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Ian King

@twoht.bsky.social

5.2K followers 440 following 2.9K posts

Podcaster, (association) football writer, copywriter, $ubstacker. Writer for Football League World, also seen on Fotmob, When Saturday Comes. Come on in, the takes are *toasty*. London-born, Sussex based. He/him. https://unexpecteddelirium.substack.com

unexpecteddelirium.substack.com

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Ian King @twoht.bsky.social · 5h

(It's a poem, but it really reads like a song lyric)

Ian King @twoht.bsky.social · 5h

I am ten years older than the man in this song, and I fought in the Cold War (by being scared of it)

(I did go to the USSR, if that counts)

Take the clown statue and get out! WE DON'T HAVE ANY KIDS!!! @brainmage.bsky.social · Oct 27

Here is a v sharable and relatable poem that I wrote about how Thing Were Better In The Old Days

Sceenshot of a poem. It reads

You kids today, with 'net and games I fought in World War 2 You're not content with airfix planes, I fought in World War 2 In my day (nineteen ninety three), We didn't have what's yours Things were simpler, much less woke, I fought in both World Wars. School lunches, Oh! Pink custard too, Four channels on TV Not like the iphones you have now, Was simpler then, you see? "Image Macros" were all the rage, There was no twitch tv I fought in World War 2, respect The man who's forty three

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Ian King @twoht.bsky.social · 5h

A piece about a children's book.

unexpecteddelirium.substack.com/p/single-par...

Single Parenthood & I: The Invisible String That Connects Us

There's a children's book in our house which has taught me more about how to see the world and interpersonal relationships than any self-help book ever could.

unexpecteddelirium.substack.com

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Ian King @twoht.bsky.social · 8h

Morherlover just came on and I had to shut that off very quickly

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Ian King @twoht.bsky.social · 9h

I think my older kid may have just accidentally learned the facts of life from hearing I Just Had Sex by The Lonely Island

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Ian King @twoht.bsky.social · 1d

That is, aye

Ian King @twoht.bsky.social · 1d

Well, they are at least right about that

Ian King @twoht.bsky.social · 1d

Jesus, they're so thin-skinned

Miguel Delaney @migueldelaney.bsky.social · 1d

The England fans not too happy with Tuchel's comments about atmosphere

"Thomas Tuchel, we'll sing when we want"

"Are we loud enough for you"

Now: "Tuchel give us a wave"

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Ian King @twoht.bsky.social · 1d

A recurring theme of my adolescence and young adulthood

Terrace behind the goal at a football stadium with a tree in the middle of it. Three men in hi vis vests on the right at the top of the terrace, the goal on the far left.

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Ian King @twoht.bsky.social · 1d

Big fan of trees inside football grounds

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Ian King @twoht.bsky.social · 1d

Enjoying that this match appears to being played up the park

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Ian King @twoht.bsky.social · 1d

(Some judgement)

Ian King @twoht.bsky.social · 1d

NOMINATE EARLY AND NOMINATE OFTEN

TheFSA @thefsa.bsky.social · 1d

The FSA Awards 2025 are coming, and you get to help shape the shortlists - simply nominate your favourite writers, podcasters, players and pundits (and a whole bunch more besides) at bit.ly/fsa-noms-25 to make sure that they're in consideration...

FSA Awards 2025 nominations open now. Men's and women's players, pundits, commentators, football writers, podcasts, SLOs and much more - bit.ly/fsa-noms-25

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Ian King @twoht.bsky.social · 1d

Good lord, it's podcast time. Readers questions special this week, so the subject matter is broad this week. Join @samwhyte.bsky.social for angling, dogging and how much I'll pay to watch a non-league football match.

unexpecteddelirium.substack.com/p/the-footba...

The Football Kickback: International Break Readers Questions Special

This week, we've got dogging (not for the first time), angling (definitely for the first time) and the circumstances under which I'd pay £30 to watch a non-league match in a readers questions special.

unexpecteddelirium.substack.com

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Ian King @twoht.bsky.social · 2d

My dad is the nicest, kindest, jolliest man I've ever met. He's 89 on Wednesday. Dementia is getting to him, but what's really striking about him is how very pleased he is with the world. And he's packed a lot into in. Not much of it very exciting, but a lot nevertheless. He's a walking green flag.

Ź🖤🥀 @lalaspeaks.bsky.social · 2d

What’s ONE green flag about your father?

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Ian King @twoht.bsky.social · 2d

One of my kids duvet covers has got a zip, and that's a whole fresh circle of hell

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Ian King @twoht.bsky.social · 2d

Oh definitely, but I just wish they'd come up with a better solution by now

Ian King @twoht.bsky.social · 2d

Only perverts don't hate changing a bed

YouGov @yougov.co.uk · 2d

Ironing, dusting and cleaning the bathroom are Britons' most disliked chores

Cleaning bathroom: 45% dislike
Ironing: 43%
Dusting: 41%
Taking bins out: 32%
Washing up: 31%
Cleaning kitchen: 30%
Decluttering: 27%
Making bed: 27%
Vacuuming: 26%

yougov.co.uk/society/arti...

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Ian King @twoht.bsky.social · 2d

I think Horsham and Crawley both wish they were in Surrey

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Ian King @twoht.bsky.social · 2d

Last call for this. 45 minutes until we record :-)

Ian King @twoht.bsky.social · 2d

We're recording a readers questions special podcast tonight lieblings, so we're going to need your questions to make this happen!

Drop them in the replies and we'll get on them tonight :-)

Ian King @twoht.bsky.social · 2d

Totally, in fact the last time I heard it was brass band playing it in Horsham town centre. County anthem, innit.

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Ian King @twoht.bsky.social · 2d

I'm not usually a stickler for rules of this type, but it should be the law that all Sussex teams have to run out to Good Old Sussex By The Sea.

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Ian King @twoht.bsky.social · 2d

My biggest criticism of Worthing FC is the quality of their songs.

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Ian King @twoht.bsky.social · 2d

Okay. I am taller than that

Ian King @twoht.bsky.social · 2d

I am not in the Premier League

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