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Miss Pearl 🍁

@omisspearl.bsky.social

1.6K followers 1.4K following 3.8K posts

Find me at omisspearl.com Author, blogger, dominant and occasionally community (dis)organizer. I talk about lifestyle femdom and stuff. Often I tilt at windmills. No, I will not be your dominant. (she/they) 18+ posts may occur.

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Miss Pearl 🍁 @omisspearl.bsky.social · Sep 6

New blog post is live!

"The Unbearable Submissive Ego Of Domme Songs"

www.omisspearl.com/nonfiction/t...

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Miss Pearl 🍁 @omisspearl.bsky.social · 45m

Doing the online bra shopping nonesense. Did the bra that fits system, for sized into a 32H UK. This is too ridiculously large. Not even "I can't be that big!" But the gore slices into my chest and the cups are baggy.

Miss Pearl 🍁 @omisspearl.bsky.social · 8h

It may go better. Gravol or benedryl help if not.

Miss Pearl 🍁 @omisspearl.bsky.social · 9h

I had to use benedryl and off brand gravol for like a week once to help with a month long come down with a part so bad I basically lost three days to the dizzy. And that was a supervised taper.

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Miss Pearl 🍁 @omisspearl.bsky.social · 19h

Btw, if you are among the many folks I know, me included, who *need* kink for sex to seem appetizing, that's one of the "circumstances" people refer to.

Oh Joy Sex Toy @ohjoysextoy.bsky.social · 4d

What better way to celebrate Asexual Awareness Week than by spillin' the asexualiTEA with @sparklemaia.bsky.social! 1/2
www.ohjoysextoy.com/ace-101-spar...

Ace 101 by sparklemaia, published November 12, 2023 on https://www.ohjoysextoy.com/ace-101-sparklemaia

Page 1
Two figures sit in a lavender living room that's very comfy and has lots of cats around. They are drinking tea.

Maia: -and that's why I can't go back like, ever again.

Friend: Completely fair. Speaking of fair: how was the maker faire?

Maia: Rad! That's where I got this sweet hat!

IMAGE: Close-up on Maia's black baseball hat, which has the black, gray, white, and purple-striped Asexuality flag on it.

IMAGE: Friend holding tea mug and talking.

Friend: It's... a pride flag... it's on the tip of my brain- Oh! The asexual flag!

Friend: You posted about being ace in April! Full disclosure: I googled it, but I'm still pretty vague on what asexuality is... I think it's the "A" in LGBTQIA? But I still have, like, so many questions.

Maia: I'd love to be your ace wiki for the day, if you're down?

Friend: Ohh, yes please!

Maia: Great, this is my jam. Let's spill the tea on asexuali-TEA!

Maia: So, what would you say attraction feels like?

Friend: Hmm... I guess it's like a strong pull towards someone?

IMAGE: The friend leans forward to stroke a gray-striped cat that hopped on their table and is walking towards them.

Maia: Totally! But it took some super personal chats with my all- (non-ace) -friends to realize we meant different things when we talked about being into someone. It turns out that attraction- that pull- is made up of different parts.

IMAGE: Another table houses multiple bowls of looseleaf teas, with a sign proclaiming, "Build your own!". Each bowl is labeled differently: Sensual, Romantic, Sexual, Aesthetic

Maia: I've got romantic attraction in spades. It's just that for me, that romantic attraction isn't linked to sexual attraction.

Friend: So, when you feel drawn toward someone, you just don't... have the desire to bone them?

Maia: Pretty much! And that's what asexual means: little to no sexual attraction.

Friend: Hold up... a 'little' bit of sexual attraction still counts as ace?

Maia: Yeah, it's not always an all-or-nothing thing. Some people experience sexual attraction rarely, or only under certain circumstances, or just at very low levels. It's kind of a spectrum.

Friend: I guess that tracks, very few things in life are totally black and white!

Maia (gesturing at the black, gray, white, purple-striped Asexual flag): Exactly. That's what the grey is for. Anyone who feels like they don't totally vibe with a 'typical' allo experience is welcome, even if they're in that grey zone between allo and 'absolute zero' sexual attraction.

