Woke up this morning and it felt like fall. Gotta tell ya, for the first time in YEARS, I'm weirdly excited about the change of seasons. So, BRING IT!! 👀🍁🍂 #ridefast #takechances #notquitedeadyet #noseriously #myINFAMOUSlife #imINFAMOUS #letsbeINFAMOUStogether #yerdoinitwrong
November 2, 2025 at 6:36 PM
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The world is a vampire.
...or whatever Billy Corgan said... 🧛♂️👀 #notquitedeadyet #undead #myINFAMOUSlife #imINFAMOUS #letsbeINFAMOUStogether #yerdoinitwrong
...or whatever Billy Corgan said... 🧛♂️👀 #notquitedeadyet #undead #myINFAMOUSlife #imINFAMOUS #letsbeINFAMOUStogether #yerdoinitwrong
November 1, 2025 at 5:39 PM
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NO!!! NOT YET!!! Today is Día de Los Muertos!!! We don't start celebrating Christmas UNTIL TOMORROW!!!!! 👀 #noseriously #ucantmakethisshitup #myINFAMOUSlife #imINFAMOUS #letsbeINFAMOUStogether #yerdoinitwrong
November 1, 2025 at 5:27 PM
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Gary: I've called and texted you multiple times!! Why aren't you answering!?!!!
Me: It's Halloween. 🎃🕷💀🦇
Gary: ...and!?!! 👀
Me: I was ghosting you. 👻
#notquitedeadyet #noseriously #myINFAMOUSlife #imINFAMOUS #letsbeINFAMOUStogether #yerdoinitwrong
Me: It's Halloween. 🎃🕷💀🦇
Gary: ...and!?!! 👀
Me: I was ghosting you. 👻
#notquitedeadyet #noseriously #myINFAMOUSlife #imINFAMOUS #letsbeINFAMOUStogether #yerdoinitwrong
November 1, 2025 at 2:03 AM
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You become an adult the first time you pick up the icecube you dropped out of the freezer instead of kicking it under the 'fridge. Today, I discovered I'm STILL not an adult... 👀 #imold #oldAF #notquitedeadyet #myINFAMOUSlife #imINFAMOUS #letsbeINFAMOUStogether #yerdoinitwrong
October 28, 2025 at 1:31 AM
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Apparently, #AmericaFirst means a $40 BILLION bailout for Argentina that helps get Melei re-elected, whilst 40 MILLION Americans lose their foodstamps... 👀 #ucantmakethisshitup #noseriously #notquitedeadyet #myINFAMOUSlife #imINFAMOUS #letsbeINFAMOUStogether #yerdoinitwrong
October 27, 2025 at 7:04 PM
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Gary: Whatcha gonna be for Halloween this year?
Me: Tired 👻
Gary: That's not a costume.
Me: Gary... I'm DEAD tired. This isn't just my costume. This is my WHOLE personality!! 👀
#notquitedeadyet #noseriously #myINFAMOUSlife #imINFAMOUS #letsbeINFAMOUStogether #yerdoinitwrong
Me: Tired 👻
Gary: That's not a costume.
Me: Gary... I'm DEAD tired. This isn't just my costume. This is my WHOLE personality!! 👀
#notquitedeadyet #noseriously #myINFAMOUSlife #imINFAMOUS #letsbeINFAMOUStogether #yerdoinitwrong
October 27, 2025 at 5:56 PM
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When did I stop skipping? I saw a kid skipping the other day and suddenly I'm wondering when was the last time I skipped. That was my favorite mode of locomotion! What happened??? 👀 #notquitedeadyet #noseriously #myINFAMOUSlife #imINFAMOUS #letsbeINFAMOUStogether #yerdoinitwrong
October 25, 2025 at 9:17 PM
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OMG! I'm reading Tweets referring to Trump's hotly contested White House Ballroom as the #EpsteinBallroom, and I just can't with this site... 🤣👍 #jussayin #sorrynotsorry #notmypresident #fuckthatputo #myINFAMOUSlife #imINFAMOUS #letsbeINFAMOUStogether #yerdoinitwrong
October 23, 2025 at 6:57 PM
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Dont ask me how I know, but it turns out that "priceless jewelery" stolen from the Louve was just costume jewelry. In Other News: I'm gonna be the Queen of France this Halloween. You? 👀 #jussayin #sorrynotsorry #myINFAMOUSlife #imINFAMOUS #letsbeINFAMOUStogether #yerdoinitwrong
October 21, 2025 at 4:21 PM
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I'm pretty sure autism is just a made up thing, because if it was real, some autistic dude would have done figured out what causes it and how to prevent it... 👀 #dunningkruger #imagenius #neurodivergentarmy #notquitedeadyet #myINFAMOUSlife #imINFAMOUS #letsbeINFAMOUStogether #yerdoinitwrong
October 20, 2025 at 3:46 PM
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Companies like SalesForce and AWS crack me up b/c they spend SO MUCH MONEY on advertising and I still have zip, zero, no idea what they do/sell... 👀 #alrightalrightalright #noseriously #myINFAMOUSlife #imINFAMOUS #letsbeINFAMOUStogether #yerdoinitwrong
October 17, 2025 at 1:01 AM
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DIBS ON THE ACE FREHLEY COSTUME FOR THIS HALLOWEEN!!! I CALLED DIBS!!! 👀 #toosoon? #WINNING #notquitedeadyet #noseriously #myINFAMOUSlife #imINFAMOUS #letsbeINFAMOUStogether #yerdoinitwrong
October 17, 2025 at 12:49 AM
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My stated objective is to interact with, by commenting on, my friends' Twitter accts, until their other followers (er... friends?) BLOCK me out of sheer annoyance... 👀 #ucantmakethisshitup #noseriously #notquitedeadyet #myINFAMOUSlife #imINFAMOUS #letsbeINFAMOUStogether #yerdoinitwrong
October 16, 2025 at 4:51 AM
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We used to wonder if, "Maybe it's Maybelline," but now we're all just asking ourselves if maybe it isn't AI... 👀 #noseriously #notquitedeadyet #ucantmakethisshitup #myINFAMOUSlife #imINFAMOUS #letsbeINFAMOUStogether #yerdoinitwrong
October 15, 2025 at 4:57 PM
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A caramel apple, but can you peel the apple before you caramel it, and also, can that be peanut brittle instead of caramel? 👀 #ucantmakethisshitup #noseriously #ijusmadethisshitup #myINFAMOUSlife #imINFAMOUS #letsbeINFAMOUStogether #yerdoinitwrong
October 14, 2025 at 4:35 PM
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Some dude: Why Samsung? Why not Apple like the rest of us?
