Damn, you're right

Oh shit, this is not a drill!

As well you should be!

Xenos never bothered me anyway

I worked for the same company and my favorite one was the lady who called to complain that one of the treadmills in the gym was broken and she hoped the leasing office burned down and everyone died and their families cried over the ashes. I hope she never had like...a real problem.

Or books where giant crabs destroy tanks

Sorry man, I know it's been a rough few months

I can confirm it's not me, so only about 7 billion possibilities left.

Here you go