Ol’ Illiterate Whale Shark
@vhalechark.bsky.social
Internet moron with nice traps
I don’t get enough credit for keeping my stupid fat hawg off the timeline
January 4, 2026 at 8:16 PM
I don’t get enough credit for keeping my stupid fat hawg off the timeline
The pastor at my church has asked the lord to bless my karate hands as I use the power of violence to fight Rick’s diabetes and Mark’s athletes foot. He’s asked me if I will fight Ms. Betty’s chronic heart disease but I told him not to get carried away
January 4, 2026 at 6:35 PM
The pastor at my church has asked the lord to bless my karate hands as I use the power of violence to fight Rick’s diabetes and Mark’s athletes foot. He’s asked me if I will fight Ms. Betty’s chronic heart disease but I told him not to get carried away
[extremely F-150 commercial voice] have you ever been sucked off so violently that after they were done you had to pull the bedsheet out of your colon? That’s nothing at all what it’s like to drive the new F-150
January 4, 2026 at 4:45 PM
[extremely F-150 commercial voice] have you ever been sucked off so violently that after they were done you had to pull the bedsheet out of your colon? That’s nothing at all what it’s like to drive the new F-150
Another guy from church, Mark, has asked me to use karate to fight his athletes foot. He says he knows about tough actin tinactin but he doesn’t think it works as good since John Madden stopped advertising it (I told Mark that John Madden died but he doesn’t believe me)
January 3, 2026 at 8:20 PM
Another guy from church, Mark, has asked me to use karate to fight his athletes foot. He says he knows about tough actin tinactin but he doesn’t think it works as good since John Madden stopped advertising it (I told Mark that John Madden died but he doesn’t believe me)
To be clear, I don’t have type 2 diabetes, Rick from my church does. He said the power of prayer isn’t working so he asked me to fight his diabetes with the power of violence. The karate hasn’t finished it off yet, but I’m slowly chipping away at it.
January 3, 2026 at 8:00 PM
To be clear, I don’t have type 2 diabetes, Rick from my church does. He said the power of prayer isn’t working so he asked me to fight his diabetes with the power of violence. The karate hasn’t finished it off yet, but I’m slowly chipping away at it.
I am currently fighting type 2 diabetes with karate
January 3, 2026 at 7:55 PM
I am currently fighting type 2 diabetes with karate
I have just been informed that a mushroom is not a room filled with mush but is actually some kind of plant or animal
December 11, 2025 at 12:19 AM
I have just been informed that a mushroom is not a room filled with mush but is actually some kind of plant or animal
How’s it going over here? Still mega ass but without all the hitlery nonsense?
November 29, 2025 at 7:51 PM
How’s it going over here? Still mega ass but without all the hitlery nonsense?
🎵 in the car I just can’t wait to diarrhea on our very first date
November 13, 2025 at 11:35 PM
🎵 in the car I just can’t wait to diarrhea on our very first date
My penis is long my attention span is short
October 16, 2025 at 7:03 PM
My penis is long my attention span is short
My IQ? I don’t have one, I had it surgically removed so I didn’t have to worry about it. Do you want to drink 17 beers and fuck like rabid animals?
October 8, 2025 at 1:40 PM
My IQ? I don’t have one, I had it surgically removed so I didn’t have to worry about it. Do you want to drink 17 beers and fuck like rabid animals?
*extremely graphic slurping sounds*
October 7, 2025 at 1:33 PM
*extremely graphic slurping sounds*
Suplex anyone you don’t like through a table. Your body isn’t getting any younger, be violent while you still can.
Those who are 35+, what advice do you have for people just entering their 30s?
October 5, 2025 at 10:43 PM
Suplex anyone you don’t like through a table. Your body isn’t getting any younger, be violent while you still can.
Trying to escape through the chimney but getting stuck cause of my boner :(
October 3, 2025 at 11:53 PM
Trying to escape through the chimney but getting stuck cause of my boner :(
You ever be fucking but like, silly style?
October 1, 2025 at 6:31 PM
You ever be fucking but like, silly style?
They’re calling Pepsi “Dr. Pepsi” now. Have you heard about this? They’re saying Pepsi went to medical school so it can remove your appendix if it wants to.
September 30, 2025 at 5:07 PM
They’re calling Pepsi “Dr. Pepsi” now. Have you heard about this? They’re saying Pepsi went to medical school so it can remove your appendix if it wants to.
The sports people are telling me brisketball can’t be a sport. They’re telling me no one wants to hit a big juicy roast with a bat into a net.
September 29, 2025 at 11:10 PM
The sports people are telling me brisketball can’t be a sport. They’re telling me no one wants to hit a big juicy roast with a bat into a net.
When life gives you lemons, now you have lemons. Wow. Sour yellow balls.
September 29, 2025 at 10:55 PM
When life gives you lemons, now you have lemons. Wow. Sour yellow balls.
In America you have hand foot and mouth disease. In Germany they have Hans foot and mouth disease which can only be transmitted from Hans to Hans.
September 29, 2025 at 10:23 PM
In America you have hand foot and mouth disease. In Germany they have Hans foot and mouth disease which can only be transmitted from Hans to Hans.
There was a horse at the bar the other night and when I asked the bartender about it he said I shouldn’t talk to the horse cause it’s full of shit. Apparently it tells everyone it’s descended from the Trojan horse.
September 29, 2025 at 3:49 PM
There was a horse at the bar the other night and when I asked the bartender about it he said I shouldn’t talk to the horse cause it’s full of shit. Apparently it tells everyone it’s descended from the Trojan horse.
🎵 she’s a bad girl, loves osama, bin laden and the hezbollah too
September 26, 2025 at 10:14 PM
🎵 she’s a bad girl, loves osama, bin laden and the hezbollah too
They’re saying I’m going to the steakhouse, eating 5 porterhouse steaks, drinking 13 beers, and fighting an off duty cop
September 26, 2025 at 9:59 PM
They’re saying I’m going to the steakhouse, eating 5 porterhouse steaks, drinking 13 beers, and fighting an off duty cop
They kicked me out of planet fitness after the lunk alarm sounded in the locker room when I took my pants off. They’re saying I can’t have all of this meat in the locker room.
September 17, 2025 at 5:42 PM
They kicked me out of planet fitness after the lunk alarm sounded in the locker room when I took my pants off. They’re saying I can’t have all of this meat in the locker room.
I met Robert Redford 7 years ago and before we parted ways he looked me in the eyes and said “kid, you’ve got the right mix of fat cock and charm that will take you places.” RIP to a legend, I’ll carry your legacy forward 🫡
September 16, 2025 at 5:53 PM
I met Robert Redford 7 years ago and before we parted ways he looked me in the eyes and said “kid, you’ve got the right mix of fat cock and charm that will take you places.” RIP to a legend, I’ll carry your legacy forward 🫡
Pornography? Never heard of it. Is it anything like geography? Perhaps an atlas of sucking and fucking?
September 1, 2025 at 8:23 PM
Pornography? Never heard of it. Is it anything like geography? Perhaps an atlas of sucking and fucking?