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twitchard.bsky.social
twitchard
@twitchard.bsky.social
Software hot takes, shower thoughts, and parenting tales.

Currently: developer platform @ hume.ai
Formerly: Stripe, Vimeo, Livestream
so I guess darth jar jar is canon now?
May 5, 2025 at 6:57 AM
April 10, 2025 at 10:28 PM
Moves like this permanently damage the ability of our government to attract talent. The government won't ever offer private sector compensation, and it no longer can credibly offer any stability either if even offices like 18F doing valuable, nonpartisan, uncontroverial work are arbitrarily gutted
18F was doing exactly the type of work that DOGE claims to want – yet we were eliminated shortly after midnight. Read our letter to the American people:
18f.org
We're not done yet | 18F
18f.org
March 2, 2025 at 6:59 AM
Reposted by twitchard
18F was doing exactly the type of work that DOGE claims to want – yet we were eliminated shortly after midnight. Read our letter to the American people:
18f.org
We're not done yet | 18F
18f.org
March 1, 2025 at 11:38 PM
Today at mass the bishop was presiding, which meant the congregation got to hear two homilies: one from the bishop about what it means to be "fishers of men" and one (louder, much more enthusiastic) from my two-year-old about how "the bishop is a chess piece" 🤦‍♂️
February 10, 2025 at 1:57 AM
Apparently my wife (lawyer) thinks my toddler has some of his particular speech patterns (rearticulates large parts of questions you ask him) because when she talks with him about his day she often defaults to techniques she learned for direct examination of witnesses in court...
January 23, 2025 at 7:13 AM
Back when I was 21 I was way better at making New Year's resolutions I could keep.
January 2, 2025 at 12:59 AM
My two-year old has been talking about his "co-worker" -- upon questioning this means his sister (0).

Denormalize "sibling".
December 23, 2024 at 12:04 AM
I am so over trying to get this chihuahua to take his pills. I swear this will be the thing that breaks me.
December 18, 2024 at 7:01 AM
Son (2m): I have a bad idea.
Son: *describes climbing on something dangerous*.
Son: *proceeds to execute said bad idea*.

I guess this means he has good judgement but bad meta-judgement.
December 16, 2024 at 10:20 PM
I taught my two-year-old he could say "just hanging in there" in response so "how are you doing" which was pretty funny, amused friends, strangers, etc. but now he has modified it to "just sitting in there" which just puzzles everyone but I guess I am glad he is making the English language his own.
December 12, 2024 at 2:33 PM
My bank sent me this. It's funny, this was exactly how I proposed to my wife.
December 2, 2024 at 9:48 AM
I used the phrase "whatever floats your boat" once with my two-year-old while mildly tolerating an unacceptable behavior (disassembling the training potty and scooting around on part of it) and now my punishment is that he consistently does this while chanting "whatever floats your boat"
November 21, 2024 at 4:32 AM
Current status:
- Installed xcode from app store
- then "npm install expo"
- had to "brew install" ruby
- so I could "gem install" cocoapods
- now getting errors with "pod install"

Coping with "face install palm"
November 19, 2024 at 2:08 AM
My two year old told me "want to be fashionable" when it was time to get him dressed this morning. I put him in touch with a fashion consultant (his mother) and it became apparent with questioning what he specifically wanted was to forgo clothes altogether. #toddlers #vagariesOfFashion
November 17, 2024 at 10:56 PM