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Cassie 🎃 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius

@kweencassie.bsky.social

3.2K followers 7.6K following 24K posts

kween; expert opinion giver; supergenius; visionary leader; aspiring model; EXTREME; famous; icon; subtle; delicate; probably not a doctor but identify as one: she/tree/it/shit. Here for all that they and gay shit. You could be my next hit of dopamine.

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Cassie 🎃 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius @kweencassie.bsky.social · 5h

I know that I make jokes about being a poor pathetic bitch, but those aren't jokes, guys. I need your help. I'll list my reasons below, and here are my links for now:

www.paypal.com/paypalme/Cas...

cash.app/$CassieABassie

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Cassie 🎃 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius @kweencassie.bsky.social · 40m

It can indeed, my friend. It can in-fucking-deed.

Maj @lif3asmaj.blacksky.app · 42m

Feeling a lot better now. I’m still a bit light headed, drained & nauseous, but I think I’ll be 100% by tomorrow.

Nausea can suck a fat one.

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Cassie 🎃 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius @kweencassie.bsky.social · 41m

❤️❤️❤️❤️

Cassie 🎃 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius @kweencassie.bsky.social · 41m

Oh yeah, bro looks like he's nearly dead frfr, LFG

Cassie 🎃 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius @kweencassie.bsky.social · 1h

WAR SICKNESS DEATH DESTRUCTION FASCISM RACISM SEXISM ANTI-LGBTQ+ ANTI-EVERYTHING WOKE BROKE JOKE COKE

Goddamn. Enough.

Cassie 🎃 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius @kweencassie.bsky.social · 1h

Actually, Gary, I've been thinking about visiting California for a while now. I have several invites out west, and I'd love to treat you to some possum pie.

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Cassie 🎃 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius @kweencassie.bsky.social · 1h

I can't afford to lose hope. I must remember that I will be out of here soon.

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Cassie 🎃 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius @kweencassie.bsky.social · 2h

Okay. Now I gotta meet with another Craigslist killer. Brb.

Cassie 🎃 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius @kweencassie.bsky.social · 2h

Meh. It's fine. We'll pull through. Like cockroaches, we'll survive a nuclear blast and fallout.

a cartoon dog is sitting at a table with a cup of coffee in front of a fire with the words this is fine above him .

ALT: a cartoon dog is sitting at a table with a cup of coffee in front of a fire with the words this is fine above him .

media.tenor.com

Cassie 🎃 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius @kweencassie.bsky.social · 2h

I may be broke as shit and on the verge of a mental breakdown, but at least it's a gorgeous day out here

Cassie 🎃 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius @kweencassie.bsky.social · 2h

Bro really pulled up with a Playskool trailer believing he'd load this beast on it lol

Cassie 🎃 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius @kweencassie.bsky.social · 3h

you can get this thing loaded and out of here, bring two hundred cash-money and she's all yours.

Guys, ain't no way. Lmfao Ain't no motherfuckin' way in hell he's getting that beast of a tree trunk out of here the way he plans to. But I'm all too happy to watch him try. Lmao

a group of people are sitting in a park with a white truck in the background .

ALT: a group of people are sitting in a park with a white truck in the background .

media.tenor.com

Cassie 🎃 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius @kweencassie.bsky.social · 3h

an engine hoist to load 'er on there."

Me: Sir. Forgive me, sir, but there's just no way an engine hoist could handle something this size. I don't think that'll work.

Dude[still scratching his head]: "I'll find a way to git 'er outta here—will you take a couple hundred?"

Me: I tell you what, if

Cassie 🎃 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius @kweencassie.bsky.social · 3h

will snap the trailer you brought in.

Dude[scratching his head]: "I might could maybe borrow one frum my brother. How much ya askin' fer it?"

Me: Make an offer—but first, let's discuss the mechanics behind how you intend to get this ENORMOUS piece of wood onto a trailer.

Dude: "I reckon we'd use

Cassie 🎃 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius @kweencassie.bsky.social · 3h

trailer of yours?

Dude: "Yes'm, I reckon."

Me: This thing is ten feet long, four feet wide, and weighs hundreds of pounds, sir.

Dude: "Yes'm. I ain't gonna lie to ya, she's bigger 'an I thought she'd be."

Me: Do you have a bigger trailer? Because I'm gonna be honest with you, man, this thing

Cassie 🎃 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius @kweencassie.bsky.social · 3h

A dude just showed up dragging the tiniest trailer I've ever seen behind his pickup truck.

Me: Are you the guy who's interested in the ten-foot section of pecan?

Dude: "Yes'm."

Me[walking him back to the trunk of a 200-year-old tree]: And you're planning to pull it out of here with that little

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Cassie 🎃 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius @kweencassie.bsky.social · 4h

I gotta get my ass in gear. There's so much to catch up on.

Y'all have a good one.

Cassie 🎃 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius @kweencassie.bsky.social · 4h

Thank you, @lahlee.bsky.social! ❤️ It's been awhile since I logged into PayPal. I'm sorry it took so long to thank you.

Cassie 🎃 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius @kweencassie.bsky.social · 4h

You gotta get better so you can pwn me, hater. 🩷

Cassie 🎃 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius @kweencassie.bsky.social · 5h

Damn, man, it sounds like you got the sickness too. I ate orange Jell-O for like five straight days. My thoughts were 1) at least it felt like I was full and 2) my vomit would be less gross-tasting.

I hope you feel better soon.

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Cassie 🎃 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius @kweencassie.bsky.social · 5h

iNsiDe tHoUgHtS, cAsSiE

No. If I have to think about them, you have to read about them.

Cassie 🎃 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius @kweencassie.bsky.social · 5h

When I go to unfamiliar places, I always bring an extension cord just in case I need it to choke someone out. Sometimes I bring along a baseball bat and glove, other times a knife that is within legal limits. I'm very sure this is totally normal behavior though. Thanks, Dad. You did a phenomenal job

Cassie 🎃 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius @kweencassie.bsky.social · 5h

I honestly can't think of anything worse. Pass.

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Cassie 🎃 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius @kweencassie.bsky.social · 5h

The next person I'm selling firewood to sounds less like a murderer, so of course that means that they are one. Wish me luck. 🫡

Cassie 🎃 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius @kweencassie.bsky.social · 5h

There ain't shame in it, Queen. <3 You know that.

Cassie 🎃 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius @kweencassie.bsky.social · 5h