YEEEEESSS OMGMMGGMMFG THANK YOU SO MUCH AHHHHGJGKFD

SCREAMS???

it's like a big fun contest, you gain points for drawing ocs! 👀 anyway lmk if you do it this summer, i would definitely draw your ocs 👁👁👁

I feel this 👁👄👁 have you done art fight before?!! it's a yearly thing where people draw each other's ocs 👀

thank you grave!!! 🥺💕

I should perhaps seek talk therapy again 😌🤡

I think, in the end, if it make a thing and im proud of the thing, I will want a cookie for my efforts. if i dont get cookie, it's ok for a while, but then brain get sad and fucks off. and idk, that's a yikes? 🤔

im not sure if i am even articulating in a way that is best representing what im trying to say. 👁👄👁 But either way, it's not a great way in trying to maintain connection most of the time.

and I think my problem with how i engage and invest myself in fandom spaces is that, if i start to feel invisible or if i feel like im not getting as much as i'm putting in (out of the fault of no one!) my brain breaks a little and I just ...tap out? and become void?? a sudden hermitage just happens

I am unfortunately a creature who craves engagement for the things i put work into. I think a year or so of doing podfics where the most well received stuff were on collaborative works and not the solo stuff i poured all my heart and soul into was crushing enough that i stopped sharing my creations.

I even freaking picked up some light animation! which is crazy. I drew comics! I drew fully rendered full body art! I practiced drawing fake humanoid bird anatomy! I started writing fanfiction of said humanoids birds?? and i posted maybe 1/8th of it all.

I think my problem is that I am, like, weirdly embarrassed! I mostly drew fanart but then had an explosion of OC-only art for like a straight year or whatever, but I hadnt posted any of it bc... idk! I was content to just share it among my tiny ttrpg group and that was it.