what if I posted little earnest poems on Bluesky, what then?

idk how many Pay with Affirms I got left in me

administering Nutella via spoon & pretzel stick in a way that alarmingly resembles doing heroin

I love all 4 kinds of women

we’ve invented AI but not delicious foods that cause weight loss??? our priorities are WAY OFF

we couldn’t think of anywhere more creative for Santa Claus to be coming down than Santa Claus lane?

genuinely curious what goes on at drivers ed in Florida to make them drive like that

furthermore, they are either free and covered in stains or $25,000

I’m shopping for a couch and have determined that all couches are either 2 inches wide or 70 feet wide and there’s no in between

🎶 the best part of waking up,
is diva in your cup 🎶

I host a show called Sad Girl Survival Guide where I interview comedians about their mental health, and yeah, this video doesn’t really touch on that subject but it features one of my favorite people - @sadgirl_show on IG & TikTok

I’m the kinda girl that shazams the instrumental pan flute version of my heart will go on at the massage parlor

can’t believe I have to wait until tomorrow to live chat with my noodles