Friend: Sounds like there's lots of SPACE- in ACE!

IMAGE: Maia plants the Ace flag on the moon, waving at a rocket (also emblazoned with the ace flag) as it cruises by.

Maia: Haha, yep! My ace experience might not be the same as someone else's, but the label gives us a starting place for finding common ground.

IMAGE: Back in the tea house, the friend observes two cats curled up on a shelf on the wall.

Friend: Something I still don't get: you've talked about crushes and dates and stuff before. Are your dates just Netflix and actual chill?

Maia: Haha, sometimes! But other times I do take it to the bone zone. For me, sex is often about emotional intimacy with my partner. Heck, sometimes I just need to scratch a biological itch, even if my body isn't pointing me towards a specific person to get it done. Plus, for me, it feels good!

Friend: Whoa, you actually... like sex?

Maia: Yeah, there's even a word for it in ace space: sex-favorable. And whether sex favorable, sex-indifferent, or sex-repulsed, all aces are still ace.

IMAGE: Three cats illustrate the different states of asexual sexual interest.
Sex-Favorable cat smiles and approaches a hand to be pet.
Sex-Indifferent cat sits by itself, licking its paw.
Sex-Repulsed cat is all puffed up and hissing.

Reposted by Miss Pearl 🍁

Oh Joy Sex Toy @ohjoysextoy.bsky.social · 4d

What better way to celebrate Asexual Awareness Week than by spillin' the asexualiTEA with @sparklemaia.bsky.social! 1/2
www.ohjoysextoy.com/ace-101-spar...

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Miss Pearl 🍁 @omisspearl.bsky.social · 19h

It's a good idea to have back up including to check end of year summaries, but tax offices usually have a statue of limitations type deal where they have to accept your filing and records can be safely shredded. 🤓

Eg IRS, YMMV by country

www.irs.gov/businesses/s...

How long should I keep records? | Internal Revenue Service

Get tips on record retention -- Learn the period of limitation on income tax returns, connecting records with property and keeping records for nontax purposes.

www.irs.gov

Miss Pearl 🍁 @omisspearl.bsky.social · 19h

This is a great time to remind you that @heatherguerre.bsky.social has not one (but two) excellent femdom romances and that "What Was Meant To Be" is cozy autumn vibes AND good autism rep.

www.romance.io/books/643800...

What Was Meant To Be by Heather Guerre

Rated 3.7/5 stars. Spice/Steam/Heat level: 4/5 - Explicit open door. 'What Was Meant To Be' is tagged as contemporary, marriage of convenience, arranged marriage, forced proximity, slow burn, fem-dom,...

www.romance.io

Reposted by Miss Pearl 🍁

Electronic Frontier Foundation @eff.org · 14d

Happy Amazon Prime Day! Amazon collects mountains of data about how you use the service, but there is a setting you can change to make it harder for the company to use that data to sell you more things. #OptOutOctober www.eff.org/deeplinks/2...

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Miss Pearl 🍁 @omisspearl.bsky.social · 19h

I know, right?

Miss Pearl 🍁 @omisspearl.bsky.social · 21h

If you post AI crap, even to promo another writer, I am going to unfollow you and block them. ❤️

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Miss Pearl 🍁 @omisspearl.bsky.social · 1d

Oh no, step brother, one of the chairs from our glass topped patio dining set has gotten stuck in the dryer! Step brother, don't fuck one of our glass topped metal patio set with vaguely Tuscan accent chairs!

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Miss Pearl 🍁 @omisspearl.bsky.social · 1d

I respect this is simply not my kink, but incest feels about as inherently erotic as the participants being transformed into an early aughts glass topped metal patio set.

It's not a disgust reaction, per say. More one of bewilderment.

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Reposted by Miss Pearl 🍁

𝕊𝕒𝕘𝕖🍃 @sagegarnish.bsky.social · May 8

A comic about CNC kink I've been thinking about for a few years, and I finally decided to sit down and make it.

