@bencollins.bsky.social
I love the paper Onion and i just wish it had a crossword. Or a Junior Jumble.

Better photos of my faves from Urbana, IL today, via IPM newsroom and the News- Gazette. Estimated 4000 people.

Grainy footage of Grimace after the rally, with a sign that says "Machine's Still Broken" and calling for the Epstein Files. There are so many lies to be mad about, honestly it's hard to focus. #nokings

How to indict your political enemies:

Step 1. Appoint an AG who went to law school in a hotel
Step 2: Replace career prosecutors with an insurance lawyer who never prosecuted a federal case
Step 3: Hire an FBI director with zero years in law enforcement
Step 4: Let them cook

What a meritocracy!

Today, I learned I'm too young to know The Schoolhouse Rock Preamble to the Constitution song, and ergo, am not Gen X. There was a whole-ass singalong at the rally and it was adorable and I have never heard the song in my life. I know the Animaniacs State Capitol song, though. That's the divide.

Champaign Urbana showed up today... #nokings

She's Manx. So I put my foot in it this morning when I said she was "bright-eyed and bushy- tai--" #caturday

I like to think of myself as part of "operation normie shield". I turn the white lady respectability up to 11 when I go to these things.

Whenever I think of this article, I hear it in Sliwa's voice. BROADS. theonion.com/new-study-sh...

Reba had dental cleaning yesterday and spent a lot of the evening like this.

saw this clip of the NYC mayor debate and i had tears in my eyes, perhaps the most insane section of any debate ever

This is the best easiest dinner, yes. Gold star for doing baguette instead of "handful o' triscuits"

First time I can remember seeing the word "swag" in annual ethics training.

ICYMI: “And now, a response from the leader of the frog resistance...” 🐸 🎵 #Colbert

I don't really read SF too often and am trying to ease into it, so I just read Old Man's War, and it was really fun and well crafted. More fun than Jude the Obscure, for sure.

I feel like this monarch is procrastinating. Madam, it is October. 🦋🌻🪾

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I've dealt with some dicey landlords in some pretty crummy buildings. The fridge might look like hell. Maybe the previous tenant DID use the crisper drawer as the cat's litter box and I was told to bleach it and put it back in the fridge...but it keeps food cold... and it comes included in the rent.

Thank you for finding that quote.

Yeah, I thought only women did this or that it's coded as "1990s unconfident girl in a meeting" and that we all use vocal fry to negate that now. My teen kid and I only use upspeak when we are joking around and pretending to be insufferably pedantic. "Um actually, mom, did you know deez nutz?"

Question…

As a midwesterner, this is how I imagine all burly New Yorkers. Not "nice" people, but "good" people.