Nonono, baking soda sausage. Like arm and hammer baking soda.

Though they did make a bacon soda at one point.

I actually kinda find it funny that I consider Mario PARTY more skill-based than Mario Kart because Mario Party just fucks everyone equally. The RNG doesn't favor one player or another.

Meanwhile Mario Kart purposely fakes close races.

Hate...hate...HATE Mario Kart. Trash dumpster fire franchise.

We need to do away with all the artificial close races. Just give us powerups that clearly mark what's on the powerup.

And FUUUUCK the leader missile. What an outdated concept. Any other genre or subgenre would laugh away that idea on the spot.

The amount of times I've heard "Well that's just kart racer things" about the mindlessly frustrating bullshit that Mario Kart does that's about as fun as slamming your dick in a car door is STAGGERING.

And it always just gets treated as "good" because it's tradition.

TO THE WALLS!

(TO THE WALLS)

I see this on my timeline just as it gets 164 likes.

I am afraid of liking it for fear of ruining the balance.

Why stop there? Break out the monster trucks and show them the Bergentross.

I hate that I can hear Storm speaking here in my head.

"INTRODUCING FIRST...HAILING FROM DUNKIN' DONUTS, FROM THE GREAT STATE OF OBESITY, BIG THE CAT"

Help me I'm stupid I'm still practicing with the FUCKING GUITAR HERO LES PAUL CONTROLLER.

Strum bar was steering, Green fret was gas, Red was drift, and whammy bar was item.

This was STUPID and I love it.