Apologies for the long thread, I just needed to get it out that I'm not ok, and any support is amazing! 🧡

So I really need to sit down and think if I wanna try again. I have e tried therapy, and that only led to my therapist getting bored, and that did shit for my mental state. But I don't think I can keep raw dogging this...unless somehow I miraculously get a job!

The last time I tried them I almost killed myself and more, that utterly terrified me, and i didn't wanna try them again. But lately it has been so bad. Honestly only things keeping me alive is not wanting to disappoint the people I care about, as well as not wanting my pets wondering when I went

The past 2 days I have basically shut down from just being emotionally drained. Yesterday was far worse, while today was the getting better day. But I am still not ok, and I might need to actually look at antidepressants again, but keep a very close eye on how they make me feel