i fucking hate being ignored like this. i hate when shit is left unresolved. i hate when im mad and people choose to ignore that bc if its ignored then its not real and not a problem or whatever the fuck!!! and im just left to stew and ruminate alone!!!

every day i understand my mom a little bit more #WHENPEOPLEARELIKEMYDAD #YEP

Maybe its the absence. Maybe i just need to be reintroduced to it. But it makes me feel wrong.

I can trace it through time across so many people

I just want someone to bundle me up and take care of me and talk about all the things i love and do things for Me and make me happy. I feel like im always giving myself out to people. I feel unseen.

I cant think of the things that make me happy. I cant connect to them or relate to them. I cant think of oc lore. I cant even access escapism the way i like to the most. I feel like ive got nothing im interested in at the moment

The only reason i got through college at all was bc i wanted to kerplunk it but decided to stick around while it was still fun enough to justify living. Every couple of months i remember that and think hmm have i had enough yet. Its always there. Since i was 15 its always been there

If talking to an anonymous online diary is what i gotta do then thats what i gotta do