Author | Lightnews

Reposted by Mike Keenan

Bethany Black @bethanyblack.bsky.social · 1d

it’s a year ago today my pal Janey died, there’s not a day goes by I don’t think of her. Miss you, pal

Janey Godley being approached by a police officer at Turnberry golf course holding a sign saying “Trump is a cunt”

17 190

Reposted by Mike Keenan

✨ A Goddess has NO KING ✨ @the-goddess-speaks.bsky.social · 2d

Via @anadelcastillo

8 54 200

Mike Keenan @mikekeenan.bsky.social · 3d

Right. What’s next?

A pumpkin with the words “Happy Christmas” carved into it.

Mike Keenan @mikekeenan.bsky.social · 3d

A great night at home tonight for Halloween.

Mike Keenan @mikekeenan.bsky.social · 3d

Took my son into the city earlier to see a marching band. We were talking about what he wants to be when he grows up.

I might have gone a bit overboard.

A middle-aged, slightly overweight man dressed in an outfit resembling that of The Black Parade.

Mike Keenan @mikekeenan.bsky.social · 4d

Andrew’s new title.

Reposted by Mike Keenan

Tom Phillips @tom-phillips.com · 4d

me muting the phrase "artist formerly known as"

1 3 31

Reposted by Mike Keenan

Glennyrodge @glennyrodge.bsky.social · 17d

Oh, the grand old duke of york
He ██████████████████
He ██████████████████
And he ██████████████████

14 240 680

Mike Keenan @mikekeenan.bsky.social · 5d

After last year’s mind blowing nomination for Best Debut with my first ever hour, I’m headed back to @leicscomedyfest.bsky.social in Feb.

Come along to and see if I can finally justify my mid-life turn to stand up comedy.

events.comedy-festival.co.uk/events/mike-...

Reposted by Mike Keenan

Brian Bilston @brianbilston.bsky.social · 6d

Today’s Halloween-based poem is called ‘Pumpkin’.

Pumpkin

was what she called him
because she knew
he’d always held a candle for her

that his head was huge,
fleshy and orange
were further contributory factors

Brian Bilston

9 73 290

Mike Keenan @mikekeenan.bsky.social · 6d

Never.

1

Mike Keenan @mikekeenan.bsky.social · 6d

After last year’s mind blowing nomination for Best Debut with my first ever hour, I’m headed back to @leicscomedyfest.bsky.social in Feb.

Come along to and see if I can finally justify my mid-life turn to stand up comedy.

events.comedy-festival.co.uk/events/mike-...

Reposted by Mike Keenan

Anna Thomas @annathommy.bsky.social · 6d

What’s wrong with my fish?????? Why’re they swimming like that????

1 5

Mike Keenan @mikekeenan.bsky.social · 6d

My silly planetarium joke ended up on this list. Thanks @thepokeuk.bsky.social .

thepokeuk.bsky.social @thepokeuk.bsky.social · 6d

25 of the funniest posts we’ve seen on Bluesky this week.
www.thepoke.com/2025/10/29/2...

1 3

Mike Keenan @mikekeenan.bsky.social · 7d

Adverts should be representative of traditional British families.

Mike Keenan @mikekeenan.bsky.social · 7d

‪My wife just asked me what Mansplaining means.

1 3

Mike Keenan @mikekeenan.bsky.social · 7d

Say what you like about Farage but he really tells it like it used to be.

1

Reposted by Mike Keenan

Ewamore, Quoth the Raven @ewacat.bsky.social · Aug 1

If you're looking for the clown, he's two storm drains over

little raccoon in a US storm drain peering through the gap looking innocent as only chaotic little raccoons do

47 290 1.6K

Mike Keenan @mikekeenan.bsky.social · 8d

I’ve just been to the world’s worst planetarium.

One star.

8 110 610

Mike Keenan @mikekeenan.bsky.social · 8d

Majestic.

A sad little England flag, wrapped around a lamppost, tattered and rain soaked.

Another England Flag, dangling limply above a set of traffic lights. It seems to scream “have mercy, kill me”

Finally, another England flag which has partly detached from the lamppost which some knuckle-dragging imbecile has lashed it onto.

1

Mike Keenan @mikekeenan.bsky.social · 9d

Your clocks go back tonight. So you get an extra hour in bed.

Top tip. If you set them 2 hours back, you get an extra 2 hours in bed.

Mike Keenan @mikekeenan.bsky.social · 12d

Just back from a few days in Paris. Can someone show me how to use Vinted?

1

Mike Keenan @mikekeenan.bsky.social · 13d

If you can smell French toast, you may be having un accident vasculaire cérébral.

2

Mike Keenan @mikekeenan.bsky.social · 15d

My son made his stand up debut today at The Frog. After Me and then his sister, he completes the Keenan Rule of Three.

He smashed it, great jokes and fantastic presence. If he wins an award before me we’re going to fall out.

Well done son. Let’s carshare to gigs but I’m expecting petrol money.

3

Mike Keenan @mikekeenan.bsky.social · 15d

There’s only one thing worse than being talked about and that’s being named and shamed on a local Facebook group.