Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

alarod.bsky.social @alarod.bsky.social · 6h

Headline: Is the New York Times the acme of Yellow Journalism or merely a liner for your parakeet cage?🤔

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alarod.bsky.social @alarod.bsky.social · 6h

NYT: Hellscapes can be a good thing sometimes!🤗

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alarod.bsky.social @alarod.bsky.social · 6h

NYT: Maybe hellscapes are a good thing!🤗

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alarod.bsky.social @alarod.bsky.social · 6h

“Yes, after all, Trump’s motives might be benign!”🙄

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alarod.bsky.social @alarod.bsky.social · 6h

But I didn’t mention Scottie in Star Trek.

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alarod.bsky.social @alarod.bsky.social · 6h

Ambrosia is at Merlin’s deathbed weeping copiously, while her son Aurelius looks on.
Aurelius: Grandfather, one last prophecy for the road!
Merlin: Caninus!
Aurelius: Yes?
Merlin: Beware of power!
Aurelius: What? What do you mean by that?
(But no answer comes, because Merlin has passed on)

alarod.bsky.social @alarod.bsky.social · 6h

I hear that “Braveheart; The Musical“ coming out. Mel Gibson is reprising the lead role, this time showing off his fine tenor voice.
He sings and dances his way to victory In finely choreographed fight scenes, though the finale is rather grim. Sean Connery plays his old leprous father with acumen.

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alarod.bsky.social @alarod.bsky.social · 6h

You don’t anymore? More’s the pity.

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alarod.bsky.social @alarod.bsky.social · 6h

Directly from Cthulhu to you.

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alarod.bsky.social @alarod.bsky.social · 13h

It’s like the Canadians who said “Talk white!” to the Quebecois.

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alarod.bsky.social @alarod.bsky.social · 13h

“Is that radar of yours correctly calibrated? May I see a guarantee from the manufacturer?”

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alarod.bsky.social @alarod.bsky.social · 13h

I think some of them are being willfully stubborn about learning.

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alarod.bsky.social @alarod.bsky.social · 13h

Trump: Well, it’s time to press the nuclear button. (presses it, but the nuclear box falls apart) Hey, what’s going on here?
Secret Service Agent: We couldn’t get replacement parts for the box because of your tariffs!

alarod.bsky.social @alarod.bsky.social · 13h

First American: What do you intend to do?
Second American: I’m going to go about my life until I get slaughtered.

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alarod.bsky.social @alarod.bsky.social · 13h

Finding Your Roots with Henry Gates!
Henry: Turn the page.
God: Hey, the chart is empty!
Henry: God, you don’t have any parents, you don’t even have a beginning! I couldn’t write anything!
God: Couldn’t you even put Me, Myself and I?
Henry: No, because you didn’t “descend“ from yourself!

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alarod.bsky.social @alarod.bsky.social · 13h

Paul Revere (frantically): The British aren’t coming, the British aren’t coming! They’re lying around drunk in the barracks!

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alarod.bsky.social @alarod.bsky.social · 13h

Finding Your Roots with Henry Gates!
Henry: Turn the page.
Jesus: My mom’s descended from King David, good. But … my dad’s side of the page is blank! How come!
Henry: No, I put God right there, look. But God doesn’t have a genealogy.
Jesus: I wouldn’t have this problem if dad was Prometheus!

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alarod.bsky.social @alarod.bsky.social · 14h

Justus (walking up to Jesus’ cottage in Tegea, his stump in a bandage): Dad, look what the Germans did to me in the Agri Decumates! They, they cut off my hand! I’m ruined!
Jesus (grabbing his stump forcefully): Good to see you again, son!
Justus: Ouch, you squeezed my hand too hard! Wait, my hand?

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