Visit by embodiment of colonialism really sticking it to Trump, smug Canadians say

The only white politician we trust:

BREAKING: Incoming Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney reworks cabinet, names new Minister of Crown-Indigenous Relations and Northern Affairs

BREAKING: Author of 1969 White Paper made really cool speech about Canada, so yeah

Liberals gather in Ottawa to chose next white person to lead party

BREAKING: on the same fucking front page

BREAKING: Tone police conduct raids

BREAKING: Security guard racially profiles Indigenous customer underneath store’s land acknowledgment sign

VHS copy of Blood In, Blood Out (1983) selected for preservation in Anishinaabe man's registry

Sad music heard from Prime Minister's office

Political turmoil plagues white government

Canada cuts key reconciliation rate by 50 basis points

News Brief: Actor Matt Berry (What We Do in the Shadows, Toast of London) is bringing his distinctive voice to an audiobook version of The Indian Act, the primary law the federal government uses to administer Indian status, local First Nations governments and the management of reserve land.

Developing story:

BREAKING: Winnipeg white man upset unfettered access to university campus confined to 99.9%

In other bird news:

AFN: Chiefs vote unanimously to blast C+C Music Factory's 'Gonna Make You Sweat,' take dance break

BREAKING: Shit, they're on to us!

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