Mauser T. Catte
@typomouse.bsky.social
She/Her, Married, Disabled, Ringmaster of Cirque du Chat Noir.
Reposted by Mauser T. Catte
There was a 'womp' sound from the yard. I looked out the window.
Where the large pile of leaves had been, a dragon sat.
"Oi!" I called.
"The hoard was unguarded," the dragon said. "I claim it."
Every damn year. It'll leave once the leaves lose their golden hue. Meanwhile, I can't order takeaway.
Where the large pile of leaves had been, a dragon sat.
"Oi!" I called.
"The hoard was unguarded," the dragon said. "I claim it."
Every damn year. It'll leave once the leaves lose their golden hue. Meanwhile, I can't order takeaway.
October 17, 2025 at 2:35 PM
There was a 'womp' sound from the yard. I looked out the window.
Where the large pile of leaves had been, a dragon sat.
"Oi!" I called.
"The hoard was unguarded," the dragon said. "I claim it."
Every damn year. It'll leave once the leaves lose their golden hue. Meanwhile, I can't order takeaway.
Where the large pile of leaves had been, a dragon sat.
"Oi!" I called.
"The hoard was unguarded," the dragon said. "I claim it."
Every damn year. It'll leave once the leaves lose their golden hue. Meanwhile, I can't order takeaway.
Ah, Clown Summer. I miss when murder clowns were the scariest thing walking out streets...
January 18, 2026 at 7:59 PM
Ah, Clown Summer. I miss when murder clowns were the scariest thing walking out streets...
"Do you need a napkin?" "No, I just need to milk the corn."
January 17, 2026 at 1:04 PM
"Do you need a napkin?" "No, I just need to milk the corn."
The only thing behind those eyes is the sound of Internet dial-up going through, hanging, dropping, then trying to pick up again, on repeat.
January 12, 2026 at 9:53 PM
The only thing behind those eyes is the sound of Internet dial-up going through, hanging, dropping, then trying to pick up again, on repeat.
"Congratulations, you taught our idiots commerce."
January 7, 2026 at 2:22 AM
"Congratulations, you taught our idiots commerce."
"You think I'm the villain? Bitch no, I'm just a dom."
January 3, 2026 at 1:47 PM
"You think I'm the villain? Bitch no, I'm just a dom."
Status of the Circus:
December 29, 2025 at 8:30 PM
Status of the Circus:
"Why is the toilet wet?"
"Cat why are *YOU* Wet?!"
"Cat why are *YOU* Wet?!"
December 28, 2025 at 12:39 AM
"Why is the toilet wet?"
"Cat why are *YOU* Wet?!"
"Cat why are *YOU* Wet?!"
Status of the Circus: Snowed In.
Merry Shitscram.
Merry Shitscram.
December 24, 2025 at 2:35 PM
Status of the Circus: Snowed In.
Merry Shitscram.
Merry Shitscram.
Not that I expect much of anything but hey, I'm trying out something: YCH Kitty Cat Icon Commissions!
Mauser Catte's Commissions
Commissions Open! Click to see Mauser Catte's commission menu.
ko-fi.com
December 22, 2025 at 9:04 PM
Not that I expect much of anything but hey, I'm trying out something: YCH Kitty Cat Icon Commissions!
Boy's fountain stops working.
Boy's fountain is grungy and full of litter.
Clean boy's fountain, find out the grunge has killed the motor.
Buy boys new fountain.
Set up new fountain.
Boys proceed to drink from it by dipping their paws in and licking them dry.
*face in paws.*
Boy's fountain is grungy and full of litter.
Clean boy's fountain, find out the grunge has killed the motor.
Buy boys new fountain.
Set up new fountain.
Boys proceed to drink from it by dipping their paws in and licking them dry.
*face in paws.*
December 20, 2025 at 7:05 PM
Boy's fountain stops working.
Boy's fountain is grungy and full of litter.
Clean boy's fountain, find out the grunge has killed the motor.
Buy boys new fountain.
Set up new fountain.
Boys proceed to drink from it by dipping their paws in and licking them dry.
*face in paws.*
Boy's fountain is grungy and full of litter.
Clean boy's fountain, find out the grunge has killed the motor.
Buy boys new fountain.
Set up new fountain.
Boys proceed to drink from it by dipping their paws in and licking them dry.
*face in paws.*
"I just spent three days riding a donkey while in labor, finally arrive, have to give birth in a pile of hay surrounded by farm animals, worst f***ing pain in the world, suddenly we got three guys I don't even know cheering me on, thank *His father* he's asleep. ... What's this kid with the drum?"
December 15, 2025 at 6:28 PM
"I just spent three days riding a donkey while in labor, finally arrive, have to give birth in a pile of hay surrounded by farm animals, worst f***ing pain in the world, suddenly we got three guys I don't even know cheering me on, thank *His father* he's asleep. ... What's this kid with the drum?"
Cats are like magnets.
We know /what/ they can do, but damned if we know how or why.
We know /what/ they can do, but damned if we know how or why.
December 11, 2025 at 2:28 AM
Cats are like magnets.
We know /what/ they can do, but damned if we know how or why.
We know /what/ they can do, but damned if we know how or why.
