The Daily Dread
@the-dailydread.bsky.social
America's second favorite satirical news source
ICE Agent Deeply Remorseful After Accidentally Shooting Armed Hostile
January 25, 2026 at 12:29 AM
ICE Agent Deeply Remorseful After Accidentally Shooting Armed Hostile
“I’m Just Glad Our Government Isn’t That Oppressive” Says Iranian Citizen
January 22, 2026 at 8:22 PM
“I’m Just Glad Our Government Isn’t That Oppressive” Says Iranian Citizen
Secretary of Health RFK Jr. Brags He Can Tell What Illness Someone Has Just by Reading Their Autopsy Report
January 15, 2026 at 9:56 PM
Secretary of Health RFK Jr. Brags He Can Tell What Illness Someone Has Just by Reading Their Autopsy Report
US Government Rounds Up All the Journalists to Make Sure the Bad Guys Can’t Get to Them
January 15, 2026 at 1:17 AM
US Government Rounds Up All the Journalists to Make Sure the Bad Guys Can’t Get to Them
Stranger Things Finale Reveals the Real Strange Things Were the Friends We Made Along the Way
January 14, 2026 at 12:52 AM
Stranger Things Finale Reveals the Real Strange Things Were the Friends We Made Along the Way
Greenland Acts Like Our Ally and That’s What Makes Them Dangerous
January 13, 2026 at 1:24 AM
Greenland Acts Like Our Ally and That’s What Makes Them Dangerous
Congress to Weigh in on the Ethics of Invading our Own Ally
January 12, 2026 at 12:59 AM
Congress to Weigh in on the Ethics of Invading our Own Ally
Trump Excited to Meet All the Hobbits in Greenland
January 10, 2026 at 11:41 PM
Trump Excited to Meet All the Hobbits in Greenland
Person With No Grasp on Reality Very Optimistic About the Future
January 2, 2026 at 12:39 AM
Person With No Grasp on Reality Very Optimistic About the Future
Trump Pardons the Grinch for Stealing Christmas Saying It Was All Just a Big Misunderstanding
January 1, 2026 at 12:30 AM
Trump Pardons the Grinch for Stealing Christmas Saying It Was All Just a Big Misunderstanding
Netflix Acquires WB Games, Becoming the Second Most Used N-Word by Gamers
December 20, 2025 at 10:39 PM
Netflix Acquires WB Games, Becoming the Second Most Used N-Word by Gamers
Trump Receives Nobel’s Coveted “Participation” Trophy
December 17, 2025 at 10:03 PM
Trump Receives Nobel’s Coveted “Participation” Trophy
Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene Resigns After Realizing She’s a Majorie Failure
December 14, 2025 at 12:06 AM
Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene Resigns After Realizing She’s a Majorie Failure
New Twitter Location Label Reveals Many Users Posting in a State of Delusion
December 13, 2025 at 12:18 AM
New Twitter Location Label Reveals Many Users Posting in a State of Delusion
Trump Copies Putin’s Peace Plan Homework but Forgets to Change the Name
December 11, 2025 at 1:11 AM
Trump Copies Putin’s Peace Plan Homework but Forgets to Change the Name
Average Reading Grade Level of Gen Z is Also 6-7
December 10, 2025 at 1:58 AM
Average Reading Grade Level of Gen Z is Also 6-7
Tomahawk Missile Obliterates Bathtub Toy Boat Over Drug Trafficking Suspicions
December 5, 2025 at 10:50 PM
Tomahawk Missile Obliterates Bathtub Toy Boat Over Drug Trafficking Suspicions
Therapist Dying to Tell You to Get a Better Haircut
December 4, 2025 at 3:11 PM
Therapist Dying to Tell You to Get a Better Haircut
ICE Agents Last Seen Pursuing Princess Leia and the Death Star Plans
December 3, 2025 at 9:04 PM
ICE Agents Last Seen Pursuing Princess Leia and the Death Star Plans
Stranger Things Season 5 Dangerously Close to Making Will an Interesting Character
December 2, 2025 at 6:37 PM
Stranger Things Season 5 Dangerously Close to Making Will an Interesting Character
People Complaining About Air Traffic Cuts Should Just Suck It Up and Use Their Private Jets Like the Rest of Us
December 1, 2025 at 1:59 AM
People Complaining About Air Traffic Cuts Should Just Suck It Up and Use Their Private Jets Like the Rest of Us
Kanye Hires Private Investigator to Find the Marbles He Lost
November 29, 2025 at 12:06 AM
Kanye Hires Private Investigator to Find the Marbles He Lost
Instead of the Politically Incorrect “Happy Thanksgiving!” Say “Gobble Gobble! Go Choke on a Mashed Potato!”
November 28, 2025 at 1:21 AM
Instead of the Politically Incorrect “Happy Thanksgiving!” Say “Gobble Gobble! Go Choke on a Mashed Potato!”
Most of US Government Budget Spent Treating Hand Cramps from Constantly Rewriting History
November 26, 2025 at 7:36 PM
Most of US Government Budget Spent Treating Hand Cramps from Constantly Rewriting History
After Madagascar Military Coup, When Asked When Public Elections Will Be, Military Simply Says, “I Like to Move It, Move It”
November 25, 2025 at 3:09 PM
After Madagascar Military Coup, When Asked When Public Elections Will Be, Military Simply Says, “I Like to Move It, Move It”