Me: This device chose me. It had a backbutton on its screen. We bonded over that. You wouldn't understand... 👀
#noseriously #ucantmakethisshitup #myINFAMOUSlife #imINFAMOUS #letsbeINFAMOUStogether #yerdoinitwrong
Me: This device chose me. It had a backbutton on its screen. We bonded over that. You wouldn't understand... 👀
#noseriously #ucantmakethisshitup #myINFAMOUSlife #imINFAMOUS #letsbeINFAMOUStogether #yerdoinitwrong
October 7, 2025 at 6:07 PM
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I don't want to get ahead of myself, but so far it's a pretty good day for Texas NFL football... 👀 #cowboynation #texastrue #dallascowboys #houstontexans #nobaddays #nfl #sundayfootball #myINFAMOUSlife #imINFAMOUS #letsbeINFAMOUStogether #yerdoinitwrong
October 5, 2025 at 6:28 PM
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Tylenol is perfectly safe! You just have to say, "No homo!" before you take it... 👀 #themoreyouknow #noseriously #ucantmakethisshitup #ijusmadethisshitup #myINFAMOUSlife #imINFAMOUS #letsbeINFAMOUStogether #yerdoinitwrong
September 24, 2025 at 2:52 PM
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Not that I'm counting, but that's the 357th rapture I've survived. I'm beginning to think God doesn't like me... 👀 #notquitedeadyet #noseriously #rapturemyass #ucantmakethisshitup #somebodymadethisshitup #myINFAMOUSlife #imINFAMOUS #letsbeINFAMOUStogether #yerdoinitwrong
September 24, 2025 at 1:10 AM
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I can't be the only person around who remembers Possible Possum and his catchphrase, "It's possibule. It's possibule." I know I'm old, but gawdam y'all! Come on!! 👀
#imold #notquitedeadyet #noseriously #myINFAMOUSlife #imINFAMOUS #letsbeINFAMOUStogether #yerdoinitwrong
#imold #notquitedeadyet #noseriously #myINFAMOUSlife #imINFAMOUS #letsbeINFAMOUStogether #yerdoinitwrong
September 13, 2025 at 5:33 PM
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Okay. So, a suspect has been found, named, arrested, and charged. Can we get back to those #EpsteinFiles now? 👀 #noseriously #ReleaseTheEpsteinFiles #ReleaseAllTheEpsteinFiles #jussayin #sorrynotsorry #myINFAMOUSlife #imINFAMOUS #letsbeINFAMOUStogether #yerdoinitwrong
September 12, 2025 at 3:59 PM
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Damn, Charlie Kirk didn't deserve to die like that. Now, what about the #EpsteinFiles??? Can we release the Epstein Files now? #noseriously 😪 #ReleaseTheEpsteinFiles #jussayin #sorrynotsorry #myINFAMOUSlife #imINFAMOUS #letsbeINFAMOUStogether #yerdoinitwrong
September 11, 2025 at 5:43 AM
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Just here to check on the rumors of Trump's death. 👀
.
...*fingers crossed* #notquitedeadyet #noseriously #notmypresident #fuckthatputo #myINFAMOUSlife #imINFAMOUS #letsbeINFAMOUStogether #yerdoinitwrong
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...*fingers crossed* #notquitedeadyet #noseriously #notmypresident #fuckthatputo #myINFAMOUSlife #imINFAMOUS #letsbeINFAMOUStogether #yerdoinitwrong
September 2, 2025 at 1:48 AM
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Anyone else notice they sacrificed that Cracker only to resurrect him 3 days later? Anyways... Where's them Epstein files??? #asking4afriend #itsme #immyfriend #noseriously #myINFAMOUSlife #imINFAMOUS #letsbeINFAMOUStogether #yerdoinitwrong Happy Easter!! ...or, whatever. 👀
August 30, 2025 at 4:53 PM
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