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C.A. Pinkham

@eyepatchguy.bsky.social

12K followers 810 following 45K posts

I write stuff and talk about restaurant stories a lot. Also the Mongolian Empire. He/him Bylines @ Jezebel, @ Jewish Currents, @ Thrillist, @ Daily Meal, @ FanBuzz, @ FanByte [email protected]

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C.A. Pinkham @eyepatchguy.bsky.social · 27m

I WOULD JUST LIKE THE DAYS THAT ARE NOT THESE DAYS

C.A. Pinkham @eyepatchguy.bsky.social · 28m

Yeah that sounds familiar

Reposted by C.A. Pinkham

Ryan Mac 🙃 @rmac.bsky.social · 3h

this is the dumbest shit i have ever read

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C.A. Pinkham @eyepatchguy.bsky.social · 4h

Sleep is the only part that isn’t a problem for me

C.A. Pinkham @eyepatchguy.bsky.social · 4h

Like I’m sorry your partner let you down but it’s not like I’m just watching the kid here, I am also the cook and the primary indoor chore-doer (I will not fucking garden if you put a goddamned gun to my head)

C.A. Pinkham @eyepatchguy.bsky.social · 4h

There’s a different problem for me too as a primary caregiver dad where a lot of moms have zero sympathy where they would absolutely have it for other moms, likely because their own husbands were such shit at helping them and they can’t separate themselves from that psychologically

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C.A. Pinkham @eyepatchguy.bsky.social · 4h

Also he specifically dislikes chicken which I didn’t even know it was possible to do if you eat meat in general

C.A. Pinkham @eyepatchguy.bsky.social · 4h

It’s not that my best friend only eats chicken nuggets or anything. That’s actually less weird than what he has going on. He eats grown up foods but has also stressed that he would cheerfully eat the same meals every single day for the rest of his life

C.A. Pinkham @eyepatchguy.bsky.social · 4h

I’m not saying she definitely won’t be a picky eater but she’s the child of two people who both love cooking and trying new and varied things, if she’s picky it won’t be because she had an example to look at

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C.A. Pinkham @eyepatchguy.bsky.social · 4h

I know someone who insisted this because she’s not a picky eater and her kid has at least had a phase, ignoring the fact that her husband—my best friend—has the weirdest relationship to food I have ever seen in my life

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C.A. Pinkham @eyepatchguy.bsky.social · 4h

Also I want to cook stuff for her and prove the “well she’s gonna be a picky eater no matter what you do” people wrong

C.A. Pinkham @eyepatchguy.bsky.social · 5h

I want to hang out and do stuff with her, I hate that I am praying for her to fucking sleep so I’m not doing the same two goddamn things (feed her by dint of much effort and try to get her to sleep and occasionally jingle something at her I guess) over and fucking over

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C.A. Pinkham @eyepatchguy.bsky.social · 4h

Sleep deprivation, weirdly, isn’t the issue. She’s actually a fantastic nighttime sleeper (and a horrible daytime one). Shes never slept less than five hours and now she’s at 7. If she regresses there’s only so much she can actually regress

C.A. Pinkham @eyepatchguy.bsky.social · 4h

I am absolutely terrified of having a second one and having to take care of both of them even as I kind of do want a second one for all the stuff that comes later

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C.A. Pinkham @eyepatchguy.bsky.social · 4h

Tbf I watched that as an adult, that shit whips

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C.A. Pinkham @eyepatchguy.bsky.social · 4h

That latter part is so goddamned stressful, it’s not even that things are going wrong, it’s the constant terror that something is about to

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Reposted by C.A. Pinkham

the ghost of pony pony huckabuck @spindlypete.bsky.social · 5h

this babyhood could have been an email

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C.A. Pinkham @eyepatchguy.bsky.social · 5h

I’ve spent enough time now around 2-4 year olds and a 0-2 year old to know which age makes me happy and which one makes me want to avail myself of one of my city’s frankly excessive number of bridges

C.A. Pinkham @eyepatchguy.bsky.social · 5h

I’m checking back on this in a few months just so I can tell y’all who insisted it would get worse to go fuck yourselves

C.A. Pinkham @eyepatchguy.bsky.social · 5h

Everyone replying with something along the lines of how much worse it will be when X: I hope you get hit by a train

C.A. Pinkham @eyepatchguy.bsky.social · 6h

I love my daughter but everyone claiming this three month age is the best and “well she’ll never be like this again” FUCKING GOOD

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C.A. Pinkham @eyepatchguy.bsky.social · 5h

“Well but then they start arguments with you and make loud noises” bud I’m Jewish that’s not a bug that’s a feature

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C.A. Pinkham @eyepatchguy.bsky.social · 5h

“Well but they throw tantrums and get upset over the most minor things” yeah but at least they can *kind of* express to you the source of whatever’s bothering them rather than you having to blindly fucking guess

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C.A. Pinkham @eyepatchguy.bsky.social · 5h

Yes

C.A. Pinkham @eyepatchguy.bsky.social · 5h

Yes! I’m excited for that part! It’s this part I fucking hate!

C.A. Pinkham @eyepatchguy.bsky.social · 5h

I don’t want to cast aspersions on people who enjoy having to spend every goddamn waking moment accounting for literally every minute aspect of a tiny human being’s existence but what the fuck man

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C.A. Pinkham @eyepatchguy.bsky.social · 5h

I hate that people feel the need to do this. Like I’m sorry you’re miserable, don’t put that shit on me

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C.A. Pinkham @eyepatchguy.bsky.social · 5h

I said this elsewhere but I fucking need people to stop universalizing their experiences. Cool, I’m glad y’all enjoyed the baby stage more, I’ll enjoy it more when I can show her Hakeem Olajuwon highlights

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