Consensual Non-Consent In Real Life

A 3 panel comic

Panel 1: Kink Negotiation

Blushing Person: I was thinking maybe we could try out some CNC play...

Person #2: Yeah, we can totally try that out, sweetie! We should plan out what we're willing to do!

Panel 2: "The Scene"

Person #2: The sex pollen.... it's... taking over. I... I can't...Hnngg....

Blushing Person: Noo! Please, you have to snap out of it!

Panel 3: Aftercare
Blushing Person: Thanks so much, that was fun. Let's do it again sometime.

[end of comic]

"The Scene" is the fantasy within a CNC framework.

Some fictional works tell a story depicting two (or more) characters following the process of doing CNC kink, just as they would in real life: Consent discussion, Kink negotiation, “The Scene", and Aftercare.

[image of a blushing person reading the above comic]

Some fictional works focus on “The Scene only. A framing device is not required, as the fantasy is contained fully within the story. This lets the reader engage in the kink the same way as if they were engaging in “The Scene" portion of the CNC play.

[image of a blushing person reading only “The Scene” panel from the above comic]

CNC play, and both sorts of fiction are normal and healthy!

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Miss Pearl 🍁 @omisspearl.bsky.social · 1d

@nicolerprause.bsky.social is a great place to start for this sort of research. That is to say, the psychology of people who think sex is addictive to them, either alone or with others.

Miss Pearl 🍁 @omisspearl.bsky.social · 1d

The bonus tragedy is the number of folks who snark, but despite progressive politics, still think a masturbation addiction is real.

Self identified sex (and porn!) addicts do not masturbate more than anyone else. They just feel more shame when they do.

Ryan Broderick @ryanhatesthis.bsky.social · 21d

"starting nofap in 1/2 months"

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Miss Pearl 🍁 @omisspearl.bsky.social · 1d

And there's a secular version of this that claims you will ruin your sexuality through some warmed over version of degeneration theory. So sex advice forums are full of dudes aged 18-26 convinced they wrecked ability to feel "good" attraction. It would be funny if they weren't so sincerely upset.

Miss Pearl 🍁 @omisspearl.bsky.social · 1d

A lot of very Christian kids don't get the "it's natural, just do it in your room" talk, they get the Kellogg style scare tactic that it will make you into a weak willed monster or the idea it will ruin your ability to be loved.

It blends with new age garbage about essentially building Yang energy.

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Miss Pearl 🍁 @omisspearl.bsky.social · 1d

They are not actually addicted. Per research, self identified sex (and porn!) addicts don't have sex or look at porn more than the general population, they just get more upset about it when they do.

The GOP is full of men completely filled with despair they aren't pure, basically.

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Miss Pearl 🍁 @omisspearl.bsky.social · 1d

I would warn no good comes of that, but I read "In Fair Verona" and "no good" seems to be a typical hazard in the gorgeous sapphic Italian renaissance-verse.

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Miss Pearl 🍁 @omisspearl.bsky.social · 1d

This appears to be virtually every straight man I have ever met under the age of 50.

Miss Pearl 🍁 @omisspearl.bsky.social · 1d

Oh yes! And to get abusively nasty at any sex workers who has the temerity not to perform perfect victimhood for them.

Miss Pearl 🍁 @omisspearl.bsky.social · 1d

I have never met someone who spends and inordinate amount of time obsessing on how evil men are, who didn't turn out to be steeped in misogyny as well.

Zach Weinersmith @zachweinersmith.bsky.social · 5d

Do you have any extremely niche, but serious, ethical stances?

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Miss Pearl 🍁 @omisspearl.bsky.social · 1d

When you have the perfect little casserole dish, but nothing to make in it.

A brown ceramic casserole dish, capped with a serious looking crouching rabbit. Faux autumn leaves are in the background.

Miss Pearl 🍁 @omisspearl.bsky.social · 1d

It's always awkward to have to rub elbows with people who passionately hate fun. 🎃

Miss Pearl 🍁 @omisspearl.bsky.social · 1d

I used to use a little flip notebook to give people trying to do dick reveals an Olympic figure skating style score.

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