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volta2.bsky.social
@volta2.bsky.social
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sarahjeong.bsky.social
elon musk at cpac was so fucking weird you guys I know this reads like a parody but I literally just wrote down what happened www.theverge.com/elon-musk/61...
Flashing lights, large screens ablaze with animated graphics reminiscent of the oughties. The CPAC logo spins around as generic rap-rock blasts across the crowd. Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time for the DOGE update. Please welcome Newsmax host, Rob Schmitt. Schmitt: Man. That is a big crowd. And they are not here for me. Crowd cheers. Schmitt: How you guys doing? Nice vibe this month, right? After the best month we’ve ever had. Nice to see you. Thanks for coming out. It’s good to see you. Let’s not kill any more time, let’s bring out Elon Musk. Crowd goes wild. Elon Musk enters stage, pumping both fists high in the air, walking slightly unsteadily. He is wearing a black MAGA baseball cap and sunglasses that look like they were bought in a gas station in 1989. He continues to pump his fists as he makes his way in front of the beige arm chairs at the front of the stage. Rob Schmitt attempts to get his attention, but he turns and waves at the crowd. Schmitt: We’ve got one more surprise, in case this wasn’t enough. Musk: Well, President, uh, President Milei has a gift for me. Schmitt: [hamming at camera] Javier Milei from Argentina, you guys know who that is, right? Milei, a friendly-looking figure who resembles Bilbo Baggins right before he Smeagolifies, enters the stage carrying a chainsaw. He presents the chainsaw to the billionaire, who then waves it around unsteadily. Musk: This… is… the chainsaw for bureaucracy. [pumps the chainsaw in the air] CHAINSAAAW! He takes a beat to examine the chainsaw. He is still wearing his sunglasses. He turns around and starts wandering to the other side of the stage, waving the chainsaw around. Musk: Uwaaauwaargh! Milei lurks awkwardly in the background, trying to wave goodbye to Musk, before Schmitt takes notice. Schmitt: Mr. President, thank you so much. Nice to meet you. I love it. We love it. Musk’s attention snaps to Milei. The two men shake hands with the Argentinian president, who then departs.
February 21, 2025 at 4:20 AM