Alistair King
@alistairking.bsky.social
560 followers 290 following 4.5K posts
If you’d be my bodyguard, I can be your long-lost pal.
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alistairking.bsky.social
Nice to see my follower count rise. My policy is to follow back people I know from elsewhere and generally follow others after there's been a bit of interaction. If I haven't followed you back despite knowing you, it's probably because you're using a different photo. Just like this and I'll rectify.
alistairking.bsky.social
To be clear, it's fine not to believe in Heaven and Hell. I don't think I could really claim to. But he's talked about the Bible being his favourite book. And 1 - self-deprecation, or maybe just a general lightheartedness - isn't impossible; it's just really not his style.
alistairking.bsky.social
A rare moment of humanity and self-awareness from Trump, perhaps.

But, on a slightly wanky serious point, which of the following does his answer suggest?

1) Self-depreciation
2) A belief he's going to Hell
3) That he doesn't believe in Heaven or Hell

3 seems most likely, suggesting hypocrisy.
acyn.bsky.social
Doocy: Does this help get you into heaven?

Trump: I don’t think there’s anything that’s going to get me into heaven. I think I’m not heaven bound.
Reposted by Alistair King
mrhenrymorris.substack.com
Mike's top five British values:

Beans
Toast
Mushrooms
Hash brown (American)
Sausage as a breakwater
alistairking.bsky.social
Yep. It’s disengagement coupled, I think, with a knee-jerk accusation that they don’t necessarily believe because they essentially don’t care about the charge.
alistairking.bsky.social
I’m not saying we should stop highlighting Nathan Gill’s dodgy association with Russia and what this says about Reform, I’m really not, but - and this isn’t a rhetorical question even though it sounds like one - has anyone seen any evidence, even anecdotal, that it’s harming Reform or Farage at all?
alistairking.bsky.social
I’d assumed an-TEE-fa but, thinking about it, it should really be anti-FA. Whatever you think of the movement (and, for the record, I’m strongly opposed to fascism!), it’s a bit of an annoying name, because there’s no syllable(s) to stress that doesn’t sound wrong or unnatural.
alistairking.bsky.social
I have. It’s very enjoyable.
alistairking.bsky.social
I’m looking for a detective drama where the main character is unorthodox and quirky but always gets results, and yet their colleagues are always - and I mean ALWAYS - really sceptical when they have left-field ideas, but it’s those very ideas that invariably get the results. Does such a thing exist?
alistairking.bsky.social
A front page that just oozes the sentiments of peace.
alistairking.bsky.social
OK, let’s answer this old thing…

Before it went bad, Twitter:

- Taught me to be more concise in my writing

- Increased my political awareness

- Got me a significant chunk of freelance work last year

- Established a handful of what I’d consider genuine friendships with people I first met there
conradhackett.bsky.social
Has anything great happened in your life because of social media?
alistairking.bsky.social
Totally share this annoyance. I'll grudgingly use my receipt if I have it but I won't go back for it if I haven't and will instead try to find a way to get through without (that ideally doesn't break the gates). There's another flaw in the system in that it compels people to buy when they enter.
alistairking.bsky.social
The use of 'Uncle' here has really made me chuckle. Brilliantly sinister. Well done, @robmanuelyeah.bsky.social.
fesshole.bsky.social
Free your conscience with a confession. Share it here with Uncle Fesshole: https://forms.gle/qqBxEsJ31Uawv6EY7
alistairking.bsky.social
Yeah, I think you'll be all right, Jeff.
Reposted by Alistair King
watsoncomedian.bsky.social
A dangerous criminal versus someone really intent on stopping crime, you say? Well that IS a showdown. Absolutely tantalising!
Enormous tube poster for Jeffrey Archer’s novel End Game. The shoutline: A DEADLY ASSASSIN, A RELENTLESS DETECTIVE, THE ULTIMATE SHOWDOWN.
alistairking.bsky.social
Does the picture they’ve used for this leaflet really capture the mood that either the sender or receiver would feel in light of this shittyTrump-induced move?
alistairking.bsky.social
If some money I'm waiting on comes through, I'll buy something in the run-up to Christmas. Remind me nearer the time if you like.
alistairking.bsky.social
Happy little fellow, isn't he?
alistairking.bsky.social
While idly and abortively Googling a list of programming languages so I could do some sort of royalty-based pun in response to this (excellent) observation, I stumbled on this and, pun-wise, I don't know whether to be impressed or appalled. If the latter, it deserved its fate of discontinuation.
Franz Lisp - Wikipedia
en.wikipedia.org
alistairking.bsky.social
Love this from Popbitch. Pretty tame in Glasgow, though, I bet.
alistairking.bsky.social
Personally, I prefer "cuntessentially English", a term I use to describe Nigel Farage and people who don't think he's an arsehole.
alistairking.bsky.social
Did you compound your crime with any follow-up jokes?

(If not, I hope this is the catalyst to do so.)
alistairking.bsky.social
Nice to hear Mark Bonnar discuss The Traitors on #r4today but, honestly, Nick, you needn’t introduce him as ‘*Scottish* actor’. Anyone who doesn’t know who he is is about to hear his very obviously Scottish accent, and even in print, it would be a bit weird. Scotland isn’t an obscure part of the UK.
alistairking.bsky.social
The literal low-level torture!

15 minutes on hold trying to get through to speak to a doctor while Mozart’s Piano Concerto No. 21 is played not for minutes on end but SIX BARS AT A TIME, punctuated by several seconds of hope-inducing big ultimately dashed ringing.

Then cut off. The fuckers.