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Detective 1: We found the victim's bones buried in the backyard.

Detective 2: You don't think...?

Detective 1: I do... Our killer is a dog. A very bad dog...

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Loathsome Shrew @shrewtape.bsky.social · Aug 31

Unbound Watto, Champion of Tatooine.

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Loathsome Shrew @shrewtape.bsky.social · Aug 31

Regularly injecting myself with capybara blood to chill out a little.

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Loathsome Shrew @shrewtape.bsky.social · Aug 31

Get back over here! The die is cast? You can play games with your friends later. The only consequences you need to worry about are what I'm going to do if you keep messing around over there.

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Loathsome Shrew @shrewtape.bsky.social · Aug 31

It's okay to collapse, but it doesn't have to be messy.

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Loathsome Shrew @shrewtape.bsky.social · Aug 31

Loving life should not hurt this much.

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Loathsome Shrew @shrewtape.bsky.social · Aug 30

In a sense, but it can reason and help with chores.

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Loathsome Shrew @shrewtape.bsky.social · Aug 30

Inventing a new type of human that will never betray me.

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Loathsome Shrew @shrewtape.bsky.social · Aug 30

High school was a blur; I was spinning around going "WHEEEEEEEEEE!!!" the whole time.

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Reposted by Loathsome Shrew

Santana Abraxas @slime-golem.biz · Aug 30

Hey, you cant worship that!!

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Loathsome Shrew @shrewtape.bsky.social · Aug 30

😏 🪺

😋 🪹

🦅
🏃

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Loathsome Shrew @shrewtape.bsky.social · Aug 30

"It's a dog-eat-dog world." You should aspire to be more than a canine cannibal.

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Loathsome Shrew @shrewtape.bsky.social · Aug 30

My nutritionist put me on a raw grain diet and cast me out to graze with the beasts of the field.

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Loathsome Shrew @shrewtape.bsky.social · Aug 30

When one door closes, another door opens, according to the Law of Conservation of Opportunity.

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Loathsome Shrew @shrewtape.bsky.social · Aug 30

I haven't accepted the offer yet. Need some time to think it over. I've never held a leadership position before, much less the power of life and death over my employees.

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Loathsome Shrew @shrewtape.bsky.social · Aug 30

I sent an email to Bluesky inquiring when group chats will be available and they replied, asking me "What's that?"

After I explained, they said "That's a great idea" and "You're a smart guy" and they offered me to "join our merry band of misfits" as a "front-and-backend developer."

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Loathsome Shrew @shrewtape.bsky.social · Aug 30

"Not a significant source of Vitamin D"
What? Why am I drinking this?

"Same Great Flavor!"
Ah... Now I remember.

"Can you solve the maze? ⤵️"
A test of wits, eh? I believe you will find me the equal of Theseus.

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Reposted by Loathsome Shrew

shrieeek.computer @beeep.computer · Aug 30

We're doing this from now on

icon of two people frolicking with two large leaves over them

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Reposted by Loathsome Shrew

little lamb @puddleofbrain.bsky.social · Aug 30

Alcoholism is a type of subculture like steampunk or professional managerial class

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