wwd4zodcntlz7zr2cjhz5u@jpeg)
August 17, 2025 at 2:52 AM
We're out there. Dreaming of this ham. Together.
Look at these fancy-ass minions.
August 9, 2025 at 5:45 PM
Look at these fancy-ass minions.
It's a shame that @slicexpo.bsky.social was unable to secure Peter Gallagher (Heathcliff). Maybe 2026 will be the year.
August 4, 2025 at 12:32 AM
It's a shame that @slicexpo.bsky.social was unable to secure Peter Gallagher (Heathcliff). Maybe 2026 will be the year.
Progressive says they invented the Name Your Price Tool but members of the Republican party go back further than that. 😎
#badboyofcomedy
#badboyofcomedy
July 21, 2025 at 9:35 PM
Progressive says they invented the Name Your Price Tool but members of the Republican party go back further than that. 😎
#badboyofcomedy
#badboyofcomedy
I'll be honest- I have no idea what The Rock was cooking.
July 8, 2025 at 1:23 PM
I'll be honest- I have no idea what The Rock was cooking.
I've been everywhere, man.
I've been everywhere, man.
Crossed the desert in a plane and come to think of it there's a lot of places I haven't been so I'm sorry I misled you, man.
I've been everywhere, man.
Crossed the desert in a plane and come to think of it there's a lot of places I haven't been so I'm sorry I misled you, man.
July 3, 2025 at 1:58 AM
I've been everywhere, man.
I've been everywhere, man.
Crossed the desert in a plane and come to think of it there's a lot of places I haven't been so I'm sorry I misled you, man.
I've been everywhere, man.
Crossed the desert in a plane and come to think of it there's a lot of places I haven't been so I'm sorry I misled you, man.
There were actually TWO things "that" Meatloaf wouldn't do for love:
1. Pilates
2. Work the word "Pilates" into the beat.
1. Pilates
2. Work the word "Pilates" into the beat.
June 16, 2025 at 9:37 PM
There were actually TWO things "that" Meatloaf wouldn't do for love:
1. Pilates
2. Work the word "Pilates" into the beat.
1. Pilates
2. Work the word "Pilates" into the beat.
Today's kids can't call or write you a letter. And forget about seeing on the fourth of July or leaving a note that says uh woah oh, it's been good a living with you.
June 14, 2025 at 5:08 PM
Today's kids can't call or write you a letter. And forget about seeing on the fourth of July or leaving a note that says uh woah oh, it's been good a living with you.
I did it again, folks. I have, once again, placed my entire life savings on the line betting that @pftompkins.bsky.social is going to win After Midnight. Now, it's not as much as last time (because I lost everything) but if this goes wrong I'll have to sell organs. No presh.
June 12, 2025 at 6:07 PM
I did it again, folks. I have, once again, placed my entire life savings on the line betting that @pftompkins.bsky.social is going to win After Midnight. Now, it's not as much as last time (because I lost everything) but if this goes wrong I'll have to sell organs. No presh.
One more episode of After Midnight to go, then I can cancel Paramount+.
June 12, 2025 at 5:18 PM
One more episode of After Midnight to go, then I can cancel Paramount+.
@gamechangershow.bsky.social is afraid to have Eliza Skinner and Todd Glass pitch (terrible) products.
June 8, 2025 at 2:39 PM
@gamechangershow.bsky.social is afraid to have Eliza Skinner and Todd Glass pitch (terrible) products.
"I want Team Sonic Racing!"
"We have Team Sonic Racing at home."
Team Sonic Racing at home:
"We have Team Sonic Racing at home."
Team Sonic Racing at home:
June 8, 2025 at 2:37 PM
"I want Team Sonic Racing!"
"We have Team Sonic Racing at home."
Team Sonic Racing at home:
"We have Team Sonic Racing at home."
Team Sonic Racing at home:
Most people don't remember this but from 1965 until she was reimagined in 1975, Hello Kitty had a subtly different design.
June 8, 2025 at 3:51 AM
Most people don't remember this but from 1965 until she was reimagined in 1975, Hello Kitty had a subtly different design.
LOOK, I'M JUST SAYING THAT GALACTUS SHOULD HAVE A BIG MUSTACHE AND HE SHOULD SAY, "EARTH: IT'S WHAT'S FOR DINNER," AND THEN WE'LL ALL APPLAUD AND LEAVE AND HAVE SEX.
June 8, 2025 at 12:18 AM
LOOK, I'M JUST SAYING THAT GALACTUS SHOULD HAVE A BIG MUSTACHE AND HE SHOULD SAY, "EARTH: IT'S WHAT'S FOR DINNER," AND THEN WE'LL ALL APPLAUD AND LEAVE AND HAVE SEX.
Make Twitter* Fun Again
*This place. This place is Twitter. X is X. Dumb people not being funny: X. Deep breath. Fart noise.
*This place. This place is Twitter. X is X. Dumb people not being funny: X. Deep breath. Fart noise.
June 8, 2025 at 12:13 AM
Make Twitter* Fun Again
*This place. This place is Twitter. X is X. Dumb people not being funny: X. Deep breath. Fart noise.
*This place. This place is Twitter. X is X. Dumb people not being funny: X. Deep breath. Fart noise.
Fun fact: The movie Paint Your Wagon gets its name from the scene where there is uncontrolled horse diarrhea.
June 1, 2025 at 4:19 PM
Fun fact: The movie Paint Your Wagon gets its name from the scene where there is uncontrolled horse diarrhea.
How much for that doggy in the window? The one that doesn't practice santeria?
May 21, 2025 at 8:32 PM
How much for that doggy in the window? The one that doesn't practice santeria?
He's not the bonus dad. He's just the dad that bones us.
May 10, 2025 at 10:24 PM
He's not the bonus dad. He's just the dad that bones us.
New Trump executive order demands that @smithsonianmag.bsky.social mirror the art direction of 70s hotrod magazines.
May 10, 2025 at 5:02 PM
New Trump executive order demands that @smithsonianmag.bsky.social mirror the art direction of 70s hotrod magazines.
I'm going to reserve judgement until I see his thighs peaking out of his vestments but so far this new Pope isn't making me horny.
May 8, 2025 at 9:07 PM
I'm going to reserve judgement until I see his thighs peaking out of his vestments but so far this new Pope isn't making me horny.