Bergamot Jones
@bergamohjones.bsky.social
690 followers 190 following 3.1K posts
Making #art #scifi and #problems. Former dog inventory specialist. Edging 40. Icon by me.
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A beginning is a very delicate time. Know, then, that the year is 10,191.
You can just skeet Dune (1984). Nobody can stop you.
This really happened but fortunately I was holding it gently and got away with only tiny cuts. I think it actually imploded; it shattered dramatically but there wasn't a wide dispersion.
Me: Ah, the collet of yon high-efficiency fluorescent bulb is loos'd, but mark: p'raps pressure would correct it.
{the bulb explodes violently, spraying tiny shards of glass everywhere}
Me: Ah; my folly I've detected,
In a matter not expected;
Pressur'd gas I've not respected.
The communion wafer burned Lucy because she's a protestant, not because she's a vampire
Catholic vampire whom everyone assumes is sneaking blood on the side but when they finally catch him he's like "no, man, it's literally the blood and flesh of Christ, how do you believe in crosses and holy water but not the miracle of transubstantiation"
I don't think anyone can save for three? Botched dental operations in a row
Me: Ah, the collet of yon high-efficiency fluorescent bulb is loos'd, but mark: p'raps pressure would correct it.
{the bulb explodes violently, spraying tiny shards of glass everywhere}
Me: Ah; my folly I've detected,
In a matter not expected;
Pressur'd gas I've not respected.
Someone who was born in 2001: All I have ever known is financial crashes, the US fighting interminable wars, and opioid crises

Someone born in 1980: All I have ever known is financial crashes, the US fighting interminable wars, and opioid crises

Someone born in 1960: Star Wars was pretty good
youth culture, like named generations, is a transient effect of the baby boom and we'll be well rid of it
Tyler the Creator on whether youth culture still exists. I don't know if this is completely true, but it does seem more true today than in the past.
If you believe IMDB, Paul Newman rejected the lead role in every film he ever starred in, including a few he was the protagonist of
Reposted by Bergamot Jones
Casting spells and worshipping the devil in TTRPGs is so old school

Come to Lancer, where you get to be a woke gay antifa mech pilot fighting for communism
Reposted by Bergamot Jones
People who are into EDM think I mean I went to an EDM show. People who are into ENM also think I mean EDM
I mixed up the initialisms "EDM" and "ENM" and accidentally had a lovely evening
Ottawa is a weird city—it has a bunch of small towns nearby, plus the other side of the river there's an equally large Quebecois city, Gatineau. So often people will say National Capital Region when they mean all of that. Which means I just got sniped by "Queer events in the NCR this weekend"
Reposted by Bergamot Jones
The Iron soldier is dead. The blade of diamond had dulled and lost it strength, the power of cyclones have dissipated into the air.
Now that's cinema. Immaculate
joe wright, director of pride & prejudice (2005) reading letterboxd reviews
Reposted by Bergamot Jones
Need some good choasts to feed the eggbug
These Demon Lords Are Chumps: My Fantasy Life In Another World Won't Stick!
Reposted by Bergamot Jones
guy that keeps jumping under trucks to get isekai'd again but through some contrivance he gets isekai'd right back again every chapter
I am afflicted with "didn't eat dinner before 11 pm" disease
Tech companies should not be run by people who have never had to navigate a voice-based phone menu
Reposted by Bergamot Jones
been workin on a new character
The solutions being "don't live on nothing but beef and gin"
Only officers talk to the computer everyone else just uses the okudagrams like a normal person