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Teddypasketti

@teddypasketti.bsky.social

1.5K followers 560 following 6.7K posts

Federal civil servant, lawyer, no other info for you about me. My picture is not of me. My opinions are mine own and not my employer’s. Let me underscore that: MY OPINIONS ARE MOST CERTAINLY NOT MY EMPLOYER’S.

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Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 9h

Good!

Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 11h

Oh, God, she cried *that* much??

Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 11h

Some Dick Tracy shit.

Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 1d

97 percent.

Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 1d

That look rocks.

Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 1d

Also, I didn’t suggest classical unicorns were horses with a horn glued on. Glue was not invented until 1946, with technology stolen from the Germans. Also, I have seen a friend in Wisconsin try to glue a horn on a horse on a dare. He now eats soup exclusively and uses a wheelchair.

Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 1d

Don’t even get me discussing Taurcents.

Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 1d

A Maidmer has the body of a Mermaid from the torso up, and the body of a human woman from the torso down.

Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 1d

Of course, and I didn’t mean to suggest that they were not wholly magical. But we know what they look like from illustrations. And a horsicorn is also magical because it has the magical body of a unicorn and the head of a horse.

Sort of like a Maidmer*.

Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 1d

Any woman responding to Heather’s post that doesn’t put “Are You There God, It’s Me, Margaret” on their list should reconsider their lives. And that goes for me, too. I’d replace almost any of my books with that.

Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 1d

Despite my interjectory comments below, I’m drunkenly bold enough to say: We can all pretend to be erudite by listing the most hoity books below, but you goddamned know that Curious George and Seuss and Richard Scarry’s books *owned us* as kids, and Judi Blume should be on your list, cowards.

Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 1d

I am here to tell you that I am familiar with the epic, lifetime dedicated work of Bob Caro—who also wrote the best single volume bio ever, of Robert Moses, that fucker—and he makes the self-fellating mewlings of George R.R. Martin embarrassing. Finish your dumb made-up fantasy book, George.

Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 1d

I do not mind saying that I have two “alerts” on my work newsfeed service. One is any case involving any case in my field. The second is anything to do with Caro. I want to know if he announces the next and last book, or if he stroked out in a tuna salad. Either will elicit immense emotions from me.

Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 1d

I’m convinced he will finish it. He will. It will cover most of LBJ’s Presidency and his death soon thereafter, and I think when he finishes it he will be soon to follow. But he will finish.

Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 1d

An undeniable desire of mine is for Caro to finish the last volume. He MOVED TO VIETNAM to finish it. With Ina. He’s devoted literally close to half a century to explore one President. He’s my greatest living writing hero. He’s meticulous. It’s astonishing.

Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 1d

Robert Caro is 89 years old. His closest research assistant is his wife, Ina Sloshberg. She’s been on this with him the whole time. He’s 89. The last volume, which he’s been writing for *seven* years, covers LBJ, Vietnam, and his death. HE IS 89.

Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 1d

Caro *moved* to Texas hill country for several years to be able to understand it, and his description in the first book is pure literature. It’s vivid. That was 1980 or whatever.

Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 1d

It’s the best, most investigative, deeply researched biography ever. He’s been working on this since 1982. He has written four volumes, more than 3,000 pages. And the last volume *only* gets to the first year of his presidency. It’s the single most epic work of writing I can think of.

Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 1d

Also, I can’t post book covers. I don’t own books. Never have. Fact is, and it’s embarrassing: I can’t read. I mean, I know letters and basic things. “Cat.” “House.” That stuff. Yes, I’m a lawyer. Not hard to be an illiterate lawyer, one’s the Attorney General. I faked it good. This is all dictated.

Reposted by Teddypasketti

Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social · 2d

Christ these two

Frog and Toad Bot @frogandtoadbot.bsky.social · 2d

Frog and Toad went back to the river.

They looked for the button in the mud.

15 79 1.2K

Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 1d

Yes, I get that it’s a white savior novel.

Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 1d

The Years of Lyndon Johnson: Vols. 1-4
The Color of Magic
So Long, And Thanks for All the Fish
A Confederacy of Dunces
The Princess Bride
Fear and Loathing in Los Vegas
Fletch
The Great Gatsby
Watchmen
Blood Meridian

No particular order except To Kill a Mockingbird. Always my number one.

Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 1d

I can’t do 20 days of book covers, I can barely go 20 days of flossing. So here:

To Kill a Mockingbird
Love in the Time of Cholera
Cyrano de Bergerac
Jitterbug Perfume
The Stand
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream
IT
A Christmas Carol
The Power Broker

Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 2d

John Yoo, who authored the DOJ memo justifying human torture up to and including waterboarding, has come out saying the current administration is overstepping clear legal lines, which, like, good lord.

Teddypasketti @teddypasketti.bsky.social · 2d

Oh, we drawing lines now? Bitch, don’t make me and my boys come there and take our Oral Bs and cut you away from plaque that, left over time, will create a tartar endangering your gum line! Step off, fool! ORAL B 4EVA, but also, seriously, don’t forget to floss.