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dr. hazel 🐝

@hazelmonforton.com

17K followers 3K following 10K posts

senior writer and narrative designer 🎮📝 open to work! previously Blizzard 💛⚔️ Bungie 💙💫 and Arkane 🧡🐀 personal account 🍞🌹 20th century lit phd 🎓🗡 she/her 🌑✨ nyc 🍕🐁 to atx 🌻🦇

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dr. hazel 🐝 @hazelmonforton.com · 15d

Hello new followers! I'm Hazel.

🐔 Chicken keeper 🐕 Tripod dog owner 📃 Writer 🎮 Senior Narrative Designer 🍞 Baker ⛪️ Amateur medievalist 🌱 Gardener 🧶 Knitter 🎓 PhD in English lit

Previously: 💛⚔️ Blizzard 💙💫 Bungie 🧡🐀 Arkane

Looking for my next role!
Find my work on my website: www.hazelmonforton.com

Hazel Monforton

www.hazelmonforton.com

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dr. hazel 🐝 @hazelmonforton.com · 1h

I need a paperclip to reboot my car.

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Reposted by dr. hazel 🐝

Matt Gabriele @profgabriele.com · 2h

This is peak Catholicism

Razzball @razzball.bsky.social · 3h

Someone in the crowd: “Go Cubs!”

Pope Leo XIV: “Han perdido! They lost!”

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dr. hazel 🐝 @hazelmonforton.com · 3h

Welp as soon as I opened the case, they connected to my iphone via bluetooth. So i don’t know

dr. hazel 🐝 @hazelmonforton.com · 4h

I put them in some rice??? I hope this works

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dr. hazel 🐝 @hazelmonforton.com · 4h

they're making high pitched squealing noises

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dr. hazel 🐝 @hazelmonforton.com · 4h

😩 airpods went through the washing machine

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dr. hazel 🐝 @hazelmonforton.com · 4h

no it's @themoonis.gay

Reposted by dr. hazel 🐝

jenny_tightpants🪑 @jtp.bsky.social · 5h

everyone on here seems to think that there's just one feature you can add or remove from social media to make people not go insane on here. this belief, i think, is itself a form of madness

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dr. hazel 🐝 @hazelmonforton.com · 5h

Every grocery shopping trip is so expensive. This sucks, man.

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Reposted by dr. hazel 🐝

dr. hazel 🐝 @hazelmonforton.com · 15h

Still 💫 manifesting 💫

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dr. hazel 🐝 @hazelmonforton.com · 5h

Husb: What are you gonna get up to today?
Me, still funemployed:

a cartoon of a man with long black hair saying nothing

ALT: a cartoon of a man with long black hair saying nothing

media.tenor.com

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Reposted by dr. hazel 🐝

dr. hazel 🐝 @hazelmonforton.com · Jul 15

This is a vaguepost. You don't understand it now, but you will later.

a man and a woman are hugging each other in a room with candles .

Alt: The Goblin King from Labyrinth (1986) dancing with Sarah.

media.tenor.com

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dr. hazel 🐝 @hazelmonforton.com · 7h

Q: How do you know if a Drukhari is a trueborn?
A: They tell you.

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dr. hazel 🐝 @hazelmonforton.com · 7h

Olga Kellner I believe.

Reposted by dr. hazel 🐝

Saoirse Ní Chiaragáin @miseryvulture.bsky.social · Dec 17

Now, more than ever, you have to be a weird little pervert who makes art of questionable quality. You need to be driven crazy by the flesh. Because, as we all learned from Cronenberg's The Fly, the computers are not made crazy by the flesh. They can't do it like us.