also no worries, I've already scheduled mental health help from my healthcare team. I let them know what's been going on and they too were like 'oof yea, let's get some mental health support started asap my guy'

Literally doing everything right and all that I can and I'm STILL a huge mess sheesh.

also bless one of my besties that gifted me not 1 but 2 steam eye masks recently. I'm definitely needing one of them today holy shit. i wish to have an hours long break from crying PLEASE - I'm so tired wtf.

good thing I'm making a comic that has a huge theme of grief around it, wonder why. not like for some reasons my 30's become a time in my life where my loved ones and I are just going thru it in the losing ppl and fur babies department non stop for 5+ years now jfc

it's only 5 AM and my eyes are so puffy n' red jfc not doin' great today, I'll be okay. just damn, what a time.

AND I SIGNED UP FOR THIS KIND OF HEART BREAK BUT DAMN, STILL.

and also I'm so frustrated that this is just... there's no stopping any of it. Y'know? This experience is wildly upsetting, isolating, teaching me a lot ect. I love Ari so fucking much it hurts in ways I never knew I could hurt. i know I'm supposed to feel grateful but right now it just. hurts.

Like. How tf did time fly like this? and also WHY THIS?

It feels so fucked up to just. Know that I've been so lucky but the reality of just like... the mortality of my loved ones is hitting on top of this? Like? REALLY?? I get to do this how many times??

I usually create a thread of options for people who would like to donate to a Native cause or struggle, but it has gotten HARDER to fundraise on socials over the past couple of years, so I am zeroing in on one ask this year. Pls support Native organizing infrastructure: nativeorganizing.org/donate/