At the same time, my chinese family has never considered me fully chinese. Shoot, even my mom is losing full chinese status among my uncles for marrying two white guys and not visiting HK enough, even though they all moved to the US at the same time!

This dynamic often has nothing to do with what your actual physical/cultural bg either (bc racial cats aren’t real fixed “essences”). For example, growing up in TX, I was called “chankman” for years by the white folk, even though the Herndons had been in US and TX longer than those calling me slurs.