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Alistair King

@alistairking.bsky.social

560 followers 290 following 4.5K posts

If you’d be my bodyguard, I can be your long-lost pal.

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Alistair King @alistairking.bsky.social · Nov 14

Nice to see my follower count rise. My policy is to follow back people I know from elsewhere and generally follow others after there's been a bit of interaction. If I haven't followed you back despite knowing you, it's probably because you're using a different photo. Just like this and I'll rectify.

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Alistair King @alistairking.bsky.social · 5h

To be clear, it's fine not to believe in Heaven and Hell. I don't think I could really claim to. But he's talked about the Bible being his favourite book. And 1 - self-deprecation, or maybe just a general lightheartedness - isn't impossible; it's just really not his style.

Alistair King @alistairking.bsky.social · 5h

A rare moment of humanity and self-awareness from Trump, perhaps.

But, on a slightly wanky serious point, which of the following does his answer suggest?

1) Self-depreciation
2) A belief he's going to Hell
3) That he doesn't believe in Heaven or Hell

3 seems most likely, suggesting hypocrisy.

Acyn @acyn.bsky.social · 6h

Doocy: Does this help get you into heaven?

Trump: I don’t think there’s anything that’s going to get me into heaven. I think I’m not heaven bound.

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Reposted by Alistair King

Henry Morris @mrhenrymorris.substack.com · 6h

Mike's top five British values:

Beans
Toast
Mushrooms
Hash brown (American)
Sausage as a breakwater

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Alistair King @alistairking.bsky.social · 18h

Yep. It’s disengagement coupled, I think, with a knee-jerk accusation that they don’t necessarily believe because they essentially don’t care about the charge.

Alistair King @alistairking.bsky.social · 18h

I’m not saying we should stop highlighting Nathan Gill’s dodgy association with Russia and what this says about Reform, I’m really not, but - and this isn’t a rhetorical question even though it sounds like one - has anyone seen any evidence, even anecdotal, that it’s harming Reform or Farage at all?

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Alistair King @alistairking.bsky.social · 19h

Not sure they’ve thought through the image to use with this story.

The Guardian @theguardian.com · 20h

Parents who film their children crying for clicks should take a good look at themselves | Rhiannon Lucy Cosslett

Toddlers have big feelings. But sharing their tantrums and pain on social media is not a ‘teachable moment’. It’s cruel, says Guardian columnist Rhiannon Lucy Cosslett

www.theguardian.com

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Alistair King @alistairking.bsky.social · 1d

I’d assumed an-TEE-fa but, thinking about it, it should really be anti-FA. Whatever you think of the movement (and, for the record, I’m strongly opposed to fascism!), it’s a bit of an annoying name, because there’s no syllable(s) to stress that doesn’t sound wrong or unnatural.

Alistair King @alistairking.bsky.social · 1d

Un solicited [sic] pic

Alistair King @alistairking.bsky.social · 1d

I have. It’s very enjoyable.

Alistair King @alistairking.bsky.social · 1d

I’m looking for a detective drama where the main character is unorthodox and quirky but always gets results, and yet their colleagues are always - and I mean ALWAYS - really sceptical when they have left-field ideas, but it’s those very ideas that invariably get the results. Does such a thing exist?

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Alistair King @alistairking.bsky.social · 2d

A front page that just oozes the sentiments of peace.

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Alistair King @alistairking.bsky.social · 2d

OK, let’s answer this old thing…

Before it went bad, Twitter:

- Taught me to be more concise in my writing

- Increased my political awareness

- Got me a significant chunk of freelance work last year

- Established a handful of what I’d consider genuine friendships with people I first met there

Conrad Hackett @conradhackett.bsky.social · 4d

Has anything great happened in your life because of social media?

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Alistair King @alistairking.bsky.social · 2d

Totally share this annoyance. I'll grudgingly use my receipt if I have it but I won't go back for it if I haven't and will instead try to find a way to get through without (that ideally doesn't break the gates). There's another flaw in the system in that it compels people to buy when they enter.

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Alistair King @alistairking.bsky.social · 2d

The use of 'Uncle' here has really made me chuckle. Brilliantly sinister. Well done, @robmanuelyeah.bsky.social.

fesshole 🧻 @fesshole.bsky.social · 2d

Free your conscience with a confession. Share it here with Uncle Fesshole: https://forms.gle/qqBxEsJ31Uawv6EY7

Alistair King @alistairking.bsky.social · 2d

Yeah, I think you'll be all right, Jeff.

Reposted by Alistair King

Mark Watson @watsoncomedian.bsky.social · 2d

A dangerous criminal versus someone really intent on stopping crime, you say? Well that IS a showdown. Absolutely tantalising!

Enormous tube poster for Jeffrey Archer’s novel End Game. The shoutline: A DEADLY ASSASSIN, A RELENTLESS DETECTIVE, THE ULTIMATE SHOWDOWN.

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Alistair King @alistairking.bsky.social · 2d

Does the picture they’ve used for this leaflet really capture the mood that either the sender or receiver would feel in light of this shittyTrump-induced move?

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Alistair King @alistairking.bsky.social · 2d

If some money I'm waiting on comes through, I'll buy something in the run-up to Christmas. Remind me nearer the time if you like.

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Alistair King @alistairking.bsky.social · 3d

Happy little fellow, isn't he?

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Alistair King @alistairking.bsky.social · 3d

While idly and abortively Googling a list of programming languages so I could do some sort of royalty-based pun in response to this (excellent) observation, I stumbled on this and, pun-wise, I don't know whether to be impressed or appalled. If the latter, it deserved its fate of discontinuation.

Franz Lisp - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

Alistair King @alistairking.bsky.social · 3d

Love this from Popbitch. Pretty tame in Glasgow, though, I bet.

Alistair King @alistairking.bsky.social · 3d

Personally, I prefer "cuntessentially English", a term I use to describe Nigel Farage and people who don't think he's an arsehole.

Alistair King @alistairking.bsky.social · 3d

Did you compound your crime with any follow-up jokes?

(If not, I hope this is the catalyst to do so.)

Alistair King @alistairking.bsky.social · 3d

Nice to hear Mark Bonnar discuss The Traitors on #r4today but, honestly, Nick, you needn’t introduce him as ‘*Scottish* actor’. Anyone who doesn’t know who he is is about to hear his very obviously Scottish accent, and even in print, it would be a bit weird. Scotland isn’t an obscure part of the UK.

Alistair King @alistairking.bsky.social · 3d

The literal low-level torture!

15 minutes on hold trying to get through to speak to a doctor while Mozart’s Piano Concerto No. 21 is played not for minutes on end but SIX BARS AT A TIME, punctuated by several seconds of hope-inducing big ultimately dashed ringing.

Then cut off. The fuckers.

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