Our once 'great' America.

He's some sort of amalgam of Ferrell as Harry Caray and Carvey as the Church Lady.

I'd probably have gone this route if I were an all-powerful loving god that wanted to intervene. Not sure killing an innocent bystander would have made the list of considered options.

America's economic rating has been downgraded to Double Black Diamond.

Fixed it up for him.

This is surely fixing all of the 'economic anxiety' voters were worried about.

Dear @schumer.senate.gov, here is a handy chart that should illuminate for you exactly who you should be fighting for in Congress.

Dude thinks he's the Inquisitor.

Satisfying

She got the photos just forgot to do the reading. But sure, Grimes...you were tricked.

Lol. Lmao, even. I hope John loses everything.