J: "I need to start wearing an undershirt under my <work shirt>."
M: "Why, is it chafing the nipples you don't have?"
J: *struck useless*
M: "Why, is it chafing the nipples you don't have?"
J: *struck useless*
December 7, 2025 at 12:48 PM
J: "I need to start wearing an undershirt under my <work shirt>."
M: "Why, is it chafing the nipples you don't have?"
J: *struck useless*
M: "Why, is it chafing the nipples you don't have?"
J: *struck useless*
SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO
IF I GO THERE WILL BE TROUBLE
BUT IF I STAY THERE WILL BE DOUBLE
SO YOU GOT TO LET ME KNOW
SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO
IF I GO THERE WILL BE TROUBLE
BUT IF I STAY THERE WILL BE DOUBLE
SO YOU GOT TO LET ME KNOW
SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO
December 2, 2025 at 8:18 PM
SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO
IF I GO THERE WILL BE TROUBLE
BUT IF I STAY THERE WILL BE DOUBLE
SO YOU GOT TO LET ME KNOW
SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO
IF I GO THERE WILL BE TROUBLE
BUT IF I STAY THERE WILL BE DOUBLE
SO YOU GOT TO LET ME KNOW
SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO
Goal accomplished and I'm STILL grinning like an idiot.
... Which is appropriate, since the goal was to meet SpongeBob.
... Which is appropriate, since the goal was to meet SpongeBob.
November 16, 2025 at 1:21 PM
Goal accomplished and I'm STILL grinning like an idiot.
... Which is appropriate, since the goal was to meet SpongeBob.
... Which is appropriate, since the goal was to meet SpongeBob.
Me, to cats: "Hey kids, it's my gotcha day, what'd you get me?"
King: *uses litter box*
Me: *covering face with shirt* "Oh, God, NO! DO NOT ACCEPT, DO NOT ACCEPT!"
King: *uses litter box*
Me: *covering face with shirt* "Oh, God, NO! DO NOT ACCEPT, DO NOT ACCEPT!"
November 11, 2025 at 12:24 PM
Me, to cats: "Hey kids, it's my gotcha day, what'd you get me?"
King: *uses litter box*
Me: *covering face with shirt* "Oh, God, NO! DO NOT ACCEPT, DO NOT ACCEPT!"
King: *uses litter box*
Me: *covering face with shirt* "Oh, God, NO! DO NOT ACCEPT, DO NOT ACCEPT!"
I am a bad pet parent because I delight in scooping my furry morons up and KISSYKISSYKISSU!!! them on the head until they run 'brrrrt!!'ing at me in annoyance?
...
...
Do I actually CARE if that makes me a bad pet parent? 😼😼😼
...
...
Do I actually CARE if that makes me a bad pet parent? 😼😼😼
November 7, 2025 at 8:31 PM
I am a bad pet parent because I delight in scooping my furry morons up and KISSYKISSYKISSU!!! them on the head until they run 'brrrrt!!'ing at me in annoyance?
...
...
Do I actually CARE if that makes me a bad pet parent? 😼😼😼
...
...
Do I actually CARE if that makes me a bad pet parent? 😼😼😼
"Smart and horny are not a good combination on you, kid."
October 20, 2025 at 1:12 AM
"Smart and horny are not a good combination on you, kid."
Six new Load Bearing Bananas came in the mail today.
And there was much nip to be had through the land.
And there was much nip to be had through the land.
October 14, 2025 at 9:21 PM
Six new Load Bearing Bananas came in the mail today.
And there was much nip to be had through the land.
And there was much nip to be had through the land.
"Oh, hey, patriotic colored rope!"
"Well, we're going to need something to hang politicians with eventually."
"Mauser! You're grounded!"
"Well, we're going to need something to hang politicians with eventually."
"Mauser! You're grounded!"
September 30, 2025 at 8:04 PM
"Oh, hey, patriotic colored rope!"
"Well, we're going to need something to hang politicians with eventually."
"Mauser! You're grounded!"
"Well, we're going to need something to hang politicians with eventually."
"Mauser! You're grounded!"
Let's see.
I caaaaaan listen to a 5mo old kitten sing Touch-a Touch-a Touch Me,
I could read news articles that are going to make me hate humanity
Or I can sit with a pair of headphones on listening to my Halloween Play List on YT.
Hmmm gee what do you think?
I caaaaaan listen to a 5mo old kitten sing Touch-a Touch-a Touch Me,
I could read news articles that are going to make me hate humanity
Or I can sit with a pair of headphones on listening to my Halloween Play List on YT.
Hmmm gee what do you think?
September 29, 2025 at 9:04 PM
Let's see.
I caaaaaan listen to a 5mo old kitten sing Touch-a Touch-a Touch Me,
I could read news articles that are going to make me hate humanity
Or I can sit with a pair of headphones on listening to my Halloween Play List on YT.
Hmmm gee what do you think?
I caaaaaan listen to a 5mo old kitten sing Touch-a Touch-a Touch Me,
I could read news articles that are going to make me hate humanity
Or I can sit with a pair of headphones on listening to my Halloween Play List on YT.
Hmmm gee what do you think?