Interesting thanks. Hmmm.

I'm not even 40 yet but I've lived such an extremely unhealthy Lifestyle from age 11 or 12 that to me it's very strange there's no obvious signs of being unwell in blood tests.
Even my lungs are in ok shape after putting lots of carcinogenic crap through them.
Poison must've gone somewhere but where

Thanks. I really don't know what's going on yet so please don't be worried on my behalf.
I'm just a rather strange stranger on the internet.
There could be other less serious and more easily treatable explanations.
It's just I live by the words:
Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.
Maya Angelou

One had trouble taking bloods, which isn't usually an issue tho happens occasionally.
I don't blame her but she was constantly apologising for hurting me bless her.
I didn't realise until I'd got back and taken the cotton swab and tape off that I was quite noticeably bruised. Cleared up quickly tho.

So to go through the above list I tick enough that I absolutely should be crapping my pants with fear.
Yet I can't FEEL fear or anxiety.
I did for years, constant anxiety until very recently.
Now instead I feel pain, & a sense of "nope I don't like this" but not anxious.
Part of me has gone missing.

What are you supposed to think if you google brain tumour symptoms, you have something like the majority of all symptoms minus vomiting & a couple others.
Suddenly often tripping when walking around a corner.
When twenty years ago you dropped in quarter pipes
Nobody thought to arrange a brain scan.

So yet again I'm writing to try get my thoughts in order as I process the possibility that I'm toast with maybe a few years to exist in this form.
I have to assume I might not get taken seriously by a doctor when I do see one.
I need to form an airtight argument that can only be beaten with evidence

This really is looking like it's possibly been one of the most catastrophic misdiagnoses from Diagnostic Overshadowing imaginable.
That I've had brain cancer accelerating in growth the last five years masked by a questionable diagnosis of Schizo-affective disorder, after a lifetime of smoking drugs.

So what's the cause of my constant headache?
This sense of pressure in my skull, that is only relieved the rare time I cry with upset tears as I did this morning?
Why is it I lost most of my teeth the last five years?
What is this new horrible taste?
Why can't I balance on one leg anymore?
Very odd.

It's weird having chronic bodywide pain all or nearly all day, every single day.
There's a weird similarity to being numbed.
The pain signals are malfunctioning.
So when doctors or nurse practitioners poke and prod at me I'm unsure if it hurts or what should or shouldn't unless it's very noticeable!

Hope for the best prepare for the worst.
Something as yet uncertain has gone badly wrong the last five years.
I'm not convinced I'm schizo-affective for a variety of sound reasons, and I want my brain scanning to prove me wrong about having a brain tumour.
Too much possibility when checking symptoms

Still, half an hour walk after I've not done more than ten minutes for weeks is good.
While also having some mystery other health problems that need checking out.
I need answers for the sake of my remaining sanity. Come Friday latest, I'll probably make a GP appointment if no significant improvement

Afternoon. Another day 2 no alcohol continues. I've just got back from a half an hour walk. Knackered but glad I could do it. I might nap soon.
I'm really not convinced this is "just" Fibromyalgia which is bad enough as is. Resembles that with CFS/ME too in the best case scenario. Bloods show normal

Good morning with good news: “Global EV sales topped two million units in a single month for the first time, driven by record-breaking demand across major markets."

2.1 million EVs sold globally in September. Wow!

EV sales are up 26% in Jan-Sept 2025.
rhomotion.com/news/record-... #energysky

Either way the results of the scan will be useful to me and medical science.
We will see what the brain looks like of someone ostensibly diagnosed ASD and Bipolar / Schizo-affective with almost certain ADHD in the mix with fibromyalgia and or CFS/ME.
Or we'll see a tumour or several across my brain.

So maybe I'm mistaken. I really hope I am as I don't actually want to die anytime soon.
Yet equally I've no great urge to live on as is.
I'm giving it today and tomorrow to see if I improve at all, and then I'm seeing a doctor ASAP if not.
I will be most insistent I get my brain scanned immediately.

What is this 24/7 pressure in my head?
Why have mornings been dreadful for 5 years even when not drinking or taking illegal drugs?
Why do I keep getting tears coming out of one eye not the other when I lie down?
What is this hard bloody lump up my👃🏻
Must be that I'm a paranoid psychotic hypochondriac

Why is it:
I've lost nearly all my teeth the last 5 years?
I have a constant headache?
Constant fatigue?
Started nearly falling over when turning corners simply when walking?
When previously in life I've rollerbladed, skateboarded, could do small quarter pipes & done karate and aikido?
Why is that?

I'll not take that from a psych ward where one guy escaped, another smuggled cocaine in, and worst of all had one using his day leave to get monkey dust he smoked inside our room, almost certainly spiked my tobacco.
It's actually horribly more likely I've got brain cancer now even as I didn't before

I look at how much I've decayed the last five years.
A mouthful of stumps as nearly all my teeth broke, crumbled, snapped when eating crisps.
How much I'm struggling with daily life when 5 years ago I was a RAPID warehouse monkey.
My personality changes the last few years.
Schizo-affective, really?!

Then I get crap off people for daring to ever think I know better than a doctor.
I'm arrogant, delusional, manic psychotic people say people who've never worked in medicine when I'm feeling well and happy.
Then I'm a hypochondriac with WebMDitis for thinking I'm physically unwell say the same people

Later proven to be diverticular bowel disorder by a competent medical team.
Didn't matter I was a drugged up teenager. That's when the label psychotic was first used. It's then tainted interactions with medical staff on a routine basis.
Recently 1 told me UTI symptoms were from being off psych meds.

Thinking there was something wrong with my guts and concluding based on juvenile googling at age 14, that I had a tapeworm infestation including in my brain.
While also smoking whatever was in those soapbar ninebars, and green powder synthetic SuperSkunk.
They didn't even CHECK my bowel before that!

Thinking about the nature of mental illness again.
The medical science has come a very long way from the early days of it.
Much more scientific for a start.
Yet in my youth, I was diagnosed with prodromal psychosis by a quack who was selling homeopathy from inside the NHS.
My imaginary THOUGHTCRIME?

"psychological" in quotes because as far as we know, everything about who we are as people lives in the brain, possibly with a soul.
So what is the difference between psychological and neurological, logically speaking, when it comes to Serious Mental Illness diagnoses?
Surely not much if anything?🤷🏻‍♂️🤷🏻‍♂️