My top songs were Sunshowers by MIA and Get Loose by Cheetah & Nia archives.

My 3-year-old’s favourite songs, and a sure-fire way to boost his mood on car journeys.

I thought he was saying someone had stood on the back of his heel or something but on the commentary they were talking about “missiles”

Brilliant idea. I gave up after the disastrous attempt to strap one of the cats on to my beard, I should have known there was a better way.

I especially like having a beard, so that I can receive every possible item in the shape of a beard or with pictures of beards on it, because my entire self = beard. It’s like the male version of having cats*

*I also have cats but people don’t buy men cat things

Might not have been teeth or tits…

‘How can I explain to my 15 year old son that it’s not real, it’s just simulated for a movie?’

Speaking as a former 15 year old boy, he’ll know.

“Thanks but no thanks”giving

I’ve always voted Labour, but last time out I reluctantly accepted that only a tactical vote would get rid of our horrendous local Tory, so I held my nose and went Lib Dem.

In hindsight I’m delighted not to have given my vote to Starmer’s soulless ghouls. A Labour government in name only.

I think he just means he’s making a loud beeping sound while he does it

Ah, lovely. My dad had Citroens through most of my childhood: a GSA Special followed by a succession of BXs. (He’s gone back to them now with a C4) This takes me back.

I work in a high school and not long ago a lad stopped in mid sentence to check that I’d heard of YouTube

I don’t know what the middle guy’s point is but I’ve seen his sign about “convent fuckers” and I’m intrigued

There used to be an account on the other site called Footballers Aging Badly that was great for these but I don’t think they’re on here

I’m also aware there might have been a bit more Quatermass in your early childhood than there